My son is 18 has ADHD/ASD HE IS CURRENTLY AT COLLE... - Mencap

Mencap

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My son is 18 has ADHD/ASD HE IS CURRENTLY AT COLLEGE, I WANT HIM TO GO INTO SUPPORTED LIVING HOW DO I GO ABOUT IT

19622021
19622021

I really can't cope anymore my son and I are constantly arguing, he has no respect for me or my partner, he has stole money from me, done drugs is a compulsive liar, is manipulative, controlling, and quite honestly I can't take anymore, he says his mental health is to blame and that he has suicidal thoughts, yet when he's had therapy he says he hasn't. He says I don't understand anything about him, maybe I dont because he is so secretive.

I have given him everything he has ever wanted, I get no thanks, I clothe him feed him etc and it's just take take take, he goes to college in the morning and I don't see him till 9 at night ( before covid).

While in lockdown he goes out to meet his mates , I cant stop him, its for his mental health.

I just think he would be better on his own to sort himself out, I really can't do it any more its making me ill, I cry all the time, I'm tired, my nerves are on edge and I literally can't cope anymore

5 Replies

If your son is 18, he is classed as an adult even if he is still in education. Therefore I suggest you contact your local adult social care and ask for a needs assessment for both of you.

Hi, there will be a list of preferred providers on your local authorities website. Have a good look at what is available in your area, get your son on board with the idea. Ask adult social care for an assessment of his care and support needs. Ask for a carers assessment for yourself.

Sarah_Mencap
Sarah_MencapAdministrator

Hello

I am so sorry to hear this. This must be a very difficult time.

Does your son have a learning disability? If he does, please call our helpline so that you can talk to one of our advisors about this. You can email them on helpline@mencap.org.uk or call 0808 808 1111. They also have a short online form here - mencap.org.uk/contact/conta...

If your son is feeling suicidal he can contact the Samaritans. There are lots of way he can get in touch with them ( 116 123) . Here is a link to their website - samaritans.org/

The Samaritans are also there for you if you need to talk to someone. This could be really helpful if you are find it hard to cope.

It is also really important that his GP knows how he is feeling. You say he has had therapy before, so it sounds as if the GP must be involved. Please do go back to them again.

Have you been in touch with Mind at all? They are a charity at can help with mental health. They may be able to offer local support for your son, and for you. Here is link to their website - mind.org.uk/

Mind also have some help for people in your position - where you are supporting someone with a mental health problem here - mind.org.uk/information-sup...

Please let us know how you get on.

Best wishes

Sarah

Thankyou so much 🤞

Social Services my dear

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