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Bravely ordered incontinence pads today

GP had thought I might have a bladder infection but truth is I've had incontinence problems for a very very long time now; since I was a child actually. I took a lot of blame-and-shame for it, but I've been rather horrified at how bad it's become in the past month. Since I'm tired of smelling faintly of wee all day, I've ordered some starter pads to get used to wearing them. I'm not at all pleased, and I will have to figure out how to speak to my partner about it, but does anyone have some incontinence tips: do I need to carry pads and wipes around? I've got a bathroom access key now too for public restrooms. Any thoughts on hydration? I've been finding I drink water and have to use the loo immediately so I subconsciously realise I gave trained myself not to drink water - I'm going to have to work on that as I am regularly so dehydrated nurses hunt to find my veins.

Tips, tricks, and a hand-hold welcome; I'm only 43, ugh.

5 Replies

Silver gilt, I can almost see you holding you head down in shame. Join the club. I have had this problem since hysterectomy in 1988 and it is nuisance. If it's ok by you, may I ask if you spoken to an incontinence nurse? You can even phone one without going through a GP. There are lots of pelvic floor exercises and other methods but I bit the bullet and saw a GP . A SPecialist can help but whilst waiting for appointments try Tenna lady pads. They come in different strengths and sizes, same as STs or the Tenna Lady pants.

My doctor told me there are pills, too, but it may be better to seek help from a clinic. As you are young I hope this problem is resolved for you. I don't want to suggest a diagnosis, but see a urologist, and get professional help. Chin up, this too will pass. :)


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Dimpled's reply is great!

Your version of this sounds chronic & complex. But perhaps my story could have something in it that might be useful.

about 7 years ago, I managed to virtually put a stop to my persistent trend towards this prob via my gp referring me to our local nhs gyn physios for full on pelvic floor exercises training...I've not been able to bear children due to DES birth defects, and I THOUGHT the pilates I'd been doing for over 10 years at that point, had my pelvic floor as strong as it could be at my age (having had early menopause) but I was wrong! My gyn physio was wonderful and as a result of her intensive training, I'm still doing ongoing concentrated pelvic floor exercises at least every other day for say 5-10 min and my leaks have virtually stopped altogether: PHEW

V much feeling for you, but I do agree with dimpled: take heart, you & the right drs can figure out what's causing your version of this, AND once you do, you really should be able to receive treatment that can effectively minimise this sort of thing

There are other tricks that I routinely practice for my secondary sicca syndrome/sjogrens symptoms down there, which help hydrate the tissues of my undercarriage making them stay fitter and stronger so they can function better which helps stop my version of the stuff you're posting about. I get these on repeat prescription:

Replens every 3 days

Bidet bathing in Emulsiderm solution after showering

Never wash there with soap

(My gp & gyn tried me on vagifem etc, but any topical oestrogens give me rashes)

Yes, freshness does mean making a point of knowing where good ladies loos can be found, and carrying a pack of flushable moist toilet tissues & spare pads & even spare panties...when I'm feeling less well generally than usual, my version of this can be troublesome, but prior planning makes all the diff to both my confidence & all the dealing with this stuff

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I appreciate your replies, thanks. Truth is I've been so beaten down by year's of being told I am just attention seeking/just seeking drugs I only go to my GAp when things are absolutely desperate. Otherwise I just deal with it myself; I can't cope with any more abuse.

I've ordered some menstrual pads and I'll carry stuff around in my purse. But Im won't bother trying for a referral, that rarely gets me anywhere, still, some good ideas for the time being, so thank you very much.


You sound as if you have in the past suffered the Lupus run-around! Unless our symptoms scream Lupus to doctors and blood tests are all positive for one thing or another, many Lupus sufferers have many different diagnosis over months or years. Please,please, don't give up getting proper medical attention because of poor medics' response to you. If your surgery has more than one doc see a different one than usual. I promise you will find one.

However, it is very important that you get help for your leakage worries.

If you have seen the ads on TV there is an 0800 number to ring but you really should get hold of an incontinence nurse or similar.

I am an ex trained nurse and feel I need to stress the importance of seeking a reason for your problem. Please don't accept this as just an inconvenience. I know doctors may not have helped much in the past but I am 72 with lots of other issues, you are too young to 'put up' with this problem.

Good luck



I use Tena Wet wipes when home or out as they have a re seal on the packet. Great for wiping out the smell factor and use around top of legs too. x

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