Emotionally unhappy feeling trap in life

Has anyone ever felt empty, bored and full of hate and sadness in your life that you just don’t what to live anymore and sometimes wish you were normal and wish you never felt so alone?.

I’m going through a tough time right now, in a situation where my parents are having problems causing the whole family to hate on each other, while’s I ‘am trying concentrate on finding a job which is my number one priority, so I can independently move out and take care of myself which at the moment isn’t working out for me which is making me feel depressed to a point I don’t what to live anymore.

I’m sick of having to go down to job centre being asked the same questions, have you found anything and did you get an interview, do these do that but nothing work’s.

I don’t really feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this especially in person as to what everyone will think of me and because I don’t have the confidence too. The where time’s where I’ve talk about it with friends and strangers but never seems to help but only makes me realise how much this is affecting me.

My depression started during the time I was at school, in a very important time of the year of going through my GCSE’s which was the time I started to worry about my life and what i was going to do when I leave school which was one of my biggest worry’s.

Then after some support from school I went in to college after terribly failing my GCSE’s exams, so I stay at college for about 4 years and then left and now I’m here unemployed with family problems at home.

6 Replies

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  • hey KMD, this is a depression forum so of course we've felt all that, except the hatred. I've had a lot of depression in 73 years but rarely felt hate or anger. Plenty of other bad habits but not those.

    Now listen ,you sound pretty young. Depression and home circumstances have taken a toll and very seriously knocked you back and they would have knocked most back. They might knock you back further yet but you do sound stubborn,thank the Lord, and full of fight. Fight's Ok ,its anger and hate I don't like.

    Do what you can at home to get some love back into the family. You may not achieve much but its a good exercise to try and think of things you can do. You are n't alone and I could cry to hear so many young people in just such difficult situations. It was easier in my youth. However ,remember there are a lot of others like you , and you might succeed where others don't. if you're honest , can work hard and conscientiously, and are reasonably smart (you don't have to be a bloody genius ) sooner or later I'm sentimental enough to think some employer will eventually see this. If you have mates in work push them to think of you if a vacancy comes up. Most jobs change staff and if a mate recommends you you might be on the inside track. For God's sake don't let anyone down though,if it happens.Also pick the most approachable job centre guy , tell them the problem ,and say "Look you must have c*** jobs that no one wants to do , can't you get me one of those,or help me get one.' Anything to get a start. It might not pay enough to get you your own place but its a start, and any start is better than where you are now. A step up to something better will be easier than finding that first one.

    Have you got a local market. A big one always needs porters ,casual labour,and if its a small one,a stall holder might appreciate a relief worker for an hour or two. Even voluntary work for nothing is better than festering at your age. "Festering" will lead to more hate and anger and other bad habits and then you will be on a real down slope . Try,try ,try to spread some happiness even if you feel awful. Please. It will all help.

    You'll get something but for your sake don't F-- - it up with hate and anger. The opportunity you find will be rare and you've got to make the most of it.

    I do sincerely wsh you all the luck going. Every one gets some good luck some time -make sure you recognise it when it comes but you'll have to work at it.

    Olderal

  • Hi Olderal,

    What a fantastic common sense approach.

    Hannah

  • I feel hate for myself when I'm depressed -is that what you mean?

  • Yes and hate for others as well

  • Neither is that helpful so I know you said you don't want to talk to someone about it but it might help to start reducing it. I know when I hate myself I self harm and worse and that feeds into depression and can be dangerous. I am guessing if you hate others you might also be getting angry with them?? This can land you in trouble so worth sorting before it does. There are anonymous phone lines you can call like Samaritans but there are also charities that do online counselling if you would prefer that. If you think you could cope with talking to someone look at see whether there is an iapt /talking therapies nhs service near you. They let you refer yourself and normally have short waiting times and are free. You'd be surprised how many people are in your situation. But I also agree with olderall that getting out the. House and doing something positive is always a really good place to start. I know I feel better when I am with others doing something useful. Good luck with everything 😄

  • Look Deep Within it is up to you. You can fight this depression and feel strong again.

    Do not dwell on the way you feel we have to fight back otherwise we go on a long downward spiral which you may feel is a hard climb back up to reality.

    This is something we all have to deal with at sometime or another.

    So be a survivor and do something about it. It is only you that can change the way you feel and it maybe a hard struggle but look at the lessons you will learn by taking the big step forward to a new future and adventure.

    Look on You tube and learn to crochet or knit bonnets for premature babies or boots for sick animals who need operations.

    This will help to lessen the depression and do something useful or volunteer at a charity shop for the work experience and you will meet new people.

    Sick cats and dogs at Blue Cross animal hospitals are calling on pet lovers to donate baby socks to help them get better.

    Our veterinary teams use the tiny socks to keep pets warm while they are being treated under anaesthesia.

    Elise Smith, Veterinary Nurse at Merton animal hospital in south London, said: “When animals are under anaesthetic, their body temperatures can drop. This can prolong their recovery time and have an effect on how quickly drugs are metabolised.

    “At our hospitals we have many ways to reduce this problem, but one rather quirky way is to put socks on all anaesthetised patients. We use donated baby socks, but, as modelled by sleepy Dominic here, we also have knitted socks.

    We would be really grateful for clean baby socks or washable handmade baby socks that we can use on pets during procedures If you would like to donate socks to one of our animal hospitals then please feel free to drop them into our Grimsby animal hospital, Hammersmith animal hospital, or Merton animal hospital, or send them to

    Blue Cross, 7 Hugh Street, London, SW1V 1QG.

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