Free Yourself From Fear: Coping with ... - LUpus Patients Un...

LUpus Patients Understanding and Support

3,413 members1,254 posts

Free Yourself From Fear: Coping with the Coronavirus, COVID-19. Day 4

lupus-support1 profile image
lupus-support1Administrator
0 Replies

Photo by Fusion Medical Animation on Unsplash

A colleague, Dr Naomi Baum, has written a free booklet, which I will present here, with her permission. It is a 7 day journey, which I will present over the next 7 days. Her website: naomibaum.com

WHAT YOU WILL NEED

Before getting started, I recommend that you get a notebook that will accompany you as you read this book and do the exercises. Any size notebook will work. I personally favour notebooks with nice covers, but that is up to you. This notebook will be your Journal. Keep it near you, as you read this book, so that you can do the exercises that require writing and track your progress.

HOW THIS WORKS

The is written as a seven-day journey. That means that each day covers a different topic. You can work through the book in one week, choosing one exercise from each chapter. However, many of you may prefer to take it more slowly. In order to do that, you may turn each day into a full week, and spend some time over the week doing the exercises, trying out some new behaviours, and reflecting on what worked for you and what did not. There is often more than one exercise suggested. Feel free to experiment. Be forewarned. Not every suggestion here will work for every person. Each one of you is different. Find what works for you.

This course, written by Naomi Baum, uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or CBT.

There are many other forms of psychotherapy, such as psychoanalytic psychotherapy, which is the talking therapy. There is no "one-size-fits-all".

DAY 4: THINKING ABOUT FEARS

Fears at a time like this, with the outbreak of the Coronavirus worldwide is both normal and expected. Many of us have gone through some scary and difficult times in the past, but the Coronavirus is something new, something we have never experienced before. As a matter of fact, it is something the world has never experienced before. The uncertainty about our personal future, and how all of this will affect our day to day lives is unknown. We may feel very anxious and panicky. That would not be unusual. This affects our mood, our feelings and our behaviour. Merely thinking that I may get Coronavirus, or that someone dear to me may get it increases my anxiety.

Thoughts directly affect our emotions and our behaviour. If thoughts are so powerful, why not put them to work for us?

That is exactly what Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) does in the therapy room and beyond. Therapists who have trained in CBT help their clients examine their thoughts, their feelings and their behaviours. Once the troublesome thoughts are identified, the next step is to try to modify them. That is what we will experiment with now.

In Chapter 3, we identified fears that each one of us has. Go back to your list and choose one or two of your fears as the subject for the next exercise.

I have chosen four different ways that you can try to modify your thoughts. Since each person is unique, and not all methods will work for everyone, I suggest that you read through the four exercises and choose the one that appeals to you the most. Follow the instructions for that activity. See how you feel when you have completed it. If it has helped you, that is wonderful. If the exercise does not seem to help, do not despair, but rather try a different one.

The four exercises are:

1. Worry time

2. Challenging and Perspective

3. Flooding

4. Accept your Fears

EXERCISE 1: WORRY TIME

One relatively simple way of working with your fears and worries is by setting up a special time during the day to think about them. This is your "worry time."

1. Make an appointment with your worries and fears. Set up a ten minute block of time to worry each day. Try it for a week. Pick the same time each day for your "worry time."

2. Anytime a worry comes up during the day, jot it down, put it in your pocket or purse and save it for "worry time."

3. When worry time comes, take out your list. You can choose whether to think about your worries or to read them aloud to yourself. Talking to yourself and actually putting your fears into words can be very helpful because it moves them out of your head. This may feel strange at first, but give it a try. What do you have to lose?

4. Keep a record of your experiences with this exercise. Each day, after thinking about your worries, or reciting them out loud, spend a minute or two reflecting on the experience and writing about it in your Journal.

EXERCISE 2: CHALLENGING AND PERSPECTIVE

Challenging your worries and fears is an excellent method for dealing with them. Here is an example of how it works:

Pick the fear that you wish to work on.

Is your fear fact or opinion?

For example, I start to cough. My first thought is,

"Oh no! Coronavirus. I may die."

Then I say to myself, "Whoa. Slow down there, girl!" and I ask myself, "Is this fact or opinion?"

The answer is obvious. It is my opinion, and I currently have no facts to back that up.

What's the bigger picture?

So now, I ask myself, "What's the bigger picture?"

Well, the bigger picture is that yes, Coronavirus is around, and quite infectious. It is also true that as far as we know, approximately 2-3% die from it, similar to mortality from the flu. Am I having other symptoms that might indicate the virus? Do I have a fever? Do I have shortness of breath? I do not think so, but I am not sure.

At this point, I notice how I am feeling. My heart is beating a little quickly. I am feeling a bit sweaty.

Is there another way of looking at it?

Are there other possibilities here? Is it possible that I am just getting a cold? Is it likely that if it is in fact the beginning of the virus, I will probably get through it just fine.

What would someone else make of it?

It is often helpful to think about a particular person who you respect, and imagine what they would think about that thought, what meaning they would give it, and how they would react to it.

What advice would I give someone else in the same situation?

Moving yourself from the patient to the helper can move you out of the loop of your worry and fear, and help you gain perspective on the situation.

Of course, if your symptoms continue, you should go to your health care provider and check them out. Research has shown that people with greater fears tend to avoid medical tests and procedures. For example, women with early stage breast cancer and high levels of fear often do not go for regular mammograms and breast exams, thus pushing off early detection and treatment at a less pervasive stage. Helping you to deal with your fears can help you access medical providers in a saner and more rational fashion.

Now it is your turn!

1. Open your notebook. Write down you fear. Now answer the following questions, challenging your fear.

* Is this fear (thought) a fact or an opinion?

* Is there another way of looking at this fear?

* What would someone else make of this?

* What advice would you give to someone in this situation? What evidence is there that this fear/thought is true? What is the bigger picture?

* What is an alternative explanation that could work?

2. Now, reflect upon this experience. Write in your Journal what this exercise was like for you.

3. Try this exercise at least two or three times over the next few days.

EXERCISE 3: FLOODING

Robert Leahy, author of "The Worry Cure", suggests a technique known as flooding. Say you are worried that the world economy will take a nose dive, you will lose your job, have to eat into your savings, and give up your house and your current life style. While all this may in fact be true, it is more likely a sign of your catastrophizing. Now, take that worry and say it to yourself aloud 200 times. Say, "Maybe I will lose all my money and be out on the streets (substitute the correct word for you: metastases, or whatever else fits) slowly, out loud and pay attention to your thoughts. The first fifty times may make you more worried and anxious, but usually after fifty times this is just downright boring, and according to Leahy, the worry dissipates or subsides.

Now try it yourself.

1. Choose a worry.

2. Put the worry in words. Preferably, this should be a short sentence. For example, "I am worried that I will lose all my money."

3. Say the sentence aloud, 200 (yes 200!) times.

4. Notice your thoughts as you say this worry aloud.

5. Check in with yourself after you finish the 200th time. How are you feeling?

6. Reflect about this exercise in your Journal.

EXERCISE 4: ACCEPTING YOUR FEARS

Making peace with your fears and understanding that they are normal reactions to the current situation will go a long way to reducing your worry. Your fears will not go away completely, but by making your peace with them, you will begin to see them for what they are, symptoms of anxiety, rather than signs or omens of the future. Rather than fighting with your fears, or trying to stop them, changing your relationship to them can be helpful.

For example, the next time a fear pops its ugly head, you can say, "Oh there you are, again. I was wondering when you would return." Naming your fear, giving it a silly nickname and greeting it by this nickname, may help you learn to live with your fear side by side and in relative peace. This may be the best way to go, after all.

Now, give it a try.

1. Start by naming your fear. If possible, give it a nickname. (For example: the Big C)

2. Prepare a few sentences of greeting for your fear. Some suggestions:

-Hi there (Big C)! I was wondering when I'd see you again.

-Welcome back (Big C). Nice to see you again. Now that I have acknowledged you, you can leave.

See what creative or funny sentences you can come up with.

3. Each time your fear pops up, greet it with the nickname you have chosen.

4. At the end of the day spend a few minutes reflecting on this exercise and write your reflections in your Journal.

HOMEWORK Remember to choose at least one exercise to try. Record in your Journal how it went. Do you feel the exercise was helpful? If yes, why was it helpful? If not, why not? Feel free to try more than one exercise, or revisit the exercise you liked, again and again.

Written by
lupus-support1 profile image
lupus-support1
Administrator
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...

You may also like...

CNS Lupus & Noise Sensitivity

'episode', but my dad tries his best to understand. One time, it was Christmas day in fact, when it...