So a little update, I have told my mum I think I am ready to see a GP again. Due to how bad the NHS is with mental health we have decided to try a private health service instead for a few sessions just to see how I feel. At the time of talking about this I felt relieved but this morning its soon gone back to being petrified of it! It just becomes much more real when discussing it with a professional, and the fact that I don't even like talking to strangers!
Anyway, my mum said she would like to see me complete my apprenticeship but I said it just wasn't an option, I'm incredibly unhappy, the hours are too difficult to cope with, and I've now got college on top of it all to deal with - it is simply too much. She then suggested that I get a part-time job so it is easier to cope with, and if I enjoy it I can always ask for an increase in hours, but as well as only having to deal with part time I may also look into volunteer work in animal-based work so I can get my foot in the door almost, as I do like the idea of working with animals. We made a plan for me to start applying to jobs now, but as I am scared it will take long and I will be stuck in my apprenticeship for longer we will rethink the plan if I still don't hear anything in 3 weeks.
I'm just really scared to start applying for jobs, the whole recruitment process makes me feel sick with worry, the idea of having to go for interviews, or the risk of not hearing anything. But I have to do it if I want out of this apprenticeship. Any advice on staying positive during job hunting? Last time I looked for work I applied for over 50 jobs and heard nothing, not even an interview.
My only other worry is I am 17. In the UK there is a law stating you have to remain in education until you are 18. I am 18 in only two months and I have contacted the national careers service who told me in a lowkey way that the council most probably wont even notice, I am just worried about getting caught out.. No fines have ever been issued for this, and if they do notice they ask why you dropped out of education and what your plans are but I don't know.. I'm just nervous.