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OK, I'm now in week 6 of flare up...

No advice needed, I just need somewhere where I can share my thoughts and not be thought of as absolutely bonkers.

In all honesty, I'm not happy at all, it's beginning to affect my mood and I feel exhausted all the time, after doing absolutely NOTHING! This is nuts.

Last week Wednesday ...

I've seen my rheumatologist and he wants me to sit this out to see if it settles or is the new me and requires a change of meds. It's OK for him, he doesn't have to exist feeling rubbish on a daily basis. I get the feeling I'm a guinea pig and he's waiting to see how things pan out. Are the symptoms the same, is there more or has the flare up settled on it's own. Great for him, but like I've said it's rubbish for me. Next step methotrexate. Oh how I'm looking forward to that! Diagnosis is still unclear, I have symptoms from lupus, rheumatoid arthritis and psoriatic arthritis. I can have one or a couple, it's a wait and see game.

Yesterday, late afternoon...

I saw my GP again yesterday afternoon. I'm still not on top form, work will have to wait a little while longer before they are blessed with my presence. Oral steroids didn't work in week 2, so we tried an injection.

This morning...

Work up this morning, with the same old feeling of I need more sleep. How much more sleep could I possibly require? I feel knackered and knees, elbows, wrist and hands are throbbing (typed this using thumb). Pain killers here I come.

Another day of not knowing what to expect. Am I going to manage to do some homework? Would I be able to cook the dinner? Am I going to be able to take my kids out? or is it another day of them being stuck at home with a mum that's fast asleep again or too drugged up to drive anywhere.

This isn't living. I need to get this under control or ideally to go away (wishful thinking). I just want to feel normal again, no aches or pains or tiredness.

I am worn out...

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5 Replies

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  • A hug from me, you poor thing! My sympathies x

  • Uggh. Between August 1st of last year and March 20th this year (yes, I was counting off every ghastly, dragging, day), I was spending 12 hours a day in bed, and the other 12 in my armchair, staring out of the window, with no real understanding of why, or of whether it would ever get better. It was utterly depressing, frustrating, and infuriating. "This is not living", I thought.

    So you are definitely not bonkers. You are reacting in a completely normal way to a totally crappy situation. (unless it's both of us, and we are both bonkers, of course).

    Lots of virtual hugs and good wishes X

  • Aaw Nicole,

    My heart goes out to you. My only saving grace is that all my children are grown up now. If it's any consolation, none of them really remember mummy being poorly.

    Sending you massive, gentle hugs.

    C xx

  • Thanks everyone for your kind words.

    Update...

    I got out of bed, had my meds (rule number one, if I want to get through the day, tablets are top of the list), had breakfast, got showered and dressed. Managed to tidy our sitting room and kitchen without needing to sit down. Went for a walk to the shops with my youngest daughter (only 5 mins. walk from our house). Walked back home, had lunch and hung out the washing. These may seem as minuscule tasks to the untrained eye. But to someone with an autoimmune flareup (I might be wrong but...) this is a great achievement 🏆.

    I am now completely knackered. Now I didn't climb Mount Everest, but it feels like I did, I will have to go lie down as there is no way I can make it through the afternoon/evening.

    Time to sleep 😴

  • Wow! That's amazing - it really makes you feel so much better when you have these little triumphs. 👍👍👍👏👏👏👏

    Now next step is to learn to pace yourself! ( This is the pot calling the kettle dirty bum ) I find that I always overdo it and never learn..

    Take great care chick 😙

    Charlie xx

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