Hi guys! So i'm back from my last "little" panic. I just want to say thank you for everyones kind and reassuring comments. I believe i had quite a severe anxiety attack, i can't remember much, just had a bit of a shut-down. I just remember feeling very ill, tired and out of it. I'm beginning to pick myself back up however and i have applied for more jobs which i'm remaining positive about (until i get the next job interview and lose it again!😂) Though i'm going to try and remember i have done it before and smashed it so i can do it again.
I never thought i would say this but i actually want a job! Even if it was just one day a week (i want more hours than that) it would be something to focus on and give my week a little structure! In the meantime i'm keeping myself busy by helping around the house and land, and whenever my mum pops out to do errands i'll tag along with her just to get out and about.
I had a little upset the other day as on social media all i would see is people my age out being careless and having fun and it made me realise my life is dull, boring and i haven't really got anything to look forward to and it's my fault for holding myself back for all these years! I only have 2 friends, both of which i'm very close to. I have asked to meet with them many times now but one of them just avoids the question completely (shes gone through a bit of a tough time and i think i may know why she does not want to meet) and the other has a LOT going on right now with barely any spare time for friends. For the first time in, well forever i actually feel pretty lonely which is rare as i usually like my own company and don't tend to need that social aspect.
I have a question in regards to depression. Now i just want to state i have never been formally diagnosed with depression (i have with anxiety) though i am pretty certain something isnt completely right. I have been extremely unhappy, and I have never felt anything quite like it before - this 'episode' has gone on for around 4 months now. So i just wanted to get a bit of understanding on the duration of depression, is it a condition that will eventually go away or is it something that will always be there but we will learn to cope with it? It's just I know my aunt has suffered with it for many years now and i believe shes been on anti-depressants for around 20 years. Sorry if it's a dumb question i just really have no idea if it's ongoing like anxiety or not.
Thank you & I hope you are all well.
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