Working or Not : I was wondering if anyone had to... - LUPUS UK

LUPUS UK

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Working or Not

Olderkitten profile image
20 Replies

I was wondering if anyone had to leave their career behind? I had no choice, I had to retire because I couldn't remember what people said or concentrate on what I was doing. I was so tired all the time.

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Olderkitten profile image
Olderkitten
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20 Replies
Lupiknits profile image
Lupiknits

Yes, I did. My colleagues were jealous because they wanted out!

Seriously though, when you retire early, rather than planning and working towards it, it takes longer to adjust. Suddenly I felt unimportant because my career had been part of my identity.

If you are the outgoing type and can manage, there are lots of things to do. I’m neither. I was fortunate to have the opportunity to have the time to return to my knitting. I’ve learned lots of new techniques via YouTube and when my brain is dead just do the mindless stuff that requires no counting but does take my mind away from pain.

As you adjust, you may find things you can do within your means.

I do hope you can get through the sudden adjustment.

Spotty-ewe profile image
Spotty-ewe in reply to Lupiknits

I know how you felt Lupi as I too had to give up work (teaching) at only 48 years old. 🤦‍♀️I missed the children but not the paperwork! 😂 However I didn’t have time to think about it too much as we’d recently moved to the south of Scotland from the Highlands and I became my mother’s carer until she died 3 years later. It was then I felt the huge hole in my life.😭 I joined Bannatynes Health Club and that made an enormous difference to me especially when hubby was still working at sea being away from home for 3 - 4 weeks at a time. Now hubby is retired too life has improved but still my crafts and this forum keep me going. 🥰

Hoping you find lots to fill your time too Olderkitten. Treat it as an opportunity to try new things. Best wishes 💕

Olderkitten profile image
Olderkitten in reply to Spotty-ewe

Thank you so much. My mom passed away years before I was diagnosed and we moved to Texas for my Husband's career so I had no family support. Im trying to find things to occupy time. I used to read constantly but now I can't concentrate so it's just frustrating.

Lupiknits profile image
Lupiknits in reply to Olderkitten

Have you tried audiobooks? I find I can wind back to the last bit I could remember before my concentration took a lunch break .

Olderkitten profile image
Olderkitten in reply to Lupiknits

I never thought about doing that, Thanks for the help!

Spotty-ewe profile image
Spotty-ewe in reply to Olderkitten

Are you into any arts or crafts OKitten ? I find them relaxing, theraputic and rewarding giving me a great sense of satisfaction when I have finished them (well usually unless I made a hash of it!). They are especially enjoyable with some favourite background music or as Lupi suggested an audiobook. I also enjoy writing, and writing your memoir can also be cathartic and theraputic and is of great interest to family members and close friends.

To get out of the house perhaps you could join a local club either health and fitness (like our Bannatynes here) or something that interests you or that you’d like to learn. It is a great way of meeting like-minded people and making friends. Then there is always voluntary work and the best thing about that is if you have a bad day nobody is going to be upset if you can’t make it that day or even that week.

Give it a try and if you don’t enjoy one activity try something else. Let us know how you get on. 🤗😘Spotty💕

Olderkitten profile image
Olderkitten in reply to Spotty-ewe

Thank you so much for your ideas, I appreciate everyone's input. Part of my problem is it's very painful to walk, I think I might have a blood clot in my right leg. The pain is intense so I have an appointment with PCP in the morning and I'm pretty sure I'll have to get a scan to see what's going on. I don't like feeling like this.

Spotty-ewe profile image
Spotty-ewe in reply to Olderkitten

The very best of luck with your appointment. I hope you are feeling better soon. Let us know how you get on. Take care.🤗😘

Olderkitten profile image
Olderkitten in reply to Lupiknits

Thank you, I totally felt out of place staying home. All my friends were at work and living their lives and I am just a lump. We do keep in touch and go out to dinner occasionally but I miss the everyday familiarity. I was in the medical field and enjoyed it most of the time.

Oshgosh profile image
Oshgosh

I know about he memory thing.

When I finished work I used to read a book and have no memory of what I had read.

It’s marginally better,but still have to write everything down,make lists

Olderkitten profile image
Olderkitten in reply to Oshgosh

Constant lists

Pinky1go profile image
Pinky1go

While I didn't work full time, I had to leave my part time job almost 2 years ago. I worked in a fabric and wool shop, was finding I just couldn't lift the rolls of material, stand all morning, etc. I would hardly know how to get back to my car to drive home. I am 62, and have found it difficult since losing my salery. I am one of the Waspi's and have to wait until 66 for my pension. I don't receive any benefits, this has added a great deal of worry which doesn't help my condition.

I can't afford to do many of the things that would help.

Spotty-ewe profile image
Spotty-ewe in reply to Pinky1go

Being a fellow Waspi I know exactly how you feel Pinky. I’m 64 but like you will not get my pension until I’m 66. Rise in pension age was done far too quickly and I feel should have been raised to 61 & left for a minimum of 5 years before raising it to 62, another 5 years before raising it to 63 and so on. But never mind, we are stuck with it. But I have found my crafts help take my mind off of things and they don’t have to cost the earth. I recycle favourite clothes I can no longer wear and make toys, patchwork etc from them as I displayed on a post several weeks ago. I also buy wool when I see it on offer, or in charity shops, for my knitting and crochet projects. Although I don’t sell the craft items I make they do make wonderful gifts appreciated all the more because I made them so they can save me money and give me a lot of pleasure. 🥰 Give it a go. Take care. 🤗😘

Olderkitten profile image
Olderkitten in reply to Pinky1go

Are there any senior citizen groups or get togethers where they talk and play games and movies or even a day trip. Ask your doctor for information about it.

tiredmum profile image
tiredmum

I had to give up work when I was 29, I have sle and Hughes and at the time had a suspected stroke. It took 10 years of being so poorly before I was diagnosed. I am a lot better now I am on the right medication but still suffer terribly with brain fog, painful body, severe exhaustion, tremors, nausea, need a wheelchair out of the house and have regular flare ups where I need help to get to the toilet.

I tried having hobbies but most days I am content with the radio being on. I tried reading but can never remember what I have read, sewing but my hands spasm too much, baking just haven’t got the energy ( and I need to watch my cholesterol haha) I watch a couple of hours of tv but I feel so exhausted and brain dead that I just sit and vegetate and don’t get bored.

thekeys46 profile image
thekeys46

I had to retire early from a career I had been in for 32 years. It was my reason for getting up in the morning.

I struggled for 3 years but then discovered a love for decoupage. I set up a small business and supplied a small gift shop. This gave me a renewed interest in life.

A year ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My crafting has helped me throughout as it stops me from thinking about things. I also recently started renting out a Seafront flat we own through Airbnb. My husband is really good and if I’m not up to changing beds etc he will do it.

cathie profile image
cathie

I had to give up an academic research career. It feels unresolved, but I was able to help some asylum seekers by acting as an expert witness for them. I took a few part time art classes at the local college of art and am now in the final stages of an online art degree. Its been pressured, but opened up a lot of things for me. And given structure to my time. I think there's a lot of online audio resources if you find reading is difficult, I hope they help. But if you can, getting out and meeting people - without expectations - is a good thing.

CecilyParsley profile image
CecilyParsley

Yes I did and it caused me significant distress. It defined me and when I lost my career I was floundering and desperately unhappy and lost my identity too.It is not an easy road, you go through a period of adjustment, well I did anyway, but life can be worthwhile.Like you I was a prolific reader and suddenly I had to re read everything as I would forget what I had read as soon as I put down the book. After ten years I am slowly starting to read again and it is better. I have no idea why but I am grateful. Good luck with everything xx

lupette profile image
lupette

I remember . . shortly before I left my job . . I was sitting in my bosses office and she was talking to me but I couldn't hear what she was saying. No matter how hard I tried to focus on her words, I just couldn't hear her. I could see her mouth moving and I could her the sounds, but I couldn't hear the words or the meaning of them. I had to quit. There was no other option. I think it was stress related and I haven't been that bad often since. Anyway, in answer to your question, YES!!!

Treetop33 profile image
Treetop33

I still work but my career has definitely been affected by it. I can't work full-time, and have to work remotely at home. I do writing, so fortunately it just about works, but it's not big bucks. I sometimes wistfully look at a really great job that would properly engage my brain were it not for the fact I can't do it, but I try not to long for things I can't have. I figure my body is telling me to slow down and I can't do anything but obey.

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