Bm after effects

[Leila51]

My husband 72 at the time had BM in2020 he spent 3 weeks in icu and 2 weeks rehab, he has gone really short tempered this year, not like him, is it a side effect of not hearing in one ear?

[Nicolaram]

Sorry sorry to hear this Leila , I had BM at the age of 55, it affected my hearing, balance, fitness and my temper, I never use to be grumpy of bad tempered, sadly I am now .I am also unreasonable at times and am trying to control it .

I use to be a happy go lucky care free person, I am very thankful I haven’t had any more serious side affects though and survived to moan about them 😁

Best wishes

Nicola

[FFFred]

I had BM four years ago at 36. I am definitely more short tempered and definitely extremely irritable. I find that any loud noises push me over the edge. Also if I don’t get enough sleep or rest I turn into a bear. It’s been tough on my wife and kids but they are very supportive and we have been working on finding our new normal. Good luck, it should start to get better soon!

[Leila51 in reply to FFFred]

Thanks everyone

[clarck24]

Hello leila , my mom is in the icu right now for BM , she is 48 she is been there now for 15 days as for today , they took the sedation off 4 days ago and she is still unconscious , she haven't move or show any reaction , my life has been blocked for the whole duration now , not knowing if my mom will be okay or not, greif or stay hopeful , im really not sure ... , doctors not giving so much information as this is their first case of BM in our hospital , they said she is stable , she can breathe on her own and everything but we don't understand why is she unconscious we are waiting for the MRI scan to check with the brain , but please i need to hear from your experience .

[Leila51 in reply to clarck24]

My husband after taken off sedation slowly, he had seizures so was put back on sedation but no so much, he slowly came too, but must say he was responsive, he'd squeeze your hand and we put music on a radio, thankfully he recovered was deaf in one ear, but could have been a lot worse, try talking to your mum that's what I did, at least she is breathing by herself. It's a horrible thing to wait and watch. I do hope your mother gets better quickly.

[proudmamma]

Hi Leila, I'm so sorry your husband and your family had to go through this. My daughter had BM in 2020 also. She still suffers after effects, mainly around fatigue. Definitely her emotional runway is much shorter when she is tired. When she is tired she is short with us, speaks to us in a way that is not in her usual character. She now knows that this is when she needs quiet and complete rest. It varies how much rest she needs to return back to neutral but she is her usual self if she manages the fatigue. Wishing you and your husband all the best.

[maineknitter]

Hi Leila, I had BM in 2012. I was grumpy at the 2 year mark as the doctors had said that I would improve until then and then not much more after that. I was angry with the lack of improvement and didn’t have any good places to put the anger so it came out In maladaptive ways. Thankfully my family and friends stayed here and they were understanding when I was not understanding what I was going through.

I have continued to improve, just much slower pace than the doctor had expected. He’s actually placed my care under his assistant as he seems to do better with the more active cases. It’s okay, as I like the assistant better, but it was done without a discussion and so felt like being dropped like a hot potato.

Anyway, many of those of us who have had BM are left with less space in the meninges of the brain. They’re the shock absorbers that prevents all of us humans from getting concussions as easily. They’re also where headaches happen. With less space in the meninges, it’s like adding a few things to a cluttered room. That quickly makes it very messy and possibly a fire hazard, or a migraine/ headache happens. But in folks who don’t have scar tissue in the meninges, it’s like adding new things to a clear room and the effect is a small increase in the stress, but the person can handle it, so no fire hazard or migraines/ headaches happen.

I share the story about the slower healing process and the meninges and space for adding stuff to help show what maybe on the inside of your husband. If there’s any anger at the process versus expected results by this time, then that’s going to have to be weathered by the person and their people until they have a realization that they can still do x y z and have a good life doing that however it looks for them. I don’t have a perspective of what the timeline is for others but for me looking back it was a couple of years. I also did not have anyone else who knew what I was going through and how to help me. Your husband has you asking questions here and that’s good, and may reduce his time there. But he does need to go through the process himself. You can help him find resources or books about radical acceptance (that’s what helped me eventually), but he’s got to do the work of reading the books or whatever else is provided and then practicing the stuff in them. It took reading a lot of things and times to be able to do some of the stuff. Some of that’s because the concentration abilities decreased tremendously after the infection and I feel like I taught myself to read and write. Math is still something that I need to use a calculator for and have to think through if I’m doing it the right way, and I have gotten over being self conscious about that because it doesn’t help me or anyone else.

Anyway I hope this helps you some.

[menchild]

You best ask him. I had temporary loss of hearing, fatigue, constant headache, weird sensations in head and body. Sometimes anger is part of grief. I have had to face a loss of the life and health I had before BM. It was a trauma and I have had several counselling sessions that have helped. Look after yourself and keep lines of communication open between you with respect and honesty.