It’s all overwhelming

[Starrlight]

I’m sick today and dealing with anxiety and depression. So many appointments to go to lately for my kids and I don’t drive past certain areas because of anxiety/panic attacks so my husband needs to drive and I feel badly about it. I have acne and scars which don’t help me feel good about myself. I feel exhausted and overwhelmed so I haven’t made appointments for myself that I need lately. I feel like I can’t catch up even though I work so hard nothing is ever clean enough and things to do still pile up. I just want peace. My 5 yr old is having a birthday party soon and I want to enjoy watching him have fun but a afraid I will be stuck in anxiety and depression instead. I need to get past all the illnesses and live life. I am on meds and see a counselor but nothing seems to help. Thanks for listening.

[Hidden]

Hello & Welcome

I could feel your despair in your post and I know that feeling

As I read it I also knew everything you said was getting you down bu what I did see and when we are in the middle of all that we feel is piling up on us is that you have several things going of in your head and you need to try and deal with one at a time , sometimes making a list which is priority can help do this , deal with that one then move on to the next

I think I would start with " You " first

Because until you feel better all the other issues are going to be harder to deal with but get yourself in a better place and they may not even seem as important but they will be easier to address

No 1 I would seriously make been making those appointments and if I did not manage anything else next week I would aim to make those , would be lovely if you came back and said you had managed to do that

Next all this work you feel you have to do , maybe another list again making it in priority of what really needs doing and what could be left ?

Amongst that you need to make some time for you , some time where you can take yourself of maybe have a nice long bath , or something that could help relax you and make you realise just how important you are despite suffering with anxiety and depression

You sound like you have a good husband there , so he is doing the driving because he wants to help , he knows you need that help and he is giving it to you , don't beat yourself up over that , you would do the same for him if the boot was on the other foot as we say so let him do it for you and know this won't be forever just for now till you get back on your feet

As for acne and scars , I understand as ladies we just see any flaws we have and even more so when we have anxiety/depression but it is not what makes you as a person what your skin is like , it is what is on the inside that counts and I imagine that will be beautiful and I also imagine despite what you think about your skin you will still be physically beautiful to

Is there any treatment you can have or make up that will cover it when you go out ?

None of us are perfect physically I know I am not far from it but I do think anyone that is worth my time have to have more depth to their personality than to judge me by how I look , I think anyone worth your time should also have that quality

Your Sons Birthday , make your plans obviously but try not to put to much pressure on yourself about enjoying it because until the day you don'y know how you may feel , you just might surprise yourself and enjoy it but whatever happens remember you will have done the best you can at this moment and that is all you can ever ask of yourself

Take Care x

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Lulu, thank you so much for the caring words. I could make a list prioritizing to lessen anxiety. Many things seem not as urgent now. But I love how you say put me first... I just took a shower and that simple of a thing is helpful.

Trying to think better of myself too; it’s something so important that I need to figure out. Affirmations haven’t done it but I will keep trying. I defidently wouldn’t judge others by looks. I am just hard on myself.

When I look ahead like at my sons birthday I wil think positive because I am blessed with this amazing boy who will have a great time.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Hello again

It is so nice to hear you sounding calmer and a little more positive to

I am glad you took time out and had a nice shower , maybe now and again treat yourself to some nice shower gel or body lotion , new nail varnish maybe to let yourself feel and know just how special you are

I tend to write things down when everything seems to get overloaded in my mind because if I leave it doing a 100 miles an hour in my head which it does it all seems to much yet on paper I can clearly see most of it is not as important or as bad as my brain makes out it is

Also we can then look and say , OK what can we fix now and fix it and the one's we can't we can put them away and try and leave them there knowing that is something we can't do

And yes you are so right about judging people , I don't judge either , as long as someone is nice and kind that is all I care about , that makes them beautiful , there has been so many times when I have thought someone is really stunning and yet once I have got to know them they have become less attractive by the minute because what I saw on the outside is not what they are like on the inside which is what counts

You are very blessed to have your Son and he will think his Mummy is the most beautiful Mummy in the world and with that thought hold your head up high

I do hope you enjoy his Birthday even if in your own little way and would love to hear how it goes x

[Hidden]

Hey there first of all don't feel bad about things ~you didn't ask to have anxiety/panic ~don't be so hard on yourself. You sound like a lovely caring Mam so concentrate on that. So what if your house ain't like Buckingham Palace!! There's worse things in life than that.Im sure your son will have a wonderful party~just you wait and see ~Sometimes it's good to talk to people ~ we DO understand 😊x

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

True kittykat! I AM a caring mom. Thanks for your understanding. So glad you are here.

[Hidden]

Any time ~and you are beautiful ~ it's whats inside your heart that counts. Your beautiful son will love you no matter what 😊😊xx

[Starrlight]

So I checked my calendar and lists I had forgot I made and they are fine, they make sense... but my racing thoughts won’t stop. I tried practicing mindfulness but still the racing worries. I still feel that in general there is so much wrong to fix no matter how hard I try and I am so tired. It won’t do any good to dwell or worry or beat myself up and I know this but at times it’s like it is out of my control. Very frustrating. I think I will do meditations and try to sleep. Tomorrow is a fresh start.

[Starrlight in reply to Starrlight]

...Today I have a fresh start. I will complete what I wish to. I will be good to myself. I will create a good day.

[Hidden]

That's the spirit !! Great you sound so positive!!Well done you !!😊😊

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for the encouragement kittykat!