Any advice would be really appreciated - LUPUS UK

LUPUS UK

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Any advice would be really appreciated

EveryDayHappiness profile image

Hello,

I was diagnosed with lupus around 2 years ago. I usually manage my symptoms with my lifestyle and support from family and friends. Recently I have been feeling very anxious and low. I attend counselling for my anxiety and on and off depression. Unfortunately my low mood has continued for a few weeks now. I have an amazing partner who is so supportive. However I am worried how lupus and mental health state affects him. Does anyone have any advice or tips on how to manage anxiety and depression with lupus. Or have any similar situations with dealing with anxiety and depression whilst in a relationship.

Thank you!

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EveryDayHappiness
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5 Replies
whisperit profile image
whisperit

Hello EveryDayHappiness

Can you say what kind of counselling/support you are having at the moment? Is there anything you've found helpful or unhelpful to date? It might be you would do better with a different approach? x

thestorm profile image
thestorm

Hi EDH, Well, your user name speaks for itself. And the fact that you have a supportive partner, that in it self is a wonderful blessing!!!!!. I too have these waves of highs and lows, they seem to come from nowhere,lasting from days to months at a time. Personally, I have found that lupus flare ups are lurking by when the mood is different. Knowing your body and sensing that change gives you the opportunity to manage threw it better. Being honest with your partner when you know you are not "right as rain", by giving them a heads up helps too. I just say, I am having difficulty today, and my mind over matter is on the glitch, so I need to take some time off and reset myself, tell your partner, you can help by understanding, and let me rest. This is just a sample of conversation. Then you go do something that distracts your mood, be it visiting here in the hub, spending time with animals is a great mood lifter,😊😊 seeing a child you know, reading, going for a walk, try something different, help others!!! really does change your outlook, as it fills your heart with joy! The lupus Encyclopedia by Donald E. Thomas, Jr. M>D> Is my very highly recommended book to buy. It truly is my lupus Bible, containing a very good guide for you and your family. It is oAmazonon, look it up. Everything you want to know or understand is in there. Talk to your Dr, tell them how you feel, ask them to please listen, write the symptoms down, everytime you notice them, Anxiety, and depression are very hard hills to climb, and many of us here experience them often. I hope this helps a bit, keep posting, let us know how you are doing, stay positive, know you are not alone, Praying for you, sending peace, blessings thestorm

maggielee profile image
maggielee

Hi EDH It is quite a challenge & know that your not alone in your feelings & that they can be caused by our various illnesses in addition to hormones, pressure, stress, etc. Do speak to your doctor, it helped me to admit I was struggling & actual take time off to feel abit better...

I have trained with some amazing people as part of my path to be a better me before I got sick.... There are good teachers out there both spiritual & holestic... I like learning from others directly as oppose to reading etc. (Mind you you tube has expanded going to meet them). So Ibmade it a point to find folks that clicked with me & to learn from them abit about peace of mind & harmony & that's has helped my family around me & sharing it with them.

I take a lot of blame on, when some things are outside my control, often recognising that can help...being a peaceful you, makes others feel it...

Hubbies are our closest people in our lives & I find they don't open up, so it is hard to say how to help them...maybe back to simple things....kindness & compassion towards them (will try it today myself & see how I fare).... as my sister just tragically lost hers very recently, I realise life can be short & time can be precious with them...Often I been finding getting mine opposite me having a undistracted tea at a cafe helps to open discussions ....

ML

Happy43 profile image
Happy43

Hi EveryDayHappiness I'm sorry you are finding things difficult at the moment. I don't know if it will help but I wanted to share my experience with you as I've been through 18 months of debilitating anxiety. Due to the increasing symptoms of UCTD and the nature of my job things became overwhelming and I had a breakdown last year. I was off sick for 5 months and finally left my job as I could no longer do it (long hours, working outdoors in Summer). I spent 12 months in a petrified state of worry, panicking at every new symptom and thinking the worst about my long term health. My partner was so supportive and listened every time i got scared, cried and generally talked about nothing else apart from what was happening to me. My GP wanted me to take antidepressants but I opted for CBT counselling instead, best thing i ever did. It has taken 2 rounds but I finally have a much better understanding of anxiety and how it is affecting me and also how to cope with it. I was shown relaxation techniques and learned how to engage in activities that would lighten my mood and distract me. All this and an overhaul of my diet has made a massive improvement and I feel more able to live with the anxiety instead of feeling like it is controlling me. I did make sure that I thanked my partner regularly for his patience and tolerance and encouraged him to pursue activities that he enjoyed so that he had some time away from me aswell! I did ask my counsellor about medication towards the end as I was having mostly good days but still bad periods and she advised me that if my low mood continued for around a month to perhaps consider it but this has not happened. I hope this has helped a bit.

Best wishes 😊

Chanpreet_Walia profile image
Chanpreet_WaliaLUPUS UK

Hi EveryDayHappiness,

You have received some great advice on here so far :). We published a blog article on lupus and relationships which you may find helpful to read at lupusuk.org.uk/lupus-and-re...

It is possible that some treatments for lupus such as prednisolone (steroids) could trigger or exacerbate depression and/or anxiety.

We published a blog article on ‘coping with depression and anxiety’ which you may like to read at lupusuk.org.uk/coping-with-...

Sometimes certain situations can be tough which is why talking to someone can help reduce any worries or anxiety you may have. If you would like someone to speak to, I can provide you with LUPUS UK contacts who you can chat with over the telephone. These contacts are volunteers who mostly have lupus themselves; they are not medically trained but are there to offer support and understanding. If you would like a contact to speak to, you can email me at chanpreet@lupusuk.org.uk

or send me a private message with your name and area of residence.

Best wishes!

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