Feeling Lost and Lonely

I've been dealing with depression for 25 years and it has been under control during periods of my life but right now I just feel so lost and lonely.

I have two children and both have been diagnosed with liver diseases, my daughter when she was 7 and my son when he was 20. My daughter has had a liver transplant and the disease is back in the transplant. We have almost lost her several times and last year she spent 6 months in the hospital. We weren't sure she would come home. My son is in the early stages of the disease and is doing alright but I just feel worn out thinking of what is to come.

My best friend just passed away from cancer in May and I'm still trying to understand why she wouldn't see me before she died. I know it was her journey but I feel so sad and lonely without her.

I have a supportive family but my depression is leaving me paralyzed. I can't do housework, I can't seem to do anything productive. I just need help but don't know where to turn.

My children need a mom that can be strong for them and I feel so weak and helpless.

My meds keep getting increased but nothing seems to help. I'm on 60mg of prozac and .5 of clonazepam. I go for counseling once a month and feel better for a short period of time. I'm tired and just want to sleep.

[sweetiepye]

Hello Lorcan, When my brother was dying of cancer he didn't want to see close friends because he wanted them to remember him as he was and I also think he was afraid he wouldn't be able to stay in control of himself. Maybe it wasn't the same for your friend but it gives you the idea that it might be about something you have no idea of.

I am sorry for what you and your kids are going through. It would be surprising if you weren't depressed. I wouldn't worry about anything but loving on my kids.Your family needs to step up and you should tell them that. All the home chores could be parceled out so no one is over burdened including you. An hour or two from two to three people could make a huge difference to you. You need to ask your Doctor about your meds. Please keep in touch. Others may have better ideas for you and you will get more responses. Pam

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Hello Lorcan123, I am not surprised that you feel lost and lonely. Your children's health and their needs must be a constant worry for you particularly as you have nearly lost your daughter several times.

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend less than three months ago. I think you may benefit from some grief counselling, is this something that you can talk about with your present counsellor? Perhaps you could see your counsellor weekly or fortnightly as I think you would benefit from more frequent support at the moment.

I would suggest that you make an appointment with your GP and tell him exactly how you are feeling. Maybe you also need a change of medication so ask your GP to review your medication. Also ask for additional and/or more frequent counselling.

Lorcan you are doing the best you can. Please try to be kind to yourself. Can your children and your husband help with the housework for a while? A change in medication and more frequent support will, I hope, help to lift your mood and help you to feel more positive.

I wish you well Lorcan, please let me know how you get on,

Lottie x