I am fed up with feeling inferior, insignificant and that everyone is judging me. But then, at the drop of a hat, I can be on a high, getting along and joking with everyone and having a laugh. Yesterday I returned to work to find myself sat at my desk, joking and chatting only to start sweating, boiling up and shaking. So I ran outside to get some fresh air to find myself still shaking and then being violently sick and crying. I went back into work after the episode but this happened several times throughout the day. Up, then down.
I've been tried on Sertraline but they didn't agree with me (sickness, diarrhoea and insomnia). So I was put on Fluoxetine and there were no side effects. That didn’t help so my dose was doubled and I am now on 40mg a day.But, I am still having these episodes of manic changes in state of mind and confidence.
I am fortunate to have an awesome employer and they’re very understanding and caring. But I am starting to feel like I am taking the mick (Mickey Bliss) now. I am worried about getting dismissed but I genuinely don’t know what mood I will wake up in. I will either be so happy and chatting to anyone and making (mostly inappropriate) jokes or I will be so inferior and convinced that everyone is looking at me - especially on public transport or in public locations.
My doctor said he doesn’t “think” it’s anything like bipolar but it’s not being ruled out.
I am curious to know if anyone else is experiencing similar symptoms and would be willing to give some advice?
Thanks in advance!