First time blogger looking for information.

[gnomemad]

hello, I'm here looking for information about side effects of meningitis. I had meningitis at the age of 15 and am now 27. I recently turned to the internet to figure out why my memory is so bad and why I act the way I do. Until now I always just thought that I was stupid or mental and berate myself for my downsides. I muddle through words sometimes and mix them up when i'm anxious, excited, or tired. I also call people by different peoples names. I misuse words and don't remember asking someone a question three or four times. I used to be teased for all these at school. I spent four days at home thinking it was flu, but when i became light/hearing sensitive mom took me to the E.R. I have never seen doctors move a patient so fast. They screamed at her for neglecting to bring me in sooner and I spent a few days in the hospital, but don't have a lot of memories about it or during recovery. I know mom took me to New Mexico and I was tired a lot. I do know that I stopped playing sports after that because i was exhausted all the time and I still consider myself a tired person. I also have constant back pains and a stiff neck. I went into a severe depression after vm and have had problems relating emotionally and socially with people. I feel like my memory problem is getting much worse now that I've also been diagnosed with daily psychogenic seizures and am on disability and don't do anything routine anymore. I'm not allowed to drive and can't go out into public alone or shower without monitoring. So i'm not doing anything any day unless it is straightening up my home. I feel like most days i'm in a brain fog and the day passes by and i'm too tired to care most days. I feel overwhelmed even by the simple stuff. Does this sound familiar to anyone else's experiences? I need to know that i'm not crazy or stupid.

[Tiga]

Oh honey, you are not going mad, and yes it is normal what you are feeling.

mine is nothing likes yours, thou an evade film watching, I am enjoying films I have seen before, as I have forgot most of it (sorry my humour is how I cope in life)

I have a daily calendar with what I am doing, each day I do a job, ok cleaned my wardrobe out about 300 times now, but it keeps my mind alive.

thou I went back to work (freelance pa) I had to blag a lot of things, but my brain is like a computer so I treat it like one, the way I look at it, the old software had a virus (VM) and has messed up all the sub folders and folders (yes I am a computer geek) and now I have down load new software, something its fab and other days I cannot find the info I need.

I found changing my diet, taking B6, Vit D, and eating fish, is now helping my brain to sort it self out.

internet is a great place to re format you head and mind, find forums, find things to read and learn, what do you love? find it and learn more about, in a way you have to retrain your feelings and moods threw you brain, its like you have been re booted, but the brain not sure what to do.

re them screaming at your mother, that was out of order, and maybe you need to address this with her, I had V for 3 days while helping my mother move to new home, I thought I was just ill, and if you read my story, you will see what a complete mess it all was.

back pain is so very normal, I use a tens machine, this is such a big help ( and drug free) also ice packs and a good tub of vic, ok you will stink, but any form of peppermint will help with pain

YOU ARE NOT!!!!!!!! crazy or stupid, hell just read all the stories on this site, and you will know you are not alone, once you realise that you will start to feel better.

ok lets say you was in a very bad car crash and went threw the wind screen, the scars would tell every one you was hurt with VM there is nothing to see, so many people just do not understand, which then makes us feel we are going mad, BUT you are not.

You have to re train your mind, think you was in an accident, and you have to have therapy to get threw, in a way you was your poor brain in fact cooked in side your skull, so its feeling a little sad and lost, bit like you are feeling.

Make lots of notes (ok you will look OCD) lol who cares, plan each day project do learn something new, that makes you feel happy.

feeling like you want to scream, do but in a song, find a song you can song you can raise your voice as much as you want, sing loud and sing proud, get your mom to do this with you, trust me she feels bad inside in what happened to you, and quilt will be with her all the time.

take vitamins, change your diet, funnies on u-tube

sniff (LOL not glue) something you like the smell off, mine is violets and vanilla.

write a dairy (journey) on how you feel, see if there are any triggers to how you feel sad or angry or happy. this way you are taking control.

read other peoples blogs on this site, and talk to them ad in time you can also start helping them

well honey hope some of this helps.

Tiga

[Jeffery]

Hi Gnomemad, You are grieving a loss so be kind to yourself and do what you can to comfort yourself. I use 1 big calendar to keep track of day to day responsibilities and sometimes a visual picture of routines can help you. I also keep a journal in my purse to jog down thoughts as they come to me. Even though my brain is damaged in some areas from the meningitis, I firmly believe that other areas of the brain can be retrained to compensate for the damaged areas. That takes time and effort on your part. Everyone has their own talents and you are on a journey of discovery. You are young for this journey but please remember you are not alone and God has something much better in mind for you. Pray that you find out what that is. Best Wishes from Jeffery

[Tiga in reply to Jeffery]

Great comment Jeffery and yes you are so right, the brain is a very clever thing, the best computer in the world, thou like computers can go hay wire, but has ways of resetting it self, great note to her