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[LCAdmin]

[Tily]

How has being diagnosed & coping with Lymphoma impacted your relationships with people. Mainly your spouse. Do you find yourself less tolerant of things than you were before?

[ARo2012 in reply to Tily]

Hi Tily -

Your tolerance question is such a good one, and I think it's a mixed one too. I found myself more tolerant in some ways - I needed to let go of certain issues or problems because they paled in comparison to where I needed to focus my efforts. But I also found there were other things I didn't want to waste my time talking or thinking about, and I would be impatient to move on.

Working through a cancer diagnosis with your spouse is one of the hardest parts of coping. I know I hated that I had added this weight and burden to our lives, and yet I knew I needed the help and support to get through it. I had crazy mood swings, and I know I was difficult to live with at times. I find cancer brings everything in your life into sharper focus - some things (and people) matter more, things that frustrate seem even more challenging, and things that didn't matter seemed to fall away.

I found writing down what I was feeling - either in a journal or a blog - helped me to process it and figure out whether it was something I needed to solve or just an emotion I needed to process. I also found meeting other patients (whether in person or online) and talking to them was such a relief - they really understood what I was going through.

Hang in there! It is so overwhelming at first, but it does get easier.

~ Alyssa

[Tily in reply to ARo2012]

Hi Alyssa,

Thank you for taking the time to respond to this. Honestly, in a way it made me feel better because now I know I am not the only one that is experiencing mood swings. I had some before, but now it is worse.

It's funny that you mentioned writing how you are feeling down. That is an exercise my counsellor gave me & I really didn't like it. Maybe because it got to the point where it felt like a chore.

You're right about certain things not being as important as they once were, and others seem to have become enormous.

Teressa

[BernardTardif in reply to Tily]

It tooks many months (at least 6) to receive a clear diagnostic of Follicular Lymphoma. At that time, in the beginning of july 2013, I get married with my girl friend with whom I was in relation since 5 years. I thought things could not go better for me. Afterall, I felt I was in the best situation possible to cope with that cancer, accompanied by my lover. But only 3 weeks later, my girlfriend wanted to divorce. This was between chemotherapy I and II of an R-CHOP protocol. I had to find a new place to live in a such dramatic context. In my couple, cancer extirpated the worst. For my wife, everything becomes an example illustrating the lack of attention I could have for her.

Altough these evenements were tough to live, I focused on my real problem, cancer. I am now in a situation of total remission. Really, we can't presume what will be good or bad for us, untill we live the situation. ---sorry for my poor english expression--.

Bernard