Alcohol

[manfy]

Does anyone use alcohol to blot things out. I seem to rely on a drink on an evening to relax 😔. This makes me feel really guilty.

[DMM218 Ambassador]

The question is how much and how often? Using alcohol to blot things out on a regular everyday way will spell long term trouble if addiction kicks in. By blocking the feelings you will still have them. This non resolution will create further stress.

On a personal level I understand why you drink. It's a temporary coping mechanism and gets you through. So I'm not getting at you or telling you to stop, just to think long term.

If you are doing this you need help to resolve the underlying causes of stress. Can you speak to doc about counseling or therapy to support you through this. It's healthier than alcohol.

It's difficult this struggle- you feel you can't do anything right. This is help out there and your not alone. Lots of people use alcohol to de stress. But there are other options too. Physical exercise can really help reduce stress levels.

It's sounds as if you got a lot to get through. Keep posting so people can help.

[manfy in reply to DMM218]

Thank you for your reply. I drink alot, every night. I have decided to try to give it up. It will be difficult as I do think I'm am alcohol reliant now, but really want to do this.

[DMM218 Ambassador in reply to manfy]

Ok it's tough so maybe get advice from doc. You could suffer alcohol withdrawal symptoms so you need help and support for becoming 'sober'. If there are friends and family you trust let them know what you are trying to achieve.

Going sober is hard so get professional advice on it. You need to know if safe to abstain or cut back and make a plan.

You may want to get help through AA. If alcohol is a problem with or without addiction they can really help.

You may have to do activities in the evening so that psychologically you are in a different situation from drinking at home.

Be prepared for a tough time and remember if you can't abstain or fall off the wagon - that's ok - just keep trying with a realistic plan.

Don't punish yourself for this. We all have unhealthy coping mechanisms. Mine is spending too much and skin picking.

I could easily have used alcohol as you have.

Let me know how you get on. First step to recovery is acknowledging the problem.

[manfy in reply to DMM218]

Thank you. I will Google AA to find my local one and see what support they can offer me.

[DMM218 Ambassador in reply to manfy]

Good - getting into a group will support you. All sorts of people attend meetings and share. You aren't alone and alcohol doesn't discriminate. You will see it much like an illness - it's not your fault to be a drinker. Don't go through this alone. Attending first meeting will be hard but it will make a difference. Let me know how it's going - even if it's badly!

[manfy in reply to DMM218]

Thanks for that it's made me feel better. I will let you no how I get on.

[abirke]

i come to this site usually but I saw you and your friend alcohol reaching out.....I too am an abuser. I have not touched it in a while but , but everything you are going through, even a death, my husband this last March, I have suffered. I needed something I could lean on....and alchol seemed the only thing to be there for me....It was a lie, but I leaned that way anyway. I was going through menopause, I HATED where I was working, my husband was seemingly falling out of love with me, my kids were leaving the nest....bam bam bam I felt so alone .....I had noone at my work who wanted to be friends...still don't know what I did for them to separate themselves from me...but oh well thats all bridge under the water now....lol

But the thing that affected me the most was that I was losing my joy....I was so unhappy.....alcohol was sucking the joy right out of me.....and I knew it was this libation doing it , I seen it happen before, with my mom and brother.....and then another BAM, my husband was given a diagnosis of PSP; Progressive Supranuclear PaIsy...What I call Parkinsons UGLY cousin....the disease is in the same family but much more pervasive...no drugs only sure death within 6 to 9 years. I now knew I had to stop drinking...but how....

I'd been a church goer for years...not one person there knew I had a problem....but finally I reached out to them and straight away they helped me.....now I was leaning a little away from alcohol....They got me into a program , Celebrate Recovery, it's a God centered AA program where the first thing we do is admit that we cannot do it alone...we need Him!

It is said that we do not make a change until the pain is greater than the change itsself.

We can see the light but we don't change until we feel the heat.

It sounds like maybe your pain with alcohol has or is become greater than your need for it.

It's time for you to change and you can do it

If you want to talk, I am hear

AVB

[manfy in reply to abirke]

That was a really kind reply, thank you. I'm sorry you have and still are going through so much. I will try and get in touch with AA. I don't have any friends, my two sisters are my best friends, but their life's are really busy we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like.

[abirke in reply to manfy]

Please do....If you are a Christian, you might want to try CR...it is Christ based and provides a cleaner environment ....not to judge AA because it is wonderful and CR is based off of the tenants of AA. But I don't like to be around old smoke and coffee...

But again lean on what you must to get out of the steely stinking grips of alcohol....

And remember this, there is always one who is there for you, yep you guessed it , God....and with that I will leave you with a couple of verses that have comforted me and I hope will comfort you.....

AVB

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. Matthew 21:22

[DMM218 Ambassador in reply to manfy]

Still give them a quick call just so they know. They will be pleased to hear that you are trying to get healthy.

[Hidden]

Manfy

I do drink although not when I am badly Depressed. Over the years I have had an agreement where I can have the odd tipple twice to three times a week. I am not a problem drinker and if I thought that I would stop

Will have a couple of Pear Cyder tonight and tomorrow. On Monday I will have a can of beer and a couple of tots of Malt. If I feel tired on Wednesday will have a weak beEr and one dram. If I feel it is going to my head I stop.

BOB

[Hidden]

A big factor about this is 3 things from my personal experience with substance abuse: your enviorment which includes the people you associate with, your activites and or habits that you enjoy doing, and your overrall self image about yourself do you think you need a drink to be comfortable with that thought that is attacking you inside your head. If not than I think you should just embrass that feeling that you are trying too ignore , you'll be motivated eventually too change your areas in your life that need some work. Trust me its a pain in the rear I know but sometimes you have too be brutaly honest with yourself about whats really going on inside you. Hope this helps.

[Busylizzie65]

I drink very little these days as I feel rubbish the morning after, and in any case alcohol is a depressant and I don't need any encouragement in that department! If you think you may be reliant then get help now (GP maybe) and try to find alternative ways of spending your evenings, either long walks on these light summer evenings, or you could start to build up a social life (try Meetup) which will have all sorts of benefits.

Easier said than done, I know, but you sound quite determined and that's half the battle.

[Hidden]

When I visit Scotland sometimes I go to Whisky tastings, normally I only drink to taste and most of the drinks are not a full dram. If you drink and it effects your health, you stop.

If I have been drinking I do not drive or make any important decisions.

I treat my medications with respect, several are potent.

Be safe and sensible, a treat can become an addiction do not forget that

BOB

[villaris1973]

I have thought about having a drink @ night to help cope better with my anxiety. Not sure if it would help me to relax & sleep more soundly.

[Sarah1111111 Ambassador in reply to villaris1973]

Alcohol helps you get to sleep but after a couple of hours you wake up as your body reacts to the change in alcohol levels. So whilst it might seem a good idea at the time it can actually make your sleep worse than if you took longer to get to sleep.