Lupus and joys of dating??? Overly sensitive??

Weird question.... do you feel that after the 10th time of justifying or reasoning why you cant attend the party/function/marathon due to having or being in a flare from your chronic illness you almost become defiant and apologetic at the same time about said illness...

I realised this was my reaction when a dating prospect had asked quite recently and innocently I suspect, did my illness cause my divorce and would it intefere in with new romantic physical encounters often? No to the first question and possibly on occasion for the 2nd but in all honesty I have no idea anymore and when that is a "getting to know you question" I was taken aback slightly. I work fulltime, raise two gorgeous kids and try to manage my health as best I can but how would I answer that? when it becomes a blunt dealbreaker type question. Perhaps I am too sensitive now after a lifetime of defending my lupus affected body without playing the pity card. Smiling through the tough days and managing the box load of meds. But I also dont want to pretend I dont have it just for someone elses happiness.

Dating is tough at the best of times.... throw this in the loop and boy a whole new circus. Thoughts or similar experiences??

[lupus-support1 Administrator]

Your question is one of the most important questions one can ask.

Briefly: you are not being too sensitive or over-sensitive. What you are experiencing is the way in which people can't deal with someone having a chronic disease. It says more about them than you, but you end up feeling what is dumped onto you!

I would like to talk more about this with you!

With good wishes,

Ros

[Hidden in reply to lupus-support1]

Thanks Ros,

It certainly wasn't a line of questioning I was expecting from this guy and sure we are only at the getting to know you stage but I already feel like its an imposition and if a flare was to come on he would bolt out the door without looking back. I understand some people dont want to deal with our life battles but I guess I already know his priorities 😊😊😊

Thanks again!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh and I wanted to clarify at no stage during our dating have I had to cancel plans or been unwell. Had mentioned the illness basically because he saw my box of medicines.

[Hidden]

Further update; the date didnt get past number 2 haha.

[lupus-support1 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

His loss, not yours!

[Hidden in reply to lupus-support1]

😁

[lupus-support1 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

I hope you really are OK.

[Hidden in reply to lupus-support1]

Thankyou for caring. Yes I am fine. Honestly I have realised that actually regardless of my illness I am still pretty awesome and life will work out fine. I don't need a date to make me feel like crap because of any limitations possibly could occur. You were so right. His loss!! Really appreciate your kind thoughts. X

[lupus-support1 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Your pretty amazing and any man who doesn't see you as awesome means he is not and you can do better and find someone who appreciated YOU for who YOU are!

Any time you need a chat, let me know!

With good wishes,

Ros