First Post

[rockymntkate]

So this is new for me. I was recently diagnosed with persistent depression disorder and thought I'd give this a shot. I've gone for years with what I thought was just borderline depression and tried to hide it from others and myself. Lately its gotten worse, which led me to the doctor/diagnosis. I've also had several problems with my thyroid the last few years so that probably didn't help either.

I've decided to try this to see other's experiences and how to live after the diagnosis I guess. Lately I've felt in a whole new "world" now. I've had a lot of changes and even more things that I do want to change. I guess I'm just concerned that this is all in my head and I don't need to worry about so much. (I know I shouldn't worry about things anyway, I had a TIA, mini stroke last year at 19) but some things have really been eating at me and I guess I'm worried to make these decisions now, worried I'm making them too fast. The biggest one (and important one) is about college.

I'm going to be starting my 3rd year, history education, but I'm starting to doubt myself. I love the idea of teaching but I'm worried about being happy. I'm pretty sure I'll be fine with teaching but its getting to that point. I'm consistently thinking about after school and moving away from here to "start my life." I'm wanting to transfer out of state to a different school in the rockies but I'm worried its the whole "fight or flight" thing that I'm having with myself after the diagnosis. I'm worried if I make this decision, will I regret it because its just an overreaction to the diagnosis? Or will I continue to be miserable and depressed where I'm at and always longing to leave, kicking myself for waiting?

I guess I'm just asking for advice on how to take this. I'm constantly fighting with myself on this and my doc is in-between. She believes I should do what would make me happier but she's also worried I'm moving too fast into this (even though I wouldn't transfer for another year, I would be taking this year off though.) Anyone else in a similar situation and wanting to move? Or wanting to make a big decision like taking a year off but afraid to do so ?

Any help/advice/encouragement helps. (sorry this is long, hopefully I did this right)

Thanks & God Bless! ~Kaitlyn

[sweetiepye]

Hi Kaitlyn, I don't think it matters very much if you move away, you will still be taking your issues with you.When I was teaching (art) I tried to make every year a fresh start .When do you do your student teaching ? That should help you make your decision. Any decision you make can eventually be reversed. If you love your subject and like sharing it you will probably enjoy teaching. Pam

[rockymntkate in reply to sweetiepye]

I wouldn't be starting my student teaching till the spring of 2019 if I stay on track. If I take a year off I would be pushing that back. Thank you so much for your help and support!!!

[sweetiepye in reply to rockymntkate]

It won't hurt you to take a year off if you're sure you'll go back. You would have to pinky swear to that. Pam

[Hidden]

Hiya Kaitlyn, you say, 'She believes I should do what would make me happier'. That's it in a nutshell - health, happiness and hope are the 3 things I would concentrate on and you can't go far wrong. I wish someone had told me that when I was young ! Take care.

[DMM218 Ambassador]

Sounds like you've had tough few years - physical and mental ill health at such a young age. With regard to the college move it sounds as if you've given it a lot of thought and worry. Usually it's the quick decisions we regret. So you shouldn't feel like it's wrong just because it's a change. If you have weighed it up then it's a good decision. I think what you are worried about is your future in general and not just the move. That is perfectly nature given your life experience so far. Your life has given you struggles that no one anticipated. Don't let that affect your judgement or self esteem.