Esa50: I had my esa50 form come through... - Mental Health Sup...

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Esa50

harv_singh profile image
6 Replies

I had my esa50 form come through but I haven't filled it in yet, I'm terrified of what might happen. I'm seeing the doctor next week because I feel so scared, I've tried fighting my depression on my own but I now know that I need help and support. My brother has stopped talking to me because he's angry that I'm not working and my 2 sisters barely talk to me, I have no friends and I live at home with my mum, I've tried talking to her about it but she finds it difficult to hear. I know I should fill out the form soon, I'm scared the doctor will section me as I have lots of cigarette burns on my arms. I can't leave my mum alone, I really need some advice, I'm so scared! Thank you

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harv_singh
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6 Replies

Hi can you get some help filling the form in? The CAB should be able to advise you and there should be disability help groups in your area so google them and contact one of them.

You don't know what is going to happen in the future do you so don't meet trouble half way. So fill the form in and send it off. If you don't complete it you won't have any chance of getting benefit will you.

How do you know your brother has stopped talking to you because he is angry with you? Angry about what? Has he said this? What about your sisters, do you know why they are this way with you? Don't make the mistake of 'knowing' what others are going to say and do before they do. This is called 'Magical Thinking'. Maybe your siblings feel guilty because they don't do as much as you do for your mother? There could be lots of reason why they act as they do towards you. Maybe too it''s a lot less about you and much more about them.

I assure you the doctor will not section you coz of cigarette burns. If they did that the hospitals would be very overcrowded! They generally only do it if they consider you to be a real danger to yourself or to others.

You need to get some counselling. Hugs xx

harv_singh profile image
harv_singh in reply to

Thank you, my brother has verbally and physically abused me (swearing and hitting) because I don't have a job, he won't even speak to me on the phone, when he was out of work and I was working I always helped him as much as I could. A lot of the awful things he has said to me has contributed to my anxiety, to be honest I'm terrified of him.

in reply to harv_singh

Well this is totally out of order by your brother as no matter what he thinks of there is no need to resort to verbally and physical abuse. No wonder you are terrified of him and it causes much of your anxiety. My guess is he is behaving like this because that's who he is and it's nothing to do with you. You just provide a handy scapegoat for his uncontrollable temper.

Do you have to be in contact with him? I would avoid him as much as you can and certainly be very distant with him whenever you have to have dealings with him. The way he behaves is not your fault and never believe it is. I wonder how many other people he is violent with? I bet he has a history of it. What does your mother think of him? If he physcially hits you again can you report him to the police? Or at least threaten to?

Unfortunately you can't change how others react to you; you can only change your reaction to it.

Platesofmeat profile image
Platesofmeat

Ask your GP to refer you to a psychiatrist as you may need medication at this time and psychological help.

Families often do not understand so see health care professionals who see what you are going through on a daily basis.

Like the other poster said ask for assistance from the CAB to help you with the form this is their website and should lost your nearest one.

Www.citizensadvice.org.uk

Wwwbenefitsandwork.co.uk is another helpful site but at this stage the CAB is probably the best option.

Good luck and be honest with you DR, otherwise you will not get the help you need.

harv_singh profile image
harv_singh in reply to Platesofmeat

Thank you

DMM218 profile image
DMM218Ambassador in reply to harv_singh

Remember depression is an illness. It's treatable. It's not caused by you. You aren't responsible for being ill. Your brain chemistry is all to pot. The attitude of your brother won't help you. He is letting you down. He sounds very backward. Don't let him abuse you or bully you. Look after yourself. There is a lot of stigma about mental illness still - that's due to people's ignorance. Don't let it affect your opinion of yourself. You are ill, you need medical help, you deserve support and compassion from family. I hope you can get through this. Keep posting x

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