My dad 💔

[Lisam81]

I spoke too soon on my previous update. Things went so well yesterday and we were moving towards systemic cancer treatment and last radiation today. He was so happy yesterday coming off breathing tube and looking forward to getting on with today. This morning we received a call that my dad went into cardiac arrest at 5:10 am. They did cpr and light paddle use and were able to get a pulse 5 minutes later. We got to the hospital 20 min later around 5:30 am and he is on liquid life support and the breathing machine again. I have spent all day with him. He is unresponsive to me and having Myoclonus episodes one right after the other. They did a brain MRI and CT which showed no areas of damage and they are running a 24 hour EEG that ends at 5 pm tomorrow to assess brain activity. They want to give it a few days and then we will need to make decision to end life support if he doesn’t come out of this. I started this fight with my dad on 2/28/18, it has been one heck of a fight, he gave it his all and I told him I will be with him until the very end. I started this fight with him and I will end this fight with him right to the very end. It is taking every fiber of my being to hold it together. I haven’t processed any of this yet and I feel numb and blank. My dad is the strongest man I know. His radiation oncologist and neurologist said he fought a heroic fight and they are amazed at his strength. My dad taught me woodworking when I was younger. We still did woodworking together. The last project I worked on with my dad was several beautiful wooden crosses. I have them to hold onto, though it doesn’t ease the pain. A girl will ALWAYS need her dad. I am thankful I could fight with him and for him every step of the way. He has amazed me beyond words. 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 I told him I will be okay - truth is I won’t be but I won’t tell him that.

[Ncpoet]

Oh, no, I am so sorry to hear this. My heart breaks for you. I wish I could hug you for your dad. Your father has been a terrific role model for you and those who continue to fight cancer and it’s after effects. My mother passed away last year after a terrible stroke. She could not talk but I was able to hold her hand for several weeks and talk to her. She was my anchor and it was hard to let her go. I pray that things might turn around but if that does not happen, I pray for peace for you, knowing you have done everything possible for your dad.

Judy

[SusieJo1948]

Lisa I"m so sorry he definitely fought hard and you did too. You were with him all the way and he knows even if you don't think he does that you and your Love for him are right beside him. Please let us know you mean a lot to me I think of you as a daughter. Don' let him suffer anymore. Let him be at peace. I'm here if you need me. Love susiejo

[janiceowens1957]

I am so sorry. I have sent prayers up this morning for you and him. You have been very faithful with being by his side every step of the way. Please keep us updated.

[Feelingblessed2013]

I am so sorry to read this, my heart is breaking. I wish I could take your pain away.

[ThePurplePlace]

Oh no ...! My heart aches for you and you will both continue to be in my prayers. 💔 Praying for comfort and Peace.

[judg69]

Lisa, it is never easy letting a loved one pass on, but sometimes it is best for all. Only wisdom I can provide now is that in the current situation when, and if, the time comes for your Dad to pass on, you will know. Hard to explain , but you will just know. All my love to both you and your Dad and prayers for inner peace, judg69

[verolove]

I'm so sorry for your lost. I'm sure he fought through it all but I'm sure he is now resting and pain free.

[litoreggie]

You sound just like me and my Dad and he was diagnosed almost the same time. It’s so great that you have a special bond. My heart breaks for you and I am going through the same thing. Sending you lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

[Yogamama72]

My heart goes out to you, I will keep in my prayers.

[ronnie1943]

Dear Lisa,....I'm so very sorry to hear about your Dad, my heart aches for you.....I share your pain... Your dad fought this fight with all he had and having you right there by his side meant everything to him!! I'm praying for you and your Dad.

Love, Lynn

[GMC1]

Lisa,

I have no words to express that would give you comfort. You have to have faith it is his time, if that time is near. From what I have heard, at the right time you have to let him go and express those loving thoughts to him that you will be ok for him. Hold his hand a lot. I think that is Hospice teaching.

If you lose him, stay on here and grieve with people who have walked this path with you and before you. I am sure it will help to talk your feeling out and might help others. I think this is one place you can let your hair down and no one will care. I already know your anger, etc. just let it out. At times like this there are so many "what ifs" that run thru your mind. Just say it until you get it out. With no judgement from anyone.

More than likely down the road there will be many others that will seek your help and advise. Take care of your mom.

Love you

Gloria

[scifiknitter Blogger]

Lisa,

You have been wonderful with your dad - getting up to speed with the science of lung cancer, and advocating for the best treatments for him. You could not have done more, or better. Sending best hopes for comfort for him.

Anita

[anrean]

Lisa, I am so very sorry to hear of this last update. Please know you and your dad are in my prayers and thoughts.

I know this is a terrible time, but may I make a suggestion that went well with my grandma - when the end came and she was holding on, I did what a therapist recommended and told her it was okay to let go now. I promised her that I would look after everyone and that we would be okay. She passed within a few hours of hearing that.

Of course, I am praying that your dad does not need to hear this and that he will somehow come out of this, but he has fought an excellent fight. There is no daughter stronger than you. You have gone so far above what anyone else would do!! You are a true inspiration for the rest of us!!

I am sorry to nat have answered sooner - my computer went through an update and things went to pot. Now that I know how to work around it, I will check often to hear from you.

Please stay strong. I know you think you won't be okay if things take another turn for the worse, but we are all here to help you through everything!!

With great admiration and sincerity,

Lauri-Anne Anrean

[Ncpoet]

Lisa, just wanted you to know I continue to think of you and your dad and am praying for your family. I know things are difficult for you right now, but I am here whenever you feel like writing again.

Judy

[litoreggie]

And they are both ground hog day babies! Wow.

[OrangeSki]

Lisa,

You have your Daddy's strength. It's there...you might not feel it or see it anytime soon, but its there and yes, you WILL BE OK.

Sending big hugs and prayers,

Breezi💖