so an update...
after finding out by mistake that I had EUPD down as my diagnosis I queried it as I know that I didn't meet the criteria and had never been assessed for it. It has been a bit of a saga but have now been assessed by psychiatrist who didn't think i had it but because it was going against my records he then requested 2 psychologists do a 2 hour assessment. Their conclusion - they agreed with him ( and all previous assessments i'd had in the last year) i didn't have it. They have now changed the whole way they diagnose EUPD/BPD and are making sure that anyone who might have it is given a proper assessment with the psychology team to make sure it doesn't happen again.
I suppose it just shows that we shouldn't just accept what they tell us but if we feel we have the wrong diagnosis to challenge it. It was hard work as every time i challenged it they pointed out that disagreeing was a symptom of BPD so you have to be brave and stick to it but it is worth it to make sure that you get the right treatment.
The whole way they treat you for EUPD is different to depression so it is important and it does matter.