Mum's death from meningococcal septicaemia

[LucieJayne]

I lost my Mum to Meningococcal Septicaemia without the presence of the meningitis bug back in January! I still can't understand how or why and am struggling to get my head round it! She died within 24 hours and there was no signs or symptoms in the previous days leading up to this! It makes no sense to me! She was only 58 and still had so much to live for, especially her grandson (my little boy)! Her and him had such a close bond as did I and we saw each other nearly everyday! He's only 6 and misses her terribly as do I and it breaks my heart to see him so sad as I as his mother should be able to make it better but there is nothing I can do! It's been 8 months now and it still feels like it only happened yesterday and hurts so much! I just don't know what to do!

[StrawberryCream]

Dear Luciejayne

I am so very sorry to her that your beloved mum died from meningococcal septicaemia. It really is incomprehensible as to why some of us despite the odds get to survive and others don't. It is a nasty and devastating illness. The type of meningitis that your mum had develops rapidly and without treatment can be a killer within hours which is why in the days before there were no signs of illness. The initial development of meningitis is often not recognised because the symptoms are similar to other non life threatening illnesses such as flu. Once it has got to be apparent that it is a far more serious illness the illness will have progressed to being life threatening and some do pull through but tragically some, like your Mum do not. For those of us who have been on the brink of death it can leave us with life long problems. I was also in my 50's when I contracted bacterial meningitis & septicaemia. Why do this things happen to us!

I am wondering if you have rung the Meningitis Now helpline at all. They have information that they can send you that may help you understand what happened, but also you can talk to them about what happened and the feelings you are struggling with now. It's ok if you are upset and crying. They also have other support services that might be helpful to you such as counselling, but also for your son to help him understand and come to terms with his loss of his grandmother. It may also help to share on here a little more of what happened when your mum was taken ill when you feel able to do so.

My thoughts are with you and your son X

[Schmooschmoo]

I'm sorry you have lost your mum and your sons grandmother. To loose someone to meningitis is scary and difficult. I understand because I lost my mum to pnemuniccocal meningitis this May. I too had a very close bond with my mum, she and I spoke daily and we saw each other at least four days per week. I have two daughters 2 and 3 now. My youngest was two months shy of two and had just started talking when mum left us. The story of your mum sounds similar to my mums so I can relate. My mum complained of an earache on Saturday evening, we went to visit a GP immediately, who diagnosed mum with an ear infection in both ears. He sent her home and she went to bed. when she vomited she thought nothing of it as the GP told her each aches can cause vomiting. I found my mum with locked in syndrome in the morning, she was on the floor. Despite immediate diagnoses in hospital, mum suffered an aneurysm as a complication 48 hours later and we were told to take her off life support. There is no reason why some people survive and others don't. Survivors are no more responsible for beating the disease than they are of contracting it in the first place. There is a four letter word that is sometimes the explanation, luck! I too have tried to find answers following muns death. Nothing will ever make sense. I have and do still struggle with guilt also. I wish I'd ignored the GP and just taken mum to hospital. Would she have survived then? I miss her a lot. It must be hard for your son, at his age he would understand the gravity of what has happened. I hope you can find strength in each other. X