On a MAJOR downer.....out of nowhere the black mist appeared and now I'm smothered by it.

[Sareheadies]

I don't know what's happened but I feel so crap. I woke up feeling good and then out of nowhere I became all heavy and black....that's the only word I can use to describe it. I've stood ironing thinking about disappearing. I'm not brave enough to commit suicide but I just feel I want and need to just disappear into thin air where no one can find me. My husband and two kids might be a bit worried to start with but like anything, they would manage to get on with their lives and be happy. I feel so alone. I hate this feeling so much because I feel a failure to my kids. . They've all gone out for a walk with the dogs, I said I didn't want to go which will no doubt be thrown back at me at some point. I hate myself so much and I hate the thought of being a burden to others. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.

[jillylin]

Gentle hugs. I would recommend a visit to your GP for a chat. Sounds like you need a little extra help and support right now.

Hugs

Jillyxx

[Hidden]

Hello

If you feel this way you really need to see your GP, He/She will decide on the right course of action. They also understand and know your medical and mental conditions.

Your feelings are not uncommon, as many as 1 in 3 or more have mental health issues and most can be suppressed or cured, so you should take advice as soon as possible

Good Luck

BOB

[Sareheadies]

My problem is that I am living over in Spain and they are totally unsympathetic and uneducated about depression. All the doctor ever does is change my tablets. I'm now on venlafaxine which I'm not so sure help me very much. I hate depression and I hate this feeling. Been getting like a missed beat in my heart....like a rush, judder type feeling.....this is a relatively new symptom for me? It's not until you're away from Britain you realise exactly how good our NHS is. Thanks for the responses, I've had a good old cry and feel slightly better.

[Photogeek in reply to Sareheadies]

Hi I'm glad you feel a bit better now. Depression comes like

Something so unexpected, it's not logical or sensible. As Lucy said,

See did anything trigger it, maybe a cross word from your husband or

Being overtired. When I'm down some things can send me right down,

If I can figure out the triggers it helps me to look out for these in

Future.

Being abroad can make it hard as some cultures have a different

Attitude to Depression, you sound stressed And maybe you

Need to let the Doctor know that you feel like this. I think there is

A Spanish website for Depression Support, I will try and find it for you.

Do you have any supportive friends there? I think we have all

Felt like this and it's hard, but you will get past it.

Hugs

Hannah

[Hidden]

Hi

Oh how sad feeling so unhappy when you have a husband, two children and a dog. It must be difficult for you feeling so very low whilst living in Spain - I do know they are unsympathetic, it is a very different culture. You do not say whether you are living in Spain because you have chosen to and I wonder do you have any English speaking friends in Spain? Also I wonder whether it might help you to speak with an English speaking counsellor - there are English people living in most regions of Spain and talking with someone may help you to discover why you are suddenly feeling so very low. I guess you could google to find someone who speaks English, or maybe put an advert in a local paper or shop, or maybe find someone word of mouth? I don't know the meds you are on and whether they are for depression, but if they are they seem not to be working well enough for you so talking things through may be a better option.

Suex

[Suzie40]

Hello. I'm sorry that you're having such a tough day. The suddenly feeling low is one of the joys of depression. I wonder if you could sit down at some point later and try and identify something that might have been a trigger. For me it can be something as simple as reading a stroppy work email on my day off that can send me spiralling. The juddering feelings you are describing are typical symptoms of anxiety, and this often goes hand in hand with depression. That said, I am not a doctor and I'm not trying to diagnose you: if you are worried about anything you should make an appointment to see your doctor again x

[Dasis]

Feeling alone apart from the whirlwind of family is anxiety triggered for me seeing the mist before it comes down helps when at times days or weeks start with a desire for escape from the small things we can see are nothing until the darkness falls. Reaching into the dark many things seem more than they are a guide who can stand with you pushes the darkness back such friends can help with simple messages that show empathy not sympathy.

[FallenAngel]

I relate so much to what you said , depression is a stealer of light and good and it makes us doubt our sanity and existence .. its hard , try and be strong , that's about all we can do x

[Sareheadies]

Thanks everyone for your comments. Been a bad few weeks xxx