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being assertive !

here goes ............. Irecently told my boss that i find it hard when theres meetings after work as i start feeling ill if i do long days.

Then last week , she said ; we need to have a planning meeting on tuesday ok ; I couldnt believe this, after what i told her, but was stunned so i said ok.

Later , i said could i come in later so that i could come to the after work meeting without having a really long day. She said yes but now cant do tuesday so wants me to go to her house for a meeting between 7 -9.

I am starting to resent attending these every 2 wks cause i find it a hard enough struggle just doing my 24 hrs a week !

I decided to lay it on the line and sent her a private message saying that i rarely have the energy as it is to pop out in the eve as it is, so if i can i dont want to spend this time at meetings.

I said that the only solution is to plan these meetings after work , when we are fully staffed, so that i can come in later!

She hasnt replied ...............

I just feel that i am push enough already and i dont want work to take up any more time,as you know we only have so many spoons!

I feel that i need to put my health as a priority and need to say no and be assertive, any opinions !!!!????

4 Replies

I agree with you totally 9-5 is hard enough yet we do it instead of going off sick. As your boss hasn't replied I would take the issue to her in the most professional way maybe compromise with alternate meetings or conference call it. I did this it worked for me if all else fails and you feel you need another job try to find one first then mention disability she will soon appreciate what you do.


Hello Larissa.

I think that the law requires her to make "reasonable adjustments" to enable you to work. Whether a meeting in the evening is reasonable is open to question, especially if you have already done your contracted hours.

Stick to your guns on this - we all know how hard it can be to do extra long days and still function afterwards.

Good Luck!


It is hard isn't it working and juggling feeling crap.

I think a meeting in the evening especially that late is totally unreasonable, I would never ask my staff and my husband would never ask his staff to stay to a meeting that late, all meetings are conducted within our staffs contracted hours.

I run my own small business and I am struggling with that and my mild lupus, today is just one of those days, I am lucky enough that I can say oh sod it and turn the pc off and do something else, because I have a member of staff in the office that deals with the day to day customers. I woke up feeling crap and am trying to work and entertain my 2 year old when al i really want to do is sit on the sofa and veg. But i have so much to get done as I did that friday :)

I hope you can sort it



Perhaps check what your employment contract says about hours and overtime too.

You have already highlighted to her the issues that affect you and she has to make reasonable adjustment even if originally contractual. Keep a record of when you raise these issues and what is said (my brain is like a sieve and I forget details) and don't allow her to ignore it even though it might make you feel uncomfortable raising it. She will otherwise think she can go on doing it. Fortnightly evening meetings sound a very strange way to either run a business or expect her employees to attend. I am sure the partners of the other employees will soon start to kick up. She may not have a home life but most other people do and I suspect this would be considered unreasonable by the majority of healthy people!! She is certainly meant to consult with you if she wishes to introduce any change to your expected working pattern and before doing so. ACAS have a very useful website with lots of guidance and a telephone helpline too where they can give advice about such matters. They are very friendly and their number is Tel 08457 474747 Good luck and hugs.


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