I just saw the above which is rather worrying and I’ve just been talking about it with the microwave and toaster and we all agreed that things are getting worse. 😫 I didn’t mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything, certainly not to the fridge as he’s acting cool and distant.
In the end the iron straightened me out as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing. The vacuum just said ‘it sucks’, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion but said nothing. However the door knob told me to get a grip!😬
The front door announced that I was unhinged 😳 and so the curtains told me to ... yes, you guessed it ... pull myself together!😉
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Spotty-ewe
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Brilliant, very funny. Does us all a load of good. Well done. Worry, even if valid, won't do us any good and only make us worse internally, so it's definitely counter productive to our health. Got to focus on outcomes and solutions somehow, and a determination not to be beaten by anything. HU is undoubtedly a good medium to share potential solutions/experience and help each other. T
Thanks Tony. I can’t take the credit for most of the text which appeared on another HU site, but I cobbled it with the picture my sister sent me for a bit of fun. Glad you enjoyed it. 👍🏻 We all need a bit of laughter - the best medicine. 😂😂 Best wishes and keep safe Tony. 🤗
I have consulted MY furniture, in light of YOUR comments.... Unfortunately my Table felt 'Put Upon'😄, my Grill had a 'Heat Of The Moment' idea😋, My Doorbell just 'Rang The Changes'😁, mind you, my Torch did, at least, 'Put Some Light, On Things'😊..... Unfortunately my TV just didn't seem, to grasp, 'The Whole Picture', and my Radio told me to 'Go To Reception' (Sorry😝) and to cap it all, my Armchair told me to 'Sit Tight'...…
Brilliant, by the way Spotty-ewe, perhaps we could ALL try to add to this List.... I had a look at, my widows but.... 'I Could See Straight Through Them'😏. So I consulted my Computer- this was it's response '**£££%%ghJK<?56^_+ghJK,i@'ld$$!!!£'. After much searching, of the Internet, I found that this Meant 'I Don't Bl--dy Know Either'!
We will, just have to, 'go back' to your Aliens.... Talking of that... Two men are sitting in a Flying Saucer, one is Smoking a pipe (this was a few years back), the other is Doing a Crossword, whilst drinking a cup of tea. After a time one says, to the other, "So what do YOU think Earth people 'Look Like' then Bert?
Finally I spoke to The Fountain but, it's response was 'Rather Wet'....🙄
Thank for this, very good, idea Spotty-ewe. Hope you are 'Holding up' OK
Since I live in Essex, I think that I can 'get away', with this one....
An Essex Girl walks into a library and says, Very Loudly, "Cod, and Chips, Twice Please Mate". The Librarian comes over and explains, to the girl, that she Is In A Library. "Sorry!" whispers the girl then, very quietly "A cod and chips twice, please".😄
Since I have 'Blond', or actually 'Tan', hair..... There is a Blond girl, sitting in a Rowing Boat, in the middle of a field. Another Blond calls over "It's people, like YOU, that give 'Us Blonds' a Bad Name" "Well why don't You come over and 'sort me out then'" replies the girl defiantly. "Well I would" replies the second "but I can't Swim"....🤦♂️
What is 'Long, Thin, has a 'Prick' on the end and Comes with a Quiver'? Are you Thinking 'Rude' thoughts? Well you are WRONG... it's an arrow!😁
What is 'Long And Thin, Covered In Skin, Red In Parts And Goes In Tarts?' Actually that's Rhubarb!...….
The Essex girl isn’t the same one that was involved in a car accident is she? A paramedic approached the car and saw she was covered in blood. He asked, ”Where are you bleeding from?” She replied, “I’m from bleedin’ Essex, where are you bleedin’ from?”😂😂
As far as blondes go, I’ll quote Dolly Parton who said, “I know blondes aren’t dumb, and I know I’m not blonde!”🤷♀️
Thanks for the humour Andrew. 👍🏻👍🏻 Any more to keep us cheered up? Keep it coming. 🤗
You know, when I first read your witty post, and Andrew’s reply as well, I sat for awhile and thought, and thought, and thought. After all you two came up with I have to admit ‘I got nothing’. My furnishings stand mute and in awe.
Ha, ha, will do. Right now, they are completely ‘mum’s the word.’ All my doors are closed to me, my windows are completely shut. Even Alexa’s not speaking to me right now🤷🏻♀️
😂😂 Love it. Thanks Stiff. My sofa’s very laid back about it all, while the wood burner said, “There’s no smoke without fire!” It’s getting very noisy in here with them all speaking at once! 🤣🤣
I thought I’d see what the garden had to say about this discussion. The lawn agreed that green shoots of optimism are good but the mower said that won’t cut it it, mate. The spade said he didn’t dig it either, the shed thought people should keep it all inside and then we were all interrupted by a slightly hysterical greenhouse screaming, what about ME, I’m sure I’ve got a TEMPERATURE!
Thank you for making me laugh out loud in trying circumstances, I live alone with my cat and have always talked to her but yesterday I started to tell my shower off for going cold on me but it didn't say anything funny back just continued to misbehave, I find that laugyt is the best medicine as they say though could always do with some actual medicine and compasion and being listened to and taken seriously by drs, your post really cheered me up so thanks for that catblue
It has been fun reading the responses too and hope your naughty shower stops smirking at you and behaves from now on! 😂
The medical profession are stretched to the limit at present so thank goodness we can turn to each other for compassion and understanding. 👍🏻👍🏻 Wish we could provide some real medicine for each other too.
I started, to talk to 'Dolly'- no Not the sheep- my dog, but she is such a Bitch😊. The Cat isn't much help either, he said that he 'Just Couldn't Get 'To GRIPS' With AnyThing'😬, the Fish is just in it's own 'Bubble', whist The Hamster and Guinea Pig are just getting 'Ratty'🙄.
I decided, since my 'Belongings' haven't been much help, I contacted the local SCHOOL to see if they had 'Assembled' any plans. I spoke to the Teacher, over the Phone- she was Self Isolating too- she said she had 'No Ideas' at all.... but, at least the Experience would 'Teach Us All A Lesson🤦♂️'. She also said she was having trouble with her eyes, specifically 'With Her Pupils'😋.
So I spoke to the local Leisure Centre..... Gym said that 'I should Weight a bit, before (bench)Pressing on....😏. The Swimming Pool was, as usual, just rather 'Wet' about the whole thing (and someone's Done the 'water joke' before!). The local Convenience Shop, that is Licenced to sell alcohol, is keeping everybody's 'Spirits Up'. The local Park, is shut, so I couldn't 'Swing' by there😝- or even🙊 (at least I didn't🤢 or 🤮).
Finally an actually 'Funny', if slightly rude, one.... A couple have had a Blazing Argument and, in rage, the Husband had 'stormed' "...and your No Good, in bed, either..". By mid-morning, the man, is feeling rather guilty, regarding his comment and- rather contritely- phones home. The mans wife takes, a fair time, to answer the phone- and when she does, it's rather Breathlessly. "Sorry about what, I said, this morning 'baby'... I didn't mean it..." splutters the man. "Oh don't worry about 'all that'" replies his wife "your Brother has already 'Proved you wrong'"🤗.
I found a 'Strange' plant, growing over my fence, last year. Not knowing what it was, I took a piece of leaf, part of a stem and a little of a flower- and carefully packaged, it all up. I sent, the package, to the Council asking if they could 'Identify' it for me. After 'several' phone calls, two Emails and three letters they replied.... that 'What I Had Was, In Fact, A TREE'😤 (apparently, this is, 'steam from face').
Anyway, as Porky Pig would say, 'Th, th, th, that's All Folks'
Thank you for your Compliment, about my humour, I do 'Try'..... A few more, I can think of, maybe a 'Tad' off subject....
Two Cannibals eating a Clown one, turns to the other, and says "does this taste 'Funny', to you😄'". Two Cannibals eating dinner, one says "I hate your wife's Guts", to which the other replies "Well leave them on the side, of the Plate then"🙄. Two lionesses, walking through the Serengeti, when a Land Rover drives past. "Oh look" says one "meals on wheels"😛. One from the Children's Collection.... 'What goes Ha, Ha Plonk'.... a man 'Laughing His Head Off'🤤 (Drooling face apparently, I couldn't find a Nose Picking one).
Finally a Very 'Mean' one.... Someone said to me "Do you like Children" to which, I replied "Well, so long as there are enough, ONIONS...…."☹
Just a 'thought' but.... Is it 'Paranoia' if everyone, Really Is, against you? Do you know the First Sign of madness? I'll tell you it's 'Hairs On The Back Of Your Hand'.... the second sign is 'Looking For Them' (hands up, all those who looked😂)
I know, it is, Broooksidecourt but.... it Still 'Gets' People😁. Rather like the 'Maggot' joke- 'what's worse than finding a Maggot, in a Apple? You, know, Finding HALF a maggot🤢.
Noah told, That One, to his wife too. Apparently she was 'Responsible' for The 'Waters'.... Naamah his wife, (looked it up) said, something like 'I can't see a Damn Thing, in here Noah..... Kick On The 'Floods', will you?"😎 (sunglasses, due to high light, naturally)
Another 'Oldie But Goodie' is.... What's the Definition of mixed feelings? Watching you Mother-In-Law, drive off a cliff, in your new Rolls Royce.😋
Another one is... The Three, somewhat Old Ladies, on their way to Wembley. One says "Is it Wembley?" "No" says the second "It's Thursday", to which the third replies "Yes, so am I" 🙉.
Why is a Single Story home called a Bungalow? Because they 'Bung A Low' Roof on it 😃(actually it is an Indian word, from the days of The Raj.)
So, as one Dinosaur said other, 'There Is Nothing Wrong With The Old Ones'.😏
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To elf isolate or not
Worried that this is a \"flare\"
Why do I feel so isolated and alone
Worried 
