Good morning

[lovedogs51511]

I feel ok today I guess better than yesterday. I guess it doesn't matter but I keep having anxiety even if I feel ok. Going to new Dr on tomorrow. I'm very hopeful cause he said he could help me get an ADHD med to help control that. I've got to ask him for ativan for anxiety cause I'm pretty much housebound and I'm praying he will help me get some of the anxiety under control. I feel crazy cause I'm already taking 2 meds for bipolar2, 1 for epilepsy and 1 for depression. Another for excessive sweating that one med causes. Taking 2 more meds is just terrible. Some lady in Vegas said omg I'm glad those aren't my pills to my face. Well they were my meds and now I feel terrible that I need so many pills to keep me centered and to not feel so screwed up. Anyhoo I guess if,it takes that many to make me feel better so I can cope with life I guess it doesn't matter. She really made me feel Like crap. Have a good day😎

[Hidden]

Good Morning to you lovedogs51511

People always have opinions and give them to you when you least need them or even more when you have not asked them for them and it can bring us down because of how we are , but remember that is their opinion and they do not have to walk in your shoes as we say so they do not know , only you and your Doctor can work out what medication is right for you

I always think if we had cancer and they said take several pills a day and you will live for years and years then we would why are MH conditions any different if we need several medications to control them to have some quality of life

Try and ignore the negatives and focus on working with this new Dr and what is right for you

Let us know how you get on and I hope you have a lovely day

Take Care x

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for saying that lulu!!! 😀😊 That helped so much. I'm grateful and feel better seeing it that way. So thank very much!

Its so true if its for mental health why would it be any different than taking pills for a physical ailment.

I agree with you that if those pills help handle life better than its worth not feeling so bad by what that lady said. It just made me feel self conscious.

Thanks again for being so kind!!! Hope you have a wonderful and blessed day too!

[Hidden in reply to lovedogs51511]

Hello

No one should make you feel bad because you are taking medication to help you feel better

We say here

Until you have walked a mile in my shoes , then do not judge me

The lady has not so she had no right to judge , so please do not let her have the power in making you feel bad

I think dealing with all your issues and trying to find the right combination of medication to help you shows a strength and determination from yourself which has to be admired

Remember my positive comment and cast the negatives out x

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you lulu. Its just very hard cause I've always been bullied called multiple bad things. I was out with my mom a few days ago and everyone would talk to her but not look me in the face. I was at wells Fargo getting a new account and she would only look at my mom when she was telling me what to do. Then at,the DMV these two women kept staring me down looking at my sagging skin around my mouth and looked at me with disgust. They would give me a horrible look then turn around and do it again and again! I look like a freak and having ppl being so rude to me hurts and increases my anxiety and now I've been housebound for decades. I can't go out looking like this cause I can't stand getting treated this way.

[Hidden in reply to lovedogs51511]

Hello

I am so very sorry that people are treating you in such a disgusting way , they are the one's with the problems and not you !

In the bank I would have been inclined to say , I am here you know you can talk to me !

As for the others I would have waved at them and put them to shame !

But I know that's me and maybe not you and would not be able to handle that

You are not a freak , you are a unique and wonderful person in your own right and if others cannot see all the beautiful qualities you have then they are not worth your time or your attention !

I hope you are getting therapy as well as the medications to try and help you through this and build your confidence as sounds like you need it

I hope you will be able to get to the stage where you can accept yourself and go out , holding your head up high as you are as good as anyone else in this world , you just need to start to believe in yourself and hopefully in time you will x

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Hidden]

Oh huge thank you! All I want is to do is be accepted and not treated so horribly. But ppl continue to treat this way day after day. I actually just did a 10 minute walk. It was so terrifying but when I got home I felt safe. Its just an awful feeling being stared at like that cause my anxiety is thru the roof right now! Just trying to take baby steps. Other than that I don't know what else to do. Can't afford therapy and never believe what they say anyways. That's what I should of said to the mean girl at the bank. I should of said I'm right here ya know!! Ill try and do it next time!! Thanks for talking to me ad the great advice!!

[Hidden in reply to lovedogs51511]

People will always be people and quite a few very rude one's as well , over the tears I have learnt I cannot change others , but I have to change the way I am in other words not letting them affect me , I know it is not easy but I tell myself , will they give me a second thought when they get home or will they be sat upset like they have left me feeling the answer is no so then I say well why am I allowing people I don't know o care about me upset me ! the are not worth it

Good for you and well done going for a walk , I know how much that will have taken from you but you did it and you are so right , small steps at a time and they will lead to bigger one's , you should feel proud of yourself for going out even if for just 10 minutes

Hope you can cast the negatives out your mind and try and relax now knowing today you did your best which is all we can ever ask of ourselves x

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so very much lulu!!# I totally agree with what your saying. Its just hard everyday. I'm going to put my pic back on here to help me not care what others think. If they don't talk to me then not my problem. I don't want to but that's a step to do so. What others think isn't my problem. I would never want to associate with ppl like them anyways. Smiling covers up the saggy skin around my mouth from heavy smoking. I'm going to try and not care if ppl hate me but it still hurts. This will be a step I need to conquer. Ill Just try putting this pic up. What happens oh well. Lol. Your very,kind to talk to me and it means a lot so thank you!!!!

[Hidden in reply to lovedogs51511]

Wow you have come a long way in a day , not baby steps today I would say it is one giant leap you have taken

I have looked at your pic and I am been honest I cannot find one thing wrong with you

You have the most beautiful blue eyes and lovely blonde hair

If I looked like you I seriously would walk with my head held high , maybe they are jealous as they would like gorgeous blue eyes like you x

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Hidden]

Oh your too sweet!! The only,thing is that you can't see how saggy,the skin is around my mouth. Trust me its bad!! I try and only smile rather than not cause it helps me feel better cause ppl Can't see the sagging. I've had to lay on my hair to get it to stop being so frizzy. Plus I only take pics in the sun so it turns out ok. So there's a lot of ugliness I deal with after being a smoker for so long. Love my eyes tho. I guarantee you look amazing I can just tell. Your a beautiful person! You've taken time to talk to me so your very caring, have a loving soul, and a great friend! That's what makes a person beautiful!!! Like you lulu!!! That's the truth!!! So thank you sooooo much for being so kind to me it means a lot!!!

[Hidden in reply to lovedogs51511]

Seriously I am not beautiful well not now , in my 50's and as you get older things start going south , but like your eyes you make the most of your best features , when I look at someone I always look at their eyes first and I think most people do so you are lucky you have such beautiful eyes , and your personality it does count and I know you are a caring person to , so let both those things shine , forget the rest

I can look and drag myself to bits and then I watch something where people have lost their noses or been burnt and lost their features and I think you know what I need to stop it , I was never going to be a glamour model but I am lucky that I have not had to suffer like they have and they get on with life and they ignore the nasty comments and you should to

Life is to short , I always say how we look is just the package we come in , but you can have a gift all wrapped up perfect and inside there is the worse present ever and then you can have a gift that is not wrapped quite to perfection but inside is a Diamond I would rather not be wrapped quite to perfection and be a diamond , wouldn't you ? x

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Hidden]

Oh that's such a great way to look at things! I'd love to be a diamond too! Outside package is going south too. At 45 I've noticed certain body parts are falling down pretty fast!!! Especially the boobs lol. And my face is horrific. Oh well I guess I have to accept the package as it is and try not to let other ppl hurt me and just pretend I don't care I guess. Thanks for such great insight and advice! Your awesome 😎😀😊

[Hidden in reply to lovedogs51511]

My pleasure x

[AnxietyHell]

Hey there! Please don't let other people's narrow minded opinions get u down. I can understand why it gets to you though, I'm on 6 different meds for my anxiety/depression and I've been single for 5 years because it's hard to know when I should let sum1 I meet know about my illness and meds so I always back away from potential partners thinkin they won't understand it all. I know I'm advising u to not let it get to you - I am much better at giving advice than takin it! Lol. Can i ask which of your meds causes excessive sweating and what you take to help this? I also suffer excessive sweating, I have to change and wash 2-3 times a day. And it gets very embarrssing. I have to watch which colours of clothes I wear as with certain colours I get dark sweat patches under my arms and down my back. Even my face starts to drip of sweat just by getting house chores done or if I'm in a group of people and I start to feel anxious, sweat just pours from my face and runs down my back etc. My doc says there's nothin he can give me.....I've had this extreme sweating for as long as I remember.

I hope you can learn to manage your anxiety etc. It's the worst feeling and even more so when people judge as they are lucky enough not to suffer from this lonely illness. Chin up, you can do it!

[lovedogs51511 in reply to AnxietyHell]

I'm going to write a post and see if more ppl deal with this!!

[lovedogs51511]

Omg soooo glad you sent me a message. Lol I'm great giving advice too just not taking it cause most well all ppl constantly judging me. So yea its hard to keep telling myself they don't matter. Ppl have never liked me and for what reason I don't know. As far as the meds I totally understand you cause if I get these two meds from my Dr appt today that will make 8 meds!!! I looked up pills to control sweating and I begged the Dr to prescribed me oxybutnin. Still doesn't control it but helps a little. I like you have sweat dripping off my head, back always a river, under arms etc. I totally understand how humiliating,it,is!!! Isn't it the absolute the worst?? My hair is completely soaked after drying,it in the morning! My anxiety goes thru the roof! Nothing helps. I feel like a lost cause. Hopeless!! I think its the pristiq and tegretol I take for depression and epilepsy. Plus to top it all off I live in st george utah. 100 degrees yesterday! Omg I didn't even go outside way to hot. A month ago I moved from Vegas here. Lived,in Vegas 5 years! Talk about sweating oh Lord,it was extremely embarrassing!!

[lovedogs51511]

I forgot to say...I carry a small rag everywhere I go to try and get it under control. All it really does is wipe the sweat off. I keep deodorant in my purse to reapply. I'm so grateful you wrote to me caused I felt totally alone with this. In public like in Vegas nobody else was sweating so that just made my anxiety get extremely bad. I couldn't leave my apt at all unless I really had too. I'm still housebound here in utah. Been this way for decades. My anxiety is so bad and to top all that my face sags severely around my mouth from smoking. Ppl always stare me down making me feel so horrible. Nobody,talks to me except on here which helps cause I don't feel so alone. In person life is hell!! Don't have friends at,all. Not a very good freling whatsoever. All that makes me sweat too. Does your anxiety cause your sweating to get unbearable? Sorry for going on and on but I just don't want you to think your alone dealing with this cause I truly,know how frustrating and embarrassing it is!!!

[AnxietyHell]

Thanks for replying it really means a lot.

It is easy to think other people's opinion doesn't matter but impossible when we feel so anxious and self conscous. People are afraid of wot they can't understand, id rather they asked rather than lookin down at us.

I'm gonna try my doc for oxybutnin or somethin similar, as if somethin even helps a little bit id be so happy!

Omg! I think I would actually melt into a puddle of sweat on the floor if I was living with the heat u are! I'm in Scotland, UK - the highest our heat gets to is about 20-25°c. I find that impossible to go out in. I also carry a face cloth everywhere to soak up the sweat. I wear little make up but I need to wear foundation or tinted moisturiser as I get break outs. I really don't know why I bother cos it's either sweated off or wiped off with my face cloth so I get self conscious over my skin which brings on even more anxiety, just can't win!

I just looked at your pic and I honestly can't see any sagging or nothin, you look great!

I haven't got many friends left either. The only 2 that totally understood my mental health and helped alot have both passed away 😔 one through cancer at aged 42 and the other took his own life nearly a year ago so that's me basically stuck in the house majority of the time. I don't see my other friend often, she doesn't totally get me like my other friends did.

Thank you so much for sharing your story I really appreciate it, so glad I'm not alone. I hope things get better for you, although I know it's easier said than done! Good luck and thank you 😘😘

[lovedogs51511]

I'm so sorry that two friends who understood passed away. That's a great way to think about ppl not understand so they are afraid. Thank God you live in a cooler place. The desert is brutal. I couldn't imagine wearing makeup. I've never used makeup at all. But I can image how hard that would be. I hope the oxybutnin will help some. My saggy fave doesn't show cause I'm smiling and took pic in the light. Its just really hard being judged all the time. Thanks for replying. It helps so much!