Tight foreskin advice: My son is 8 and... - Men's Health Foru...

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Tight foreskin advice

123mum profile image
14 Replies

My son is 8 and has (in comparison with his brother) longer foreskin which he is unable to pull back over the top of his penis. When he tries, he succeeds to about 1/3-1/2 of the head, so some of the tip can show. So far he has not had any health issues with this. We went to see a GP and had been seen by a specialist, who after examination said it’s currently not an issue as it doesn’t obstruct passing urine. My fear is that as he grows older, it will cause him pain during erection and later on during masturbation or intercourse, something surely nobody wants to be experiencing, and I would rather if this issue was resolved while he is relatively young. What I am wondering is, if there are people who had this problem into late teenage years and adulthood, have you managed to find natural way out of the problem or would you have rather if this was surgically resolved at young age? I don’t want to miss the window of opportunity to help him while he is still quite young, if this was of more of a benefit than doing nothing. Thank you

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123mum profile image
123mum
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30male profile image
30male

I didn’t retract my foreskin until I was 13. Didn’t even know I could do it. Mine was somewhat tight and I remember stretching it, but that’s a lot of attention I had to put down there which I wish I didn’t have to do as a kid.

His current issue may or may not be an issue in later life. You could be thinking about surgery that may never be necessary. All surgery comes with risk. This forum does not seek to interfere between doctor and patient

123mum profile image
123mum in reply to

I get that this is not to be taken instead of consulting doctor. The issue is, the GP/first doctor fully agreed with my concerns and said her son had similar issues and had them resolved at 13 but she wished it was done much sooner as by that age the solution was much more traumatic for him than if he was pre-puberty age. The second doctor/specialist was a bit rough in his examination and then completely dismissed me saying it doesn’t prevent urination, therefore no issue. I felt a bit “fobbed off”, not taken seriously. My thoughts are, if in the future any sexual activity causes him ongoing pain, it could lead to creation of wrong associations and impact his sexual life into adulthood. I know this can happen in girls so I suppose it could happen in boys (although I’m no expert obviously). The reason why I ask is that as a woman I have no experience to know if to pursue a second specialist opinion/intervention. I have no brothers, husband has no such issues, it’s not a commonly discussed topic even amongst male gender... therefore I was looking for users of this forum with this situation as their own personal experience and finding out if they would have rather the issue was resolved in childhood rather then left till puberty and beyond... I don’t want to miss the opportunity to resolve this while he is young if that is what would have been preferred by those who had the same problem. (Although I am seeing from responses that generally people feel it would be ok to leave it for now)

in reply to 123mum

You seem more concerned about your thoughts about what may or what may not be. You have seen a specialist who has told you it is not a problem now. You are wanting people here to intervene in that medical advice. I appreciate your situation but getting guys here to give substance to your unwarranted fears is not the way to go. You could ruin the relationship you have with your son. That does not appear to have figured in your thinking.

123mum profile image
123mum in reply to

Wow! And you are a moderator here??? You say I am aiming to get “substance to my unwarranted fears”??? I am “concerned more about my thoughts” ??? It’s not figuring in my thinking that I could ruin the relationship I have with my son??? What do you think am doing right here?! I’m trying to gain better understanding of an issue that I cannot myself have an opinion on as I am not a doctor and as a mum I am a female and I DON’T HAVE MY OWN PENIS!!! I have received TWO very different medical opinions and before making further effort of pursuing another specialist’s second or third opinion, before taking my son for yet another maybe not so gentle and for him potentially embarrassing examination, I wanted to know what people who had the same issues as my son thought in retrospect was a good solution or what would they have seen as the best option, now that they can look at the situation from an adult perspective. So that is a reason why I have accessed this forum, because trust me, I don’t get kicks from posting penis questions on the internet! I find it shocking that especially from the position of a moderator, instead of helping communication on this sensitive and not very discussed subject, you dare to subtly suggest that I am being a self centred rubbish parent!!!

in reply to 123mum

You wanted views on your issue and I have given you mine. That you might not want to hear it is for you to decide. I am sorry it was not what you wanted to hear. As well as moderating this forum, I am also a member of it. If my time in being a member of, and also moderating health forums, has taught me one thing it is the danger of passing on unpalatable messages. The bulk of the advice given to you is to wait - which ties in with the specialist medical advice you have had.

“Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.”

123mum profile image
123mum in reply to

Yes I wanted views on this issue. I was specifically asking for people with their PERSONAL EXPERIENCE same or similar to my son’s and wanting to know if they were happy with the solution they have eventually received, whether it was by non-surgical way through creams and stretching, surgical through some form of circumcision or if it naturally changed as they gone through puberty. I was interested in personal opinions based on personal experiences. If there was a significant number of people who would have wished this was resolved for them while they were young and they would not remember it, it would signal to me that I should get second or more reassuring medical opinion with emphasis on some kind of actual help instead of just being told “It’s not a problem” without reasoning. Similarly, if there is bigger number of people who can say from personal experience that this situation will indeed resolve itself or that medical intervention in later years is not a negative experience, then this would reassure me that I can indeed sit back and relax, do nothing and not worry about him getting older. You have shared a weak and utterly unhelpful opinion of “it may or may not be an issue in the future” on the subject and your second reply was not an opinion on the subject at all, it was judgmental opinion on me and my motifs for asking here. This is clearly shown by the fact that you have used such phrases as “You seem... You are wanting... and You could ruin.. “ If you have posted from a position of a forum member, then I don’t see how your post fits in my request for hearing about personal experiences or indeed with the intended ethos of the forum as described in the guidelines. You expressed (very much from position of a moderator) that this forum “does not seek to interfere between doctor and patient”. I answered clarifying that I never asked for opinion that I would follow instead of official doctor’s advice. In fact I have not at all asked what to do! I have asked for experiences. The fact that some are actually telling me what to do or not to do is not an outcome I was actually asking for.

Your conduct and replies were condescending and in a stark contrast to what this forum is promoting in the general guidelines- “(to post information...) primarily drawn from personal experience. You are encouraged to post content about your own experience with penis health (or that of a loved one), ask questions, and offer support and advice.” What I found most shocking that you as a forum user/moderator you should be a prime example of these guidelines, yet your patronising approach is likely to discourage some from asking!

in reply to 123mum

If you look around, I am sometimes the only person responding to posts. It is a public forum and you ask of the whole forum. Of course you are going to have people coming between the doctors and your son by going to the docs first and then using the forum as a means of deciding what you do about their advice. Mostly we have guys asking questions on here instead of going to a doctor or to help for when they do go. We advise them to see a doctor if it is the former and to give them pointers to what they might ask if the latter. If they have been to the doctor, the advice is to follow that medical advice or to get a further medical opinion.

You have now had responses and I hope the forum has given you what you need to make a good decision. I wish your son well.

Wait and see, age shouldn’t be an issue. Discovering masturbation in next couple of years or so might gradually resolve it.

jimfromcalif profile image
jimfromcalif

It should loosen up when he hits puberty. Right now, it's quite normal.

Jnt131 profile image
Jnt131

I've this issue. I am 90% sure I should have been circumcised as a kid. So hoping to do it as an adult. I feel had I been done as a kid I'd be none the wiser and seen it as normal. Much harder getting the courage to do it as an adult.

uncutforesk profile image
uncutforesk

Hello 123mum, my mother took me to the doctor when I was 4 y/o. (To get circumcised?) The doctor dilated my tight foreskin, then retracted my foreskin. My mother said I was bleeding. All I can remember was that it hurt. At the age of 12 my mother again took me to the doctor to have my still tight foreskin circumcised. The doctor chose a conservative approach and said that my foreskin could be saved with a dilation procedure. He inserted a hemostat into the tip of my foreskin and opened the hemostat. He repeated the procedure several times until my foreskin was loose enough such that my foreskin could be fully retracted. He told my mother and me that I should fully retract my foreskin twice daily (morning and evening) so that adhesions would not form. Solved the problem. BTW my brother 2 years younger could easily retract his foreskin. Tight foreskins resolve at different ages. Your son is only 8 y/o. Good luck.

Gibbo2012 profile image
Gibbo2012

Hi 123mum at the age of 8. This is normal, tight foreskin generally resolve at different ages as it depends on many factors including development. I would try gently stretching the foreskin while your son is bathing. This will help. I wouldn't force the foreskin though as it will be very painful for him. In time it will be fully retractable. Once he can fully retract it. He will need to retract it at least twice a day. Until he becomes sexually active. I wouldn't worry about it to much at his age. I hope this helps

As a 77 year old man who was recently circumcised, I would offer that to avoid your son having a problem, return to a specialist and discuss circumcision . I suffered all my life with this problem. No matter how many times I washed, it always had an odor and felt unclean.

I wished all my life I had it done as a baby, but the cost was $10,00 and I wasn't worth it.

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