Right, well, I'm just about to do my as levels (in two weeks) and I've been recently diagnosed with depression. Due to my depression I've had no motivation to so any of my college work and am now considerably behind on my college work. I kept telling myself that I'd get this sorted out soon and didn't need to worry about the work, as I thought that once I've been to the doctors I'd get help straight away and could focus on things that are important at this stage of my life. However I've had to wait quite a while for a reply from the doctor to take further action and I've only just got a phone appointment to 'discuss my options' on Monday.
I only just realised that I have to finish all of my work for 4 subjects (which is an insane amount of work) in two weeks and have stopped being optimistic about sorting out my depression/ anxiety.
I. Am. Fucked.
I don't really know why I'm writing all this on here. I realise that there is nothing anyone can do now but I guess it's just nice to get everything out sometimes.
I think you've answered your own question there. I don't care for that level of language on a friendly forum.
in reply to
Morning 7up hope you're feeling a lil better today.
It would be best to change your name, whether it is offensive to you or not clearly it is to others and seeing how you are asking for help from the same people that may find it as such, it would be prudent to do so please. Did you manage to do any work yesterday?
YEY I MADE MYSELF A NEW ACCOUNT SORRY GUYS I hope my new username is less offensive and I'm sorry for offending any of you, but as I mentioned before, I didn't realise.
And I'm afraid I didn't JAMES as I didn't get your reply's until this morning because I didn't even realise how to look at them until now :/
HOWEVER I am planning on making a list of exactly what I nee to do, as one of you suggested, either on one of my breaks at work, or after work
Thank you all so much for this I didn't realise just how much help this website would be xxxx
I too havebeen there!! What you I think you must do is 1) Go and see your GP - you do mention waiting a while for a responce, but I am not sure what you mean?? You must sit make an face to face appointment and possibly get a note/letter that explains to your tutors how ill you are. One step at as time. Tutors are not robots - they have seen this many, many times before. You MUST speak to your tutor about exactly what you are going through, and, be HONEST.....I am pretty sure they will come up with an agreed stratergy for your work load.....
After you have done this think about the next stage.
* I do agree with the other person who has replied to you. I would advice to change your user name for something more acceptable.......!
Best of luck,
Ollybear.
R
Hi...lets just call you 7up for now...
If it's not too personal a question, what are you depressed about?
Regarding the course work, try not think about having to do 4 pieces of work. How about you just pick one and try to do 30 minutes? Don't worry about how much you will still have to do. Once you've done the 30mins give yourself a pat on the back & go stretch your legs & walk to the kitchen and get a drink or snack. After 5-10mins how about going back & doing just 30 more minutes work? Would that be possible? You'll automatically say "yeah but..." (see you just did it) but don't listen to that.
Sorry I dint reply to this earlier but I wasn't sure how to say what I'm depressed about. First of all, I realise that all of these reasons are the sort of things every teenage girls has to go through and I don't really understand why this effected me as badly as it did.
When I was younger I started becoming extremely concerned about my appearance and developed bulimia, which I learned to control and finally recovered after 3 years. So before I started college I was ok. but then stupidly I fell for a boy who told me that he liked my best friend, and this hit me pretty hard. I then started to blame myself for this and tried to change myself and my bulimia came back, I developed severe social anxiety and went to the doctors to get help who then told me I have depression also.
And on top of this, after this boy upset me (this was just before Christmas btw) I started relying on drugs and alcohol to make me happy which probably didn't help the situation in the long run.
Please don't tell me that things like this happen and I shouldn't worry myself, because I know this and as I've said, I don't know why this effected me so badly.
Don't take this as me talking down to you, ok? It won't be intended to.
Emotions, love & the other sex is a mind field of conflicting thoughts & feelings for people of any age but especially when we are young. The first girl I had strong feelings for let me down badly & it hurt a hell of a lot - I still feel bad about how she treated me if I think about it & it was 20 years ago. I was upset & angry for a while at the time and it probably effected me for a few years if I'm honest. But the initial pain didn't last for too long though the anger did. All I can say is that the pain doesn't last and if used it can help you choose better the next time.
It's like anything in life we have to learn, it's just that these are the most difficult lessons to learn because they involve emotions & the heart.
I've never had an eating disorder & not being female I've never had the media obsessed perfect female ideal to live up to. So I don't know if a male perspective helps as it might be a little too simple but to me a girl shouldn't change herself just to catch the eye of any guy. Of course if there are things she wants to change about herself for her then fine. But to do it just for a guy? No. You are good enough or not. No that's not right. You are compatible or not. If you change for someone then isn't that person liking the person you are pretending or trying to be? Surely that means he doesn't know you but who he thinks you are. Well that would mean the change would have to be permanent or you'd have to continue pretending or you show him you & hope he likes the real you more. Wouldn't it be better to be you & if the guys likes you then great, & if he doesn't then great because it's better to find out early & move on?
These things do happen, they have to for us to grow. The reason it affected you so much is because you were emotionally invested & these feelings weren't returned. You will learn/get used to these feelings although you may never master them, don't know if anyone ever does. Because when they are returned, it's the best feeling in the world. So don't give up. Concentrate on the course work. Do the exams. And when love comes looking for you, grab it with both hands, tie it to the bed & don't leave the room for 3 days (this is to be taken figuratively & literally lol)
I disagree with you there. If you're not motivated to work, then you're less likely to get on with it and try your best. But I will do and thank you for the advice!
When you're depressed, the link between motivation and action is reversed (credit Gambit62 for this, I learned it from her!). Usually you act on motivation, but with depression you have to act to feel motivated. Part of dealing with depression is just learning to be mindful of that, and dragging the energy out of yourself to do something in the knowledge that it will get easier as you go along.
Do you have a diagnosis from your doctor? If so ask the college if you can have an extension for extenuating circumstances. But I imagine they'll only consider it if you have a formal diagnosis on your medical record.
hiya, believe me I know what you are going through i am just about to sit my A2 levels and know how over welming it can be to have all of the coursework on top of you aswell as revising and trying to make improvements. Also I know how unhelpful it is to see all of the other people in your class being further ahead of you and nearly finished. By best advice to you, form someon who suffers alot from self doubt and crappy self esteem is that you need to take the time to sit down and make a list of all of the things you need to do to complete the work and get a good grade.although the list may be long, ticking off the to do list one by one is such a satisfying feeling. For me once you dive intot he coursework, your mind wonders and your full attention is on the work not how you are feeling. but dont take it from me try it for your self
hope that helped in some small way and dont let the work load get you down, sometimes their are more things to life than school!!
it came take a while for the docs to get the ball-rolling, and sometimes there can be a wait and see approach, have you jotted down a list of point/questions for the doc? Nothing worse than putting down the phone and realising you've missed out the most important stuff.. Glad you've changed your user name, Who knows you might even decide that "yep " suits you even more?
Wow ok thank you I didn't even think of that! I'm not really sure what sort of stuff to ask tho
Hi
You are at a difficult stage of life now to have depression because A levels are demanding and most people find them stressful, and of course stress overload often leads to depression. You do not have long to begin to feel better if you are to complete the work and it must be difficult for you to feel you are in an impossible situation and will be unable to do that. I can understand why you feel f...d up! By the way, by using the name you do I guess you mean 'messed up' and I think the name you use is a good way of saying that - but some people will find it offensive so you could maybe use 'f...d up'?
I guess by doing A levels you were hoping to on to better things - maybe Uni - next year (?) and now it looks as though that might be messed up? You don't say anything about the kind of support you have in your life - a mum, dad, friends, etc, nor why you are depressed - if you know.
It's good that you do now have a phone appointment - why only phone, is that with the GP? Do you have any thoughts about what kind of thing you might find helpful, meds, therapy, support? I am wondering whether your college has a student counsellor - usually they do and can generally offer appointments at fairly short notice, they are used to students struggling when it comes near exam time so if there is one do phone Monday and make an appointment. They are well trained usually and can support students effectively.
Depending upon why you are depressed and how long you have been depressed for we may be able to support you on the website sufficiently to enable you to begin to catch up with the work. Often talking (writing too) about feelings alters them because sharing them enables understanding and feeling understood often takes the edge off depression. So do write more about how you are feeling and any thoughts you may have about why - if you feel you want to of course!
Another thought is to speak with the college about getting extensions on any coursework. You can often get an extension with a note from your GP so ask during the phone appointment if you can have a letter saying you are struggling because of depression and recommending some extensions if that is possible. It is also possible sometimes to hand in coursework the following term and also take re-sits for the exams in the autumn - yes it may result in delay in your plans for next year - if you have them - but it is easy to defer a Uni place for a year and if you did not plan Uni then probably other plans can be delayed without too much harm.
You are not 'f...d up' but you are in a situation that is not as straightforward as you wanted it to be - but that need not be the end of the world. Depression need not be an endless thing, the important thing when you are your kind of age is to come to understand what has led you to be depressed. Using meds without also combing that with a talking treatment enabling the development of insight (understanding) can result in needing to stay on meds for a lifetime when that need not be necessary.
If you feel up to it say some more on here about how you are feeling and the kind of things that have led to your depression and perhaps we can begin to support you in time for you to get back on track.
I've explained my causes for depression on 'JimDon's reply, sorry I realise that most people won't see it as it's not in the most obvious place, but I have tried
Yeah uni is my goal after college and it's probably the thing I looks forward to most in life, so seeing as I haven't been doing great recently at college makes me doubt whether I will go to uni when I originally planned and I really REALLY don't want to pro sponge this. Also my current situation makes me doubt whether I'll be accepted by my 1st choice uni, which I've wanted to go to for years now, and honestly couldn't see myself going anywhere else.
My parents aren't much support atm. I don't really know my dad and he lives in a different country to me, so I can't really get advice from him, and my mum, well all this is going to seem unlikely as she's studying to be a mental health nurse and suffers from depression herself, but she sees my depression as not being that bad because my life has been easier than hers. I can't talk to her about anything because it'll turn into an argument, and on top of that, I can't talk to her at all after she's had a drink which is almost all the time I'm home. So she's not much help. She isn't very supportive to me because were such different people and she doesn't understand. For example I tried speaking to her about how bad my social anxiety was getting (I would have at least 1 anxiety attack a day at this point), and she, and I quote, told me to "get over it". I haven't really spoke not to her about anything after this.
But my friends have been super supportive as they're in a very similar situation to me, for some reason we all became friends due to our shared problems with depression and anxiety and other mental illnesses.
+sorry for all the swearing but I honestly think that sometimes they are necessary to describe situations accurately as they show my anger.
Finally, the phone appointment is with the well being service as my gp decided that was the best option for me
I hope I've said everything, thank you for your help xxx
Hi, Oh yes, sorry, often I find I can't read all the way through posts and all the replies when there have been a few so just respond to the initial post, sometimes it can be useful not to know what anyone else has said - a fresh look at things.
The bit about not wanting to pro sponge going to Uni when you intend - I presume you mean you want to do that or not at all? That sounds a bit as if you are setting yourself up for inevitable disappointment which is a typical depressed response, imagining the worst scenario and then bringing it about. You may have to think laterally and perhaps use the year to find a better way towards your end goal.
It's sad about your parents - having a Dad in another country isn't much support and it sounds as though your mother is dealing with her own feelings and doesn't have any space for yours. It is worrying that she is becoming a mental health nurse but still drinking heavily despite that, also it sounds as if she is really quite insensitive towards you at times.
I am not surprised you are angry! You are not getting the support you need. I'm glad you have support of friends and that they share some of your difficulties but you also need to mix with people who do not have problems otherwise that may feed into your tendency to think in a depressed way right now.
The reality is that right now you are feeling depressed - and angry - if you can use that anger to focus upon your work and get the grades you hope for then you may still be able to achieve your first choice of Uni but if you find yourself unable to then you have the choice of either sabotaging your hopes by refusing second best or accepting that you have had a glitch and need another year in which to try again. There is no shame in that. I wonder if you perhaps want to go to Uni this year because it will enable you to get away from living at home, but if that's so then accepting second choice Uni will at least enable you to do that and if you work at Uni then you can make your mark and do well. Do consider why you will only accept first choice - the best - as often that can be a self-defeating move and a way of directing anger towards yourself.
Yeah I find it strange that she wants to be in mental health too, it's a bit ironic, but she is extremely good at what she does which is surprising.
I agree about the friend situating, however I find that my friends are more supportive and understand me more because of this, which is something that I think is important to maintain a good friendship and people who don't understand find it difficult to like me as I'm quite open about things but don't like upsetting others. I was thinking of seeing the college councillor but people have said that she isn't very helpful at all, but I guess it's worth a try.
I completely agree that maybe aiming for the best isn't the best thing for someone in my situation, but it's something I've always don and has almost become a bad habit of mine. However I think it's good that I set myself goals as it gives me something to look forward to and live for.
I guess I'll have to wait and see and just go with it.
Yes, I know what you mean about people understanding you more if they have experienced their own problems, a bit like on this site!
The college counsellor may not be any good it depends upon the college. Also don't expect any counselling to solve anything, what it can do is to enable you to think with someone about the feelings which have driven the depression, especially in the past - if you can do that then it may enable you to begin to think differently about things.
You are right, expecting the best only is a bad habit! It's also one I share, but when it causes you problems then it is worth looking at alternatives as there is no point in holding yourself back. I agree about goals - what are you hoping to do eventually?
What's the 'Nope' about?! Sounds like it is a stubborn refusal!
BUT I HAVE MY APPOINTMENT WITH THE WELLBEING SERVICE IN 5 minutes
I'm planning on going to ual and finally getting a career in the fashion industry (yes, I'm aiming high), as it's the only think I've really been properly interested in and know I'll always enjoy
And the 'nope' is my username, I'd rather not reveal my real name on here xx
Hi Nope 7up! Nice to meet you. As you have already seen we are a very friendly bunch. You will always find advice, caring and support here. I am glad you changed your name - I don't think swear words are allowed on the site and you will soon get told, if not banned if you use them! If I want to swear I will say something like c.... or phkd instead. That's acceptable. x
I think swearing shows anger in my writing, and the subjects that I talk about make me angry, so I'm sorry if I offended you but I honestly wasn't intending to and I'll follow your advice next time xx
Yeah I've not been too bad recently, but my depression usually comes in random little waves that can last for weeks at a time, so I'm trying not to get too optimistic
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
lol
Hearing voices is hard work!
I guess this is the way things are for now
How do people cope with full-time job and depression/anxiety?
(Lack of) support at work
Newbie here Looking for advice , thanks in advance x
