Terrible worry about hair loss

[217086]

My son is 26, he has a mild learning disability. He is semi-independent i.e. he has a job in a kitchen and has his own bank account etc. but is vulnerable. He is losing his hair quite fast and is very obsessed and distressed about this. He has been buying lots of products but not surprisingly nothing works in the way he hopes. It’s obvious he is going to be bald on top fairly soon like his grandfather and uncle. He has been talking about hair transplants and we have been trying to persuade him this is really not a good idea because of the cost, the risks of it going wrong or not working, and because it won’t solve the problem or make him feel better, certainly not without masses of further operations, and at tremendous expense. But he has now told us he has agreed to a procedure being done by a clinic in Harley Street and has paid half the money up front. The operation will cost everything he has got saved, quite apart from the pain, ugliness, recovery time, risk of scarring, not solving the problem etc etc. Does anyone have experience of this or ideas of how to get help to talk through with him all the things he can’t foresee, partly because it’s hard for him, and also because he is so upset and desperate for a solution? There are some videos on YouTube which may help but I am really struggling to find a way to make him think again and hopefully realise that the only way to be happy is through acceptance. Any ideas or experience much appreciated! Thanks!

[Cornish-Dad]

I cannot really help you apart from showing my sympathy for your, and your son's, predicament.

I hope that you are able to come to a suitable solution.

Best wishes

Cornish Dad

[crazysquirrel Moderator]

Hello. A hair transplant is a very drastic solution so I can understand your concern. Are there any actors he likes that have very little hair. Perhaps Jason Statham or the Rock?

It sounds like it all comes down to confidence, but that is very easy for me to say with a full head of hair. Are there any other ways to make him feel better about his appearance?

Do you know if your son has talked to his GP about this? they may not be able to help wiht the baldness, but they should be aware of his mental anguish about it.

Perhaps at the end of the day you may just have to support him with the surgery. If he is able to make decisions he is also free to make ones you think are bad. Financially it will hit him hard, bit if he really wants it then he can just do it.

If is absolutely fixed on it then perhaps you coudl help make sure he has done his research. Eg a good doctor and that he understands the risks and how long it will take to recover.

You do have my sympathy. All children, with and without LD, can make decisions you don't like.

Best of luck talking to him again.

[Harry_mencap in reply to crazysquirrel]

Hi as you mentioned your son has a mild Learning Disability. I'm Harry I work at Mencap and I've got a LD. As you mentioned he has be very careful department store or shops can con vulnerable people just to get money for profit. If I was your son I would look at other options and maybe visit your GP for information and advice. Please also look our Treat Me Well campaign as we're getting Doctors, Nurses and other NHS professional's to make reasonable adjustments. Any problems feel free to let me know.

[CommunitySupport]

HI, you mentioned that your son has a mild learning disability, do you feel he has been able to make an informed choice, regarding the expensive and painful procedure? If not perhaps could have a word with the clinic. Also maybe you could show him some good examples men with no hair. Hope all goes well.

[217086 in reply to CommunitySupport]

Many thanks for the responses, all thoughtful and supportive and much appreciated. I will try to update with what develops and what we learn, in case it helps others, meanwhile thanks again for the ideas and thoughts.

[CALLADINE]

I can really sympathise with your situation, my daughter has LD and autism, with possible personality disorder. I am at my wits end to stop her buying inappropriate things, she has even signed for contracts that she does not understand, and I have had to pay for numerous outstanding bills she owed. Despite all my efforts she promises she will not sign anything without me seeing it first, but (I believe to impress her friends) she continues to buy things that she doesn't need and cant really afford. If anyone has any advice it will be very gratefully accepted.

Hope you manage to resolve your sons problem. Kind regards