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Living with Anxiety
3,846 members • 2,660 posts

How To Get Control

I've been suffering off and on with anxeity n depression. Ever since I retired my anxeity has in creased 10 fold. I worry mostly about my health, just was told I have diabetes and finances. I had to leave my job because of my anxeity.

I just want to stay in bed, eating is difficult I keep telling myself live in the moment...not working well

I'm desperate to get control...any HELP would be appreciated

28 Replies
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Hello :-)

I was just logging of and saw another post without a reply and then yours , it is after midnight in the UK but I like everyone to get a reply before I log of :-)

I think the more desperate we are to try and control this anxiety the less control we have because we are seeing it as a battle and with any battle there comes fear and so makes the anxiety even worse

If you can accept that you are suffering with anxiety , take small steps , set yourself small goals each day slowly you will get there and things will start to get better :-)

Hope when others log on you will get some more suggestions that will help :-)

Take Care x

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Thanks LuLu for taking the time to write. I live in the USA.

I read that somewhere about the more you fight the harder it is to beat. It did feel that way, I'm telling myself worry about today. Iam trying too.

Iam to focused on feeling better, I need to relax. I haven't eaten or drank anything today.

Thanks for your support

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PJRR, Oh my it's evening and nothing to eat or drink today? Please tell me you got something by now. Even if your appetite is non existent eat or drink something every couple hours. Set a timer if you have to. If groceries are a problem see if someplace nearby does grocery delivery or shopping for you that you can park and pick up. Usually the first few times using this service are free of charge! Are finances an obstacle to getting food, I know you said finances are part of your anxiety.

Our brains need food to think and without it we can cause damage to ourselves, a spoonful of peanut butter has some good protein, make sure and eat something before bed if you haven't already!

lil-rose

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Thanks for your concern, I did eat, it was kind of late like 9 pm.

Today I didn't eat til 1:30 pm. I took that opportunity to take blood test I was suppose to have taken couple of weeks ago.

And did eat dinner, my daughter cooked dinner.

Think that's part of it I don't have the energy or desire to cook. You mrntion peanut butter, I love it, have to Becareful with sugar intake, I have diabetes. I'm good today trying to keep positive.

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Hello :-)

What you read is very true , if you can practice acceptance it will make things easier :-)

Maybe today you can set a small goal that you will eat something , no matter how small but something and 3 times during the day would be wonderful if you could :-)

Lack of sleep and food are two of the worse things to keep our anxiety going so if you could manage to eat small but often this will make a difference

Let us know how you get on :-) x

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How do you do that? I did end up eating last night.

This morning I'm ok, I feel a little bit anxious not like yesterday. Telling myself everything's going to be OK.

Don't have a appetite right now. I did get sleep though I had to take something to help.

Had some Good news my moms coming out of the hospital this week.

Thanks for your support

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Well I think it is shear determination that I dig deep and find it , we all have it , I know it s not easy , I suppose I get that angry with myself been like I am I just push myself even though trust me I feel all the symptoms of anxiety but after I think , well anxiety 0 me 1 anxiety lost that control !

Fantastic that is good news about your Mum , I hope she continues to get stronger every day and if you can set those goals to eat little and often you will feel stronger to :-) x

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Thanks LuLu she looked real good. She does have dementia though

If she went to a convelesant home she'd die there. So that is news. I'll be there in and out to help with her care. She'll be living with my sister.

Well thanks I'll take your advice. Take care

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Sorry to hear your Mum has dementia but sounds like she is in good hands and has lots of love around her with yourself & your Sister :-)

Let us now if you do manage to give it a go and how you get on , like I said I avoid it when I can but when I know I need to I get my determination head on and push myself as much as I can and I am sure you would be able to do it :-) x

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Thanks LuLu, she'll be fine until god decides it's time.

I'm ok right now, trying to keep positive

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Hi PJRR! I'm sorry to hear about the increased and relentless anxiety, it's so hard! What have you tried so far to help or what professionals have you seen for this? I ask because I have used many different types of help over the years from support groups, phone counseling, EMDR, hypnosis, spiritual guidance and more. I have needed meds at times to help me get to where I want to be while I learn new coping skills. I wonder what you have tried and if anything has worked in the past that you could use again or maybe you are already working with someone.

It's really hard to initiate things like appointments when depressed, stressed and anxious. Everything is overwhelming, even the basics like showering. We are here to support you and offer encouragement in your journey!

lil-rose

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I'm really sorry to hear how you are feeling I was forced to retire because we had a new boss who bullied me my anxiety went through the roof I just didn't want to get out of bed I lost all interest in life Id been there 16 years and loved it and not a days problem until this horrid lady arrived

I think you need to be kind to yourself allow yourself that time to grieve as that's how I felt it was such a loss to me Then look round for things to go to groups to join I don't know where you are but there is a fabulous thing called the Recovery College and they do free courses on all sorts of things like depression anxiety mindfulness etc etc

I've found mindfulness absolutely amazing there are loads of books about it I've just bought one called Mindfulness a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world by Mark Williams and Danny Penman it comes with a cd I got it from Amazon There are lovely relaxation videos on YouTube that really help me My favourite ones are by Michael Sealey

I'm guessing it's still a bit of a shock to find out about your diabetes but I know from friends with it it can be managed really well Also you will need to eat well which I know you know but how about joining the weight loss forum not because you need to lose weight but I tell you if you posted that you have recently been diagnosed you would get so many great replies and support towards helping you with eating well

Don't despair I was where you are with wanting to stay in bed now I can't wait to get up and enjoy my days Take baby steps keep a diary make yourself a goal every day no matter how small mine started with washing my hair putting on my make up each morning Then I did more and more There is a wonderful lady called Dr Claire Weekes her books are fantastic and one thing that stayed with me is "Stay off that bed during the day " it's so true the more you stay in bed the more you mull over things I found the radio was a big help it stopped me thinking

Take good care you will get there I promise xxx

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Thanks Cat for your support, I read that when you fight the anxeity in anyway? that it makes things worse? Cause it's your nerves, that they need time to heal. Don't know what to believe?

I do think music would help? Some of those you tube videos on anxeity scared me, it was the background music

I try to not stay in bed, hard not to today it's an ugly Rainey day I'll go out tomorrow for sure

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Yes yes yes fighting makes it worse The key is to let the sensations flow over you and try and not tense up Its just adrenaline pumping around your body that's all It can't hurt you once you lose your fear of them they will go Dr Claire Weekes calls it "floating " float through them Her books are amazing and so comforting she says no matter how ill you are or how long you have had it you can and will get well

The Michael Sealey videos are so gentle I agree some of them the music is horrible and scarey but his are so nice Just hearing his voice introduce the video makes me relaxed

Please look online and read as much as you can about anxiety it will make you feel better and see that you have nothing to fear but fear itself

Wishing you all the very very best

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Thank you so much for the information. I will look into it. I have somebody telling me NO matter what I do, it won't stop? What I've been doing these past couple of days is telling myself things might not be as bad as I think?

That what if everything is good? Then I've wasted time living? Don't know if I can keep that up? But I'll try to keep living like the person also said to do. Plus look into what you have said. Thanks

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Now don't you listen to anyone that says it won't stop It's all a matter of understanding what anxiety / panic is once you have all the information and what causes the sensations then analyse them They come they peak and they go Every single symptom can be stopped by letting go stop fearing them Remember you cannot be tense and relaxed at the same time so once you learn to relax which takes daily practice you will be well If you sit for 10 mins breathing into your abdomen and out you will feel really calm When you feel the panic start just breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth it will see you through There is a very good video on YouTube by a Dr Harry Barry it's called Doctor Explains Panic Attacks it takes away all the fear I think once you accept you can do something about it you will be excited to start practicing and seeing some results I see you say your mum has dementia ? My dad did as well it's very very hard to see a loved one with it Just remember you are being as kind and compassionate as you can and reward yourself with little treats now and then

Please try mindful it's really fantastic

Take care and stay strong it's only a stupid set of symptoms that are fooling you into feeling they are something serious they can't hurt you xx

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Thank you so much, I'm breathing as I'm reading your letter. I do believe I can relax myself, it's telling myself that things may not be as bad as I think?

I do have a habit of overthinking the future. And be mindful of the time in.

Your dad has dementia too, how is he? My mom is at the stage were she has begun forgetting who her kids are? Sad to see, but we carry on cause I know that's what my mom would want.

Wish your family well

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I am so sorry you are suffering badly and cannot really add much to what the other lovely people on here have already said.

I will say that you should never feel alone on this site as we all understand how you are feeling.

Good luck and please keep in touch xx

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Thank you bird for your support and kind words. They are much needed. I love this site also, everyone is So supportive n helpful with ideas that gave them help. Most importantly non-judge mental cause we're All in the same boat. That makes it easier for Me to say what I feel.

I've been having a good day with just a little anxiousness? But tolerable. I'm feeling somewhat relaxed, but cautious.

I will keep in touch, take care

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Hoping you are able to be sleeping and eating and having less anxiety. Sorry it’s been so rough for you (((((PJRR))))))

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Yea, I have to quit overthinking things that have not happened?? That's always been a problem with me.

I thought I could talk to my sister, seems like I can't ? She seems a little put off? To just Stop Stressing??? It's not that easy, if it was, no one would have it.

I'm glad I have this site to be able to vent and knowing there are others who can relate and won't judge me.

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Yeah I love this place. I tend to overthink things that haven’t happened too but am practicing mindfulness which is very helpful.

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Mindfulness thinking makes ALOT of sense,. I will work on that. I even got out of the house today to get blood work done which I've been procrastinating to do.

I just finished eating which has been difficult to do. But because I haven't been eating much my stomach is a little upset. The food was a little Heavy???

But those feelings of doubt are still there, but not out there.

You keep doing what your doing. Take care

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That’s great! You accomplished a lot. What do you think the feeling of doubt is about?

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My future, I'm 63 I wasn't ready to retire. My finances are a mess and filing for bankruptcy hurts my chances for renting.

I had too retire because of my anxeity it was causing me too miss a lot of work. They were going to fire me had I not retired first? I wanted to leave under my terms.

I pictured myself homeless, though I know that won't happen, my kids or siblings would let that happen.

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The future is easy to worry about;the unknown. I try to believe it will all work out (my mom always said that) even if not exactly the way we plan it.

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I agree, you've never said your age...you don't need to tell me. Some of us as we venture into the latter part of our lives we tend to worry about things more.

I once trained as a CNA, in the convelesant home I trained in, there where people there that looked perfectly fine. I asked the nurse why they were here cause there didn't seem to be anything wrong with them ? She said they had nowhere to live.

So that was the only option for them. Waiting list for senior housing could be up to 10 years!!!

Because we're living longer, scary for me.

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I understand why you would be scared. (((((((PJRR)))))) I’m 41.

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