Body said no to work but it didn't stop the guilt

Friday my alarm went off then I rode the snooze button until 30 mins before I had to be at work.

I then tried to gather as much strengths and energy to do that mad dash to get washed dressed and out of the door.

I had been feeling out of sorts for a few days now (Tired, stiff irritable) and was hoping to ride it out until the weekend when I could have a lie in and perhaps pamper myself a bit.

My face has completely broken out in massive smokes (Not sure what medication has brought that on)

Bright red rashes have also decided to appear over my hands and legs

As I tried to get out of the bed a shooting pain went through my elbow.

Upon closer inspection my elbow was locked at a 90 degree angle and I couldn’t straighten it out!

Now absolutely fed up I thought F##K IT

Grabbed my phone and texted my boss to tell him I wouldn’t be coming in to day.

Then I got really worried and started going through all the tasks I had to do today and who would be inconvenienced if I didn’t go in.

Then I started to formulate a plan to get up sort myself out and get to lunch by Wednesday

Seriously that wasn’t happening

3 Replies

  • Hi being there done that I used to feel guilty that I was not pulling my wheight at work getting paranoid thinking that my colleagues were talking about me, when projects were delayed so I pulled myself to work in middle of a flare and landed my self in hospital with my son husbands worried faces looking at me. That's the moment when I said enough is enough. Spending time getting better and trying to have a better quality of life is better than killing myself at a firm where if I was gone there is always someone to replace me. I can't say the same for my husband and my son.

    Luppychick x

  • I really do take my hat off to you all having to get to work. Luckily I work for my husbands company from home. I just cannot imagine having to hold down a job. Sometimes I feel so tearful when in pain and flaring I just couldn't do it.

    Think you do remarkably well. So hard to make people understand this illness. Including friends, think half the time they think I'm making it up!

    Be kind to yourself, hope you feel better soon.

    Jo x

  • I have been diagnosed with Lupus recently and for the last two years I have worked at home. Having spent my career travelling thousands of miles a year and holding very senior positions I too am pleased to be working at home. There are days when I just don't know how I would get myself out of the house to get to an office for 8am! Also the tears & the way this illness makes you feel at times.

    I admire all of you in the way you are continuing with your lives. I do completely agree that I just wish friends and family could understand. My husband is completely wonderful & I couldn't cope without him!

    Sally x

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