I am so emotional with this anxiety, it's destroyed all my fun side and turned me into an unable to cope with anxiety person. I really don't know why I can't get a hold of it again.
Jjb1983
Hello jjb1983
Sorry to be reading how you are feeling even though I can relate a lot at the moment because my anxiety is in full blown mode and has been weeks so much so I dread getting up and I wake up in the night feeling it to and you do feel all the things you mention as well as wondering how you are going to carry on but you know you do , somehow , someway you keep going even if some days you feel you are dragging yourself about
How do you cope , now that is a good one
I don't feel I cope sometimes not at all , having a good cry and letting i all out helps sometimes , talking about it even though like you I try not to bother people if they have their own problems or not because I have found through my experience they soon get fed up of hearing it but maybe writing it down helps
Distracting yourself as much as you can , not easy when as much as you are doing something your mind still carries on but you find a way
I have come across something what is called a fidget cube , you can Google them , mine will be here tomorrow they are only small and fit in your hand and they have like a spinning thing on them , flicking thing and a few more bits and the idea is you have it in your hand and keep playing with it and they say they help people with anxiety , ocd etc as well as children to distract them , they have good write up's on Amazon so thought worth a go !
So I shall be fidgeting away soon
As for your job , if it is getting to much will you starve without the money coming in , I am sure the answer is no , if you had any other illness one you could see and others could see and understand more would you feel guilty because you could not work , I expect the answer is no , so if you have to give up work at the moment because your mind is poorly and needs time to get better why should you feel guilty ?
It seems we who suffer with anxiety struggle just as much when we feel this guilt as someone that does not understand anxiety may wonder why we are not fit to work , because it all comes down to you cannot see it but we all know how debilitating it is so if that is what has to be then you have no need at all to feel guilty
Your so sweet and caring, it is an up hill struggle because if we don't sleep good it sets our day to be quite a struggle to start with, then all the other symptoms that come with it.
It's so sad we suffer like this.
I don't know how no one has a cure for this with the amount of amazing things they can do now.
You explain it so well.
My kids have some of them somewhere and I've never thought of it, but il be looking for them tomorrow.
It is a struggle, and I have decided as much as I don't want to give up my job it has to be done 1 I'm not happy there in that setting and 2 it's not helping my anxiety it's making it worse.
I hope your fidget cube cubes some if not all of your anxiety.
I've started a journal see if it helps.
I done one 9 year ago.
Do you journal?
Thank you lulu1 we will both work through our anxiety.
So glad you kids already have a fidget cube , I have only just come across them , I would find one out and give it a go , I am not thinking they will cure us but could take the edge of a little bit when it is so intense , worth a go
I think we know what we need to do sometimes and what is best for us and once we break past that silly guilt barrier we seem to have by doing what is best for us does help so I think giving up the job sounds like this will benefit you and like I said had you any other illness you would give up work till you were better this is no different and I will remind you been a Mum can be a full time job so you are already doing one job
I have had many attempts doing journals I start of good and then I start forgetting to fill them in , happens every time but these posts we do can be like a journal we can look back on our posts and think , I was panicking just as bad 2 months ago and then things improved etc
Hope you feel slightly better than when you first posted x
I looked can't find them shock they will have lost them no doubt.
I think your right lulu1,
I don't feel as guilty now they have someone else lined up for the job so it makes me feel better.
I don't feel like I am a good mam my eldest 18 has moved in with her nana my son 14 lives with his dad but stays at mine 3 nights a week although is starting to get less,
My youngest lives with me she's 9 but because I don't take them anywhere I feel bad, i took her to see some reindeer last night as it's close by my home. Didn't stay long I'm just starting to do small things.
Sounds like the job situation is getting sorted , one less thing to worry about
Now you are a good Mum just because they choose to live somewhere else does not make you a bad Mum , anxiety again playing up giving you other thoughts to drag you down
I have severe ocd as well as a thousand other things or that is what it feels like and my two girls could not wait to get out they moved in with their Dad at 15 & 16 , was a bad Mum no , I did my upmost but as they said the ocd drove them mad and had they stopped any longer they would have ended up like me and would a Mum want that for their Children , no of course not so if it helped them then a good Mum let's them go
Now my Son who is from my second marriage is 24 now and he is still here , but he is a totally different personality to the girls , he is the one that works with the disabled , he does not want to go any where at the moment , am I any different from what I was with the girls no , is he different in the way he copes living me to what the girls were yes !
So get those thoughts out your head , have you always tried your best ? if the answer is yes which I feel it will be then don't let anxiety take you down another road of a guilt trip to keep you down because it will
I am not feeling much better , I got my fidget cube I am quite liking it I think , I also got my hair done and I am thinking about going to the Doctors at the end of the week
Hope you have the best day you can minus the anxiety and guilt it seems to be dragging up , you are stronger than you realise x
Hi Jjb! I'm so glad to read that you are going for counseling soon. I know the waiting is the hardest part! Because of logistics I had to wait 2.5 months to start and then after I started, I began to search out books on cognitive behavioral therapy ( I have more time on my hands now) and I wish I had sought them out sooner because I discovered that CBT is not some complicated thing that you can't attempt to start on your own, even before you see your therapist. I also found that reading about the physiology behind anxiety helped to put me at ease. I'm someone who needs a concrete explanation about a diagnosis before I truly believe it, maybe you are like that too?☺️ I just couldn't believe how chronic anxiety can do this to a person because I've had tons of stress in the past and it never gave me physical symptoms until now. I had my first panic attack in a park and thought I was going crazy. A quick respite I learned was to stop what I was doing and just breathe out for 4 seconds, pause 2 seconds, breathe in for 4, pause for 2, and repeat and do this for a few minutes and just focus on your breathing. I also learned about "grounding" to an object to get yourself out of your own head. Later I got into the habit of challenging my fearful thoughts. Really stop and consider the evidence for and against my fearful thoughts. One time I could feel my anxiety escalating into a panic attack while sitting by myself at the airport in the crowded gate area waiting for my flight, feeling like the room was full of hostile people. I remembered to breathe, and that helped me refocus, and then I looked around and thought "what if all these people here were my good friends? Would I be feeling like this? Why do I think that nobody would help me if I passed out this second? I know I would help if the situation was reversed, so why wouldn't these people? I bet 10 people would come to my aid! And someone would call 911 if I were truly in danger" And at once I could feel myself relaxing again, even starting to smile on the inside. Or sometimes just reminding yourself that it's anxiety that is responsible for your feelings /physical symptoms at the moment will prevent you from reacting and dwelling on your anxious thoughts. Just observe them, accept them, and let them float by. Or think of what you would tell a friend experiencing anxiety or a physical symptom they are worried about and then tell it to yourself. There are so many tools we can use in the moment but the trick is to practice those tools on your good days so that when you need it you will recall what to do. The first is to just focus on slowing down your breath. I am not trying to make it sound easy -it's not. They are simple tools to use, but NOT easy. I am confident that once you learn how to use them, alongside your sessions with your therapist, that you will feel alot better. I still have some bad moments, but I now feel good on most days. I wish you all the best!😊
Thank you so much for this response it is lovely to hear you have got yourself to such a place you know how to handle it.
It shows me I can do this again.
You have given me some useful tips i have already been waiting like 17 weeks for counselling the list is so long.
I've started journaling again but weighing up how I feel to how likely things will happen.
And I have some books from Claire Weekes too what books do you have?
Now I've finished my job I will have some spare time to be able to practise and read them.
I suppose I am like that I need to know exactly this is what I have. I have health anxiety when im like this probably a touch of each different anxiety that is out there.
I have started avoiding a lot of things which I really starting to impact how I feel emotionally. It makes me question if I will get better without meds.
I don't want to use meds as I've had them before and I was a nervous wreck until around 13 weeks after I started them.
Do you take meds?
You are so brave getting on that plane after you felt like that I would of just escaped or it would have escalated to a panic attack that would go on for hours.
My sister has recently been diagnosed with leuikemia about 10 weeks ago when we first found out I had to rush her to hospital where I panicked the whole time driving her there by the time we got there I had to leave her and my mam there as my panic attack was just staying with me.
I felt so guilty and felt really bad and selfish. I drove home and run out of fuel about 20 mins away from home, my partner came for me. I phoned an ambulance as I'd taken a 2mg valium but didn't do anything at all.
I thought something was up as it just wasn't shifting.
My panic attack lasted like 4 hours. The ambulance checked me over and I was fine.
Came back in the house went to bed then at 6am the next day same again so i took myself to hospital they done tests again everything they checked came back normal, I ended up back in a few more times they done bloods ECG and x ray came back fine.
Hi Jjb. First thing I have to admit is that I got treatment for my anxiety relatively early (it started in June of this year). I declined meds because I wanted to try therapy first. And my anxiety revolved around a very specific situation that has since passed. Sounds like you have had a number of stressors in your life and it's bringing all your anxiety back. I agree with Lulu let your kids do what they need to. The upside is you'll have more alone time to sort your anxiety out. Books I've read are The Fear Cure by Rankin, Overcoming Anxiety (can't remember the author), Freedom from Nervous Suffering by Weekes, and websites Anxiety No More and Anxiety BC (BC=British Columbia). I like Fear Cure because it makes you think about your fears and the author's premise is that false fear (the fear we create as a result of our thoughts) can be a good thing if you let it point you to areas of your life that require work. For example for me, my false fear is to become disabled because I fear ending up alone and unable to care for myself and being socially isolated and no one to advocate for me when I'm old. This fear stems from the fact that I don't have children, and have a long time partner that I am on the fence about. My false fear is telling me that I need to form more social connections, especially with young people who could look out for me when I'm no longer able to. If I may point something out in what you said...you ran out of gas 20 miles from home. That's got to be a confidence depleter and has likely left you very anxious that it could happen again! But ask yourself how did that happen? Could you perhaps practice being more diligent about making sure you have enough gas in the car before you head home from wherever you've been that day? Is a false fear of not being "prepared" scaring you and depleting your confidence in venturing out? I don't mean to play therapist here I am certainly not qualified, but your running out of gas far from home really struck me. One of my other false fears is that I'm a terrible communicator, so I never feel like I've been fully understood by others (co-workers, authority figures, DOCTORS) so I'm left feeling anxious that maybe the doc misdiagnosed me because I didn't communicate my symptoms properly and then bam! Anxiety! So my false fear is telling me I need to either work on my communication skills or confirm that I am actually a good communicator and am worrying for nothing. Hope this helps you somehow!! ☺️
Well back in 2009 i started meds as i was not good at all i was taking myself to the doctors every day.
I was on them about 2 year and took myself off them gradually, i felt better and thought i could handle it on my own i have since then handled it on my own apart from 2013 i tried quite a lot of meds but they all gave me bad side effects i couldn't eat lost a lot of weight and felt really bad not feeling in my own body.
so stopped trying to find a med to work.
i do have Valium prescribed as and when needed but have a fear of tablets due to the bad side effects from antidepressants.
I have issues even taking vitamins.
I was 20 minutes away from home but that is not what started the anxiety just made it worse.
I have a fear of driving far distances which i think came from travelling 3 hours in a car for a job interview, which involved tests bleep test and had to hold a shield for 2 minutes which was so heavy which was running, role play, maths and English after this i bent over in the changing room whilst getting changed and had a pain in my chest i panicked and took myself to the hospital near by, they said i was fine probably a pulled muscle i was so anxious all the way back.
now i cannot go any further than the corner shop without feeling anxious.
I will look to read them books i have self help for your nerves and essential help for your nerves by claire weekes.
I am like you i am not also a strong communicator but think this is because i lack confidence in everything i do. i was in a really abusive relationship where he made me feel so low about myself constant put downs and other stuff i just dont know how to get it back. i dont feel good enough for anyone.
When you feel anxious what do you do to minimise it?
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they moved in with their Dad at 15 & 16 , was a bad Mum no , I did my upmost but as they said the ocd drove them mad and had they stopped any longer they would have ended up like me and would a Mum want that for their Children , no of course not so if it helped them then a good Mum let's them go 
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