Hey guys! I've never written on anything like this bear with me! I'm just going to dive right in....

I have been feeling so bad for the past couple of weeks. I'm on medication to help, but I've just hit a major bump in the road and can't face feeling like this anymore. I feel so alone and isolated. I haven't experienced anything major to feel like this which worries me. I just seem to have a huge emptiness and feeling of failure. Im only 24, i have friends, a full time job, family and good health. There's nothing wrong and I feel like a fraud for feeling like this...but I just feel awful. Everyone around me either has a partner or is going to uni, getting married, having kids, going on holiday, getting promotions, etc. But I just feel like I wake up every day, go to work, eat, sleep and wake up again.

Does anyone else feel like this? Like there's just a big nothing-ness?

Thanks for any advice anyone has x


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18 Replies

  • Hello

    Sorry all I can say, welcome to the real world, most of life is of the mundane with sudden surges of of mixed emotions and worrying about what is lacking in your live and sudden feeling of anticipation, not forgetting wonderment.

    All I can say generally is life is how you make it,

    Can we help in some way ?? It may be a good idea to talk to your GP, He may be able to give support if required

    We are also here if you want to talk


  • Thank you for the reply, but I'm sure you'll know yourself that that phrase "welcome to the real world" doesn't help anyone. Thanks!

  • Hi,

    I would suggest that you need to be on your meds a lot longer and ask your gp for counselling or therapy...


  • Okay thank you!

  • Also, you don't need to have a trigger to become depressed so don't worry about that and please don't feel guilty about feeling the way you do because you have a lot of good things in your life. Depression can happen despite having a lot going for you. It's an illness that you need treatment for, so no need to feel a fraud..having said that I often do too!


  • Yes, I think that's what scares me most, that there's nothing that has triggered it, but I suffer from social anxiety too which goes alongside with it. But it's hard trying to explain to someone what's wrong when there isn't anything. I just feel like at 24 everyone elses life is going full speed ahead and I feel so isolated and alone feeling like this. I just don't see the point in doing anything anymore and at 24 I feel like I should have accomplished so much more but this has stopped me. And now I'm getting too old to go back and accomplish those things. 😐

  • Bambix,I've written you a longer post. Remember depression warps everyone's thinking. You will feel alone and isolated but unless you've got an unusually charmed bunch of acquaintances and family I can assure you that their lives are not all going full speed ahead.

    I'm 72 and any 72 year old can tell you it would be very hard to think of anything worthwhile its too late to do at 24.


  • No way are you too old! Your life is just beginning! And remember you only see a small part of other peoples lives that they choose to let you see, so you don't know what problems or issues they may be going through - no one's life is perfect. As for getting married and having children, I didn't do either until well into my thirties. I didn't leave home until I was 31 or even get a permanent full-time job til that age too. So trust me, you're doing great, even though it may not feel like it at the moment...


  • Thank you so much. I was so scared because noone else talked about it and I thought I was the only one around me. It's good to get advice from people who understand. So appreciated. I'll keep you all in my head tomorrow x

  • Hi Bambix

    I noticed in your first post that you said everything is happening for everyone else, but you had a job etc & you feel as though you haven't achieved much and you feel too old to do anything! I am over 40, didn't do too well at my school, so I took to going to college in the evenings to achieve more qualifications & re-train for a change of career! No it's not easy to study after a long day at work, but 1 night a week may be possible & I met other people I didn't know so made some new friends! Since having been medically retired at 39 and have been in a wheelchair since 2011, I do long distance learning as I'm having to re-train again!! But I'm not ready to give up yet, & there is always gonna be something new to learn! Some of the courses are on the computer as e-learning courses! But the ones I am doing take approx 3 months at a time long distance courses, not OU & give me the motivation that I don't have to sit on my sofa & just watch to, I did try that for a while!

    I'm not saying you have to do loads of courses like I am, but they can help you to get promoted, change career, learn something new! You said you feel alone, it might be good for you to branch out & broaden your horizons!

    It's up to you what you do & I can't tell you how to live your life! You are never too old to try something new

    Good luck anyway

    Take Care. spykey

  • Bambix, its stating the obvious but this is a depression forum so you can bet your boots that we've practically all felt like this and ,like you, usually with no identifiable cause.The more ancient ones such as myself many,many times.

    It will pass, even on its own, medication usually makes it go more quickly, but unless you're very lucky medication usually take up to two months to be effective.

    In the mean time you'll discover that you,along with most of us are far stronger than you think. I would find out all you can about it and I usually recommend Jim Phelp's site,an American site which has a lot of reading and advice.

    My advice would be to keep it to yourself as much as possible ,totally, if you are very strong (except for your GP of course and this anonymous forum is obviously OK). Attitudes to mental health are still a long way from where they should be and can do a career a power of no good. There's nothing wrong in admitting to friends and family that you're feeling a bit disillusioned with life,most feel this way at times. Maintain your friendships and normal life as much as possible. This is not at all easy as one loses interest in most things when depressed, but the human interaction gained from this is a big factor in recovering and makes picking up normal life again far easier.

    The world has n't changed,its still a wonderful beautiful place full of wonderful people. It's just that your perception of it has temporarily changed. Depression warps one's thinking. You are not a fraud, you are experiencing an illness even though you have no physical symptoms.

    At 24 with a family,friends,good physical health,and a full time job you are in better shape to cope with this than many and I'm sure you will. It won't help much but I used to try and remember that 90% (?) of the humans who have ever existed can no longer wake up every day,go to work, eat and sleep . and quite a lot of those would have considered such a boring existence heaven even when they were alive.

    I can absolutely guarantee you that you have much happiness and wonderful experiences ahead of you ,once this bad (for bad read awful) spell has passed. I console myself with the the thought its character building although often I was n't sure i wanted my character built quite that much.


  • I so appreciate your post. It's very wise and I have taken every word in. I'm less scared now. And I'll take your advice with me. Thank you so much x

  • I'm not usually accused of being wise but thank you. The hardest part of the advice I have given is to keep it totally,if possible to yourself. Posting and replying on this forum will probably give you a useful chance to share your feelings and fell less alone.

    If you find it too difficult to carry the burden alone apart from your GP and the forum then sharing your problems with a very close friend or member of the family may help but I would ask them to keep it to themselves for the reasons some of which I have given below. As almost no one can keep a secret, choose as wisely as possible who you confide in. I did not have the benefit of this forum but my wife was the only person who knew as far as I know. Also as far as I know she never told a soul. She of course had a vested interest in my continuing with my career, but she was also a tower of strength, and a great help to me. I did tell my kids when they were about twenty but I don't feel they really took it in .I was just Dad.

    The problem with everyone knowing , apart from problems it could give at work is that it will always be the elephant in the room, a problem everyone is aware of and yet no one mentions. Relationships are also changed as loving friends will want to and try to help and will experience frustration as few if any can help much. It could also give rise to mild paranoia and you could be tempted to "lean on" your depression as an excuse for everything.

    If you can't carry the burden yourself and you have to confide in someone you'll only be where you would have been anyway so nothing lost. Medication and maybe therapy (check with your GP) will help a lot but the biggest help will be your own strenth and courage. If that fails occasionally you just get up and try again.

    There have been several posts on the forum from people who have kept it entirely to themselves for years without even seeking medical help so it is possible for some. I needed the pills and my wife's help. You'll see how you go but I'm sure that you ,like most, are a lot stronger than you think and it does n't last for ever. With me it recurs but every time I can deal with it a bit better and I reckon if I can last to about 110 I'll have iot totally beaten.


  • It is truly crazy that there is still stigma attached to mental health issues when the fact of the matter is at least 1 in 4 people will suffer from some form of mental illness in their lifetime and that is just an estimate. So who knows what the real figure is. I suspect most people have to deal with it, but just fear admitting to it because of others judging them. But if most of us are suffering, it is ridiculous that people are afraid of being honest about it...


  • Could n't agree more Anna,and like you I suspect the figure is higher than 1 in 4.

    My approach does n't help much but at least my demands on the health service, benefits etc were minimal and I saved everyone except my wife a lot of worry. In fact tough as depression is it's probably as tough on one's spouse or partner. I did n't know I had it until I'd been married about 10 years. Had I known about it before marriage I would have felt it necessary I think to have told my wife.

    Now that I'm retired I don't advertise my depression but I have no objections at all to telling people if it arises. I was fortunate in that I was able to put up a front and never had to take a day off work because of depression despite spending about 25% of my working life from age 35 depressed ,in what most people would regard as a pretty tough job. It does generate extra stress and can be quite exhausting but I'm absolutely sure that my career was much more successful as a result .Provided one can keep up a front and don't go under, many of the social and work commitments you just have to meet involve a lot of human interaction which is probably good for anyone who is depressed. Its one of those provided it does n't kill you it will cure you situations. Until the next time . i had a lot of next times and still do but i have got much better at dealing with it .So far.


  • I have every respect for you, Olderal. You seem such a strong person. I wish I was as strong as you. Unfortunately every emotion I have is written all over my face, so it is hard to keep my feelings to myself. I do try, but it seems like a constant battle!


  • Hi. just a suggestion: if you have a habit of checking social media every so often, now would be a good time to stop. It might inform you about what your friends are doing, but it essentially does you no good. It's just not an accurate representation of anyone's life; you might see pictures of your friends being really happy, but it's only a moment in time, and not their whole life. The point is, when we use social media we fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to other people and that never ever bodes well for us. It can definitely worsen our depression and make us feel awful about ourselves. Don't be so hard on yourself. Do what you do. Cherish what you have. If you knew that something was going to be taken away from you like food or a place to sleep, or your well-being, wouldn't you be more grateful that you have it now?

  • Totally agree...

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