I have never written on a forum before but right now I feel I need to ‘talk’ to people who will understand . I had Bacterial meningitis admitted to hospital a month ago, two weeks of iv antibiotics and then discharged (by phone) with just being told ‘it will take time for you to feel well again’ no one prepared me for, or even seemed well informed about, the reality of how I now feel.
I naively thought after a month or 6 weeks I would feel ok but I feel no different now to 3 weeks ago and I am coming to the realisation that I may feel like this for some time and it’s very scary.
I feel permanently dizzy, woozy and unbalanced, with headaches and fatigue.
I have four children and I was working and studying before this happened and I feel so far from that life now. All I can manage is to potter around at home very slowly, sitting down and very still often. I can’t do the school run, I can’t drive because the movement of my head makes the dizziness worse and I feel terrible for a long time afterwards. I can’t walk far at all which depresses me as taking my dog for long walks was one of things I loved to do. I just feel stuck. And very lonely with it. My husband works long hours and I have my children to care for and I am trying my best but I am very scared these after effects won’t go and I will have to manage them somehow. There has been no improvement at all.
I then feel terribly guilty for writing this because I am so painfully aware that the outcomes are so much worse for some people and could have been so much worse for me. I should feel lucky. And I am grateful don’t get me wrong. But this has stopped me functioning and living my life and I don’t know where to go with the jumble of feelings and worries I have.
I appreciate now that it is ‘early days’ but it would be wonderful to hear from others who understand