just want someone to understand

[lorzs]

my baby contracted meningitis at 3 months old on my first mothers day in 2011, i nearly lost the most important person in my life but he's a little fighter. me and his dad are a stronger couple for going through the worst time in our lives together he was my rock, but now our son is getting so much better and reaching his milestones at his own pace etc crawling sitting up, i realise people dont get just how ill he was and how close we came to losing him,ive had people call him lazy and slow people talk down to me tell me i spoil him and i shouldnt. i just want people to understand when you come so close to losing your child you will make everyday happy and full of fun for them at whatever cost, someone who knows what we as a family are going though with regular check ups appointments and physio. not nod there head and pretend to even understand just a friend to talk to just someone who knows

[queeniefield]

Hello there my son had meningitis at three months and he is doing really well his speech is a bit slow but he has an older brother that talks for him so am not worried by it too much. We have been through that dark period of wondering how he will develop but he is two now and I feel confident that he is dveloping really well. I think that it is important that you feel confident in your own family unit and dont worry too much what other people think, you have your little boy and it sounds like he is doing really well. Other people judge mums all the time whether they have been poorly or not everybody is an expert on parenting!

[JohnFionaEllie]

I totally understand how you feel. Our little girl has had Pneumococcal Meningitis twice now and we nearly lost her twice. We have exactly the same outlook on our precious child as you do with your son. We treat every day with the outlook that we are so very grateful to just still have her here and we make every day special. People also look at us as if we spoil her and she gets what she wants - she DOESNT get everything she wants, maybe we do spoil her a tiny bit but after the trauma she has been through - and you know exactly the trauma - she deserves treats and deserves to have every day made special, whether its going out for the day...going on holiday....buying a teddy or a doll - or just having a cuddle and telling her we love her every day- we never know if the illness will return again and so we live life to the full and live life for today for you never know when it will be taken from you. The day she was taken ill on the 2nd time, she had spotted some little jelly bean shoes in a shop and I told her she couldnt have them. She cried. That night as she had fallen ill and as I lay next to her bed whilst she was fighting for her life, I wished I had let her have them. It all seemed so trivial now...one pair of shoes to make her smile. I prayed that I would get the chance for her to get them. For people to say your son is slow is a cruel and thoughtless comment and maybe they should go on one of the Meningitis Family days and meet other kids who have had it. I think they would be shocked to see so many children who laugh and play so wonderful but who have either lost their hearing, their limbs and even their sight due to this nasty illness. If those people have children themselves, they should stop and think for one minute and think exactly how would they feel if it were their child..I am so glad you and your husband are still together and are strong - you need eachother and your son will thrive on that strength. My heart goes out to you all and I pray that your little one makes good progress. We all dread the next check up at hospital, the smell of the place just brings back all the nightmares again and again. Ellie has developed a fear of needles - purely from this illness - and although she has regular blood tests, each one is a struggle and reduces us all to tears. My advice is to dismiss what ever anyone else thinks or says, focus on your precious little one and getting yourself over the trauma. one word of advice which I always say to people who comment on how we treat Ellie is to say "Maybe if you had nearly lost your child twice, you would feel the same" - it changes the conversation immediately. Love to you all xx

[lorzs in reply to JohnFionaEllie]

thats it 100% they dont understand and they dont know what to say when we reply with well imagine just the thought of losing your child and they say it would hurt like hell and we tell them now imagine your baby's heart rate dropping and his bp falling and every tiny little vain having a needle in it tubes everywhere and oxygen masks then your desperation as you beg and pray for them to take you and not your child, everytime we go to the hospital i can see it all remember every painfull second everytick of the clock and so what if my son wants a new duck or little teddy he's gonna get it because he's been to hell and back and come out smileing and giggleing he fought what has taken so many people he's not a spoilt child he dosen't have tantrums or hissyfits just if something makes him smile or laugh we get it for him because everyday he was ill i prayed for that smile and promised i would keep him smileing if he got better for mummy and daddy and i think like any other mum or dad we want our boy to be happy and know how much we love him because he is our world xx