It's been two years but the nightmare doesn't seem to come to an end.
It all started with on and off fever.It went on for a month and then i was diagnosed with typhoid. After spending two days in hospital, i got home feeling fine.The very next day,i got chicken pox...it became worse in a matter of hours.My symptoms progressed in the next few days.I was vomiting profusely...everytime i tried to move from my bed,i felt like i was pulled back...i kept falling down everytime i tried to stand or walk...my mom rushed me to hospital when i was not able to breathe. I felt perfectly fine if i lie down without moving my head...the second i move my head,i started vomiting.Doctors were not able to zero in on what's happening with me.
I had severe vertigo,104 degrees fever and doctors found out that my right leg was paralysed... i wasn't able to move my right leg.Fever didn't reduce for more than 10 days.Finally, they said i have viral meningitis coz of chicken pox virus.Slowly, my right hand's function slowed down.I looked like i was shrinking.I was jus getting worse day by day.I didn't let it get to my head,the only thought in my head was to get better and get home to my pup who was waiting for me to get home.
I heard doc say,if there isn't any improvement i will fall into coma anytime....By that time,i was so numb to feel any pain...i refused to take sleeping pills and pain killers.I didn't care what docs said,i jus knew i will be fine.After like 2 weeks,my health showed some improvement.But still i was speech impaired and unable to walk.
Slowly,vertigo reduced and i was able to move my leg.After almost a month,i got homr from hospital. I thought it's all over and i will back to my oldself.But things got worse.The virus affected my certal nervous system and cerebellum. I had unbelievable pain all over my body...it felt like my nerves were fighting with each other to get out of my body. It hurt like hell.It took me more than 6 months to walk normally. I was out of breathe after taking 10 steps.The pain didn't seem to stop..i wanted to chop off my hands and legs...i was not able to sleep due to the pain.I started losing my hope,that's when i started taking pain killers.I took pain killers whenever i was not able to control my urge to chop off my hands and legs.I was dealing with pain on one side and imbalance on another side.I was not able to focus on anything...i was confused all the time...i was stammering...i was not able to process what people spoke...all the words entered my mind in slow motion...loud noises made me anxious.I didn't understand what was happening to me.
My family didn't try to understand,they jus made it worse.My friends didn't visit me coz they were scared of getting sick.I was all alone,i wanted someone to understand and help me through it but noone did.I was interchanging words while i spoke,my family thought i was trying to be cute. They didn't understand the struggle i was going through.
I explained everything to my doctor,he jus told me to be happy that I'm not in a coma.He didn't think i will ever walk but i did.I understood i can never be who i was...i jus have to accept and live with who i am. That disease completely turned my life upside down.I was dealing with all the changes all by myself.
My body pain didn't reduce even after a year...i checked with a neurologist and foud that the sheath covering my nerves are damaged.There is no treatment for it,i jus have to take pain killers for the pain.I was blanking out often,i was not able to do my work properly...my brain will go fuzzy if 2 or more people talk at the same time.I was not able to understand when someone spoke to me...i couldn't reply.I didn't wanna explain my condition to everyone, so i started isolating myself from everyone. I was embarrassed when i couldn't get the words out of mouth to reply to people...it took sometime to respond. It was tough...slowly i started getting used to it.
Now, i don't have the pain.I can breathe properly...i don't space out often...my focus is better...I'm able to walk normally.But still I can do only one thing at a time...I'll completely forget what I'm doing if I'm interrupted.I'm tired all the time,I've gained more than 15kgs.Most of the time i don't know what I'm doing, I'm still not able to respond when I'm in a group.I'm not able to drive.I'm moody for no reason,i forget stuff.I still stammer sometimes...i can't continue a conversation for long coz i can't find words to use.My vocabulary has become short.Even if something good happens to me,I'm not able to feel happy coz it takes me time to understand what happened. By the time,i understand the moment is over.
My memory is bad,my brain is functioning slower,my body is tired.As if i don't have enough to deal with,i started vomiting blood.I have hiatus hernia and it got worse.Few months back,i stopped feeling sorry for myself and started living my life again.I'm trying to make friends and focus on my job.
I will never give up...i will live my life and enjoy it as much as i can.