A BLACK HOLE AND A BLACK WHOLE

After a productive day working in my flower beds and getting out lawn chairs I was feeling satisfied but strangely emotionless.Later I was so tired I almost went to bed with my clothes on, I could hardly move. I had a shower and then it hit me like a black cloud. I could hardly breath. I have never felt so alone ,so helpless. I didn't want to talk to anyone because I saw the hopelessness of my situation, and then I felt the sweetness of relief. I could end it, I didn't have to feel this way anymore. What stopped me was the complete inertia I was in. I couldn't decide how or when, and it didn't seem important.

Tuesday I am calling a counselor first thing. It was a bad scare and I'm afraid it will happen again. You people are the only ones who will understand, thank God for you. You are a blessing in my life,Pam

[Iluvhorses]

Maybe something happened to you and you were in shock or denial. Then suddenly it hit you if you know what I mean. This is just a suggestion, but it's good that you're going to talk to your counsellor.

[Hidden in reply to Iluvhorses]

You are spot on.

[darkshadow]

Do you think that it was a sort of panic attack? The speed of it suggests that to me.

[mysmugcat]

I'm sorry to hear you had your thoughts. I understand. Please get the help. You have a friend here. Please hang in there.