Feel like its back again

Hi all.i feel like my anxiety is coming back again and I'm feeling a bit depressed.yesterday I made a stupid mistake at the nursery and one of the workers were rude to me.Basically we were outside and I was going to go I. The cupboard to get something as it was tidy up time and she had gone in and she says we can't both be in the cupboard and then gives me a lecture on how when there's two of you outside you need to be careful. It feels like this worker is always picking on me and making me feel stupid.Last week she also had a go at me for helping to tidy up saying leave it for the children. I was really enjoying my jjob as well and cant stop crying as feel so stupid and she's never being nice. She's younger than me but is rude to me.i don't feel like I can do anything and dreading work Monday

[cc120]

Is there anyone superior that you can complain about her attitude to? If so, be very careful of your wording, ie don't need to say she's being rude, say that sometimes you don't feel that 'she' is satisfied with your work and you would appreciate any advice on how to improve your and overall working standards.

Is the policy is to leave some tidying for the children to help with their development? If so, have it stipulated how much/what should be left for the children to tidy up?

[Hidden in reply to cc120]

Yeah but the other workers don't speak to me like that

[cc120 in reply to Hidden]

Hi invisible, yes I know she's being rude but what I was saying is that if there is a rule about it that you weren't aware of (no fault of your own) then you can follow that rule and then she hasn't anything to complain of. But if there is no rule, or she keeps changing her mind on what you need to clear away and what the children need to clear away, then that is something you can take up with a superior. OR talk to other colleagues and ask for advice on how to deal with her, when she's not around.

[Hidden in reply to cc120]

Hello.thank you very much.dreading working with her

[cc120 in reply to Hidden]

I've had at least 2 of those types that made me dread work. I think those types can smell anxiety/low self esteem/nervousness and seem to enjoy watching us suffer. They are normally very slippery people who are very manipulative and seem to know what to say to put themselves in the best light to cover up their nastiness. Sociopaths I think they are. She may have taken a dislike to you for whatever reason and trying to get you to quit. If you have a friend in the staff who is sympathetic, just mention it to her without getting too heavy. Who knows other members of staff might find her nasty as well.

[Hidden in reply to cc120]

Thank you very much for your reply.that right.it's really weird because sometimes shel be nice and sometimes horrible and spending to me like I'm stupid I really dread working with her x

[cc120 in reply to Hidden]

Like I said she's a sociopath, charming when she wants something or to get you to trust her, so that you are too confused when she decides to be nasty to you to be able to deal with it unemotionally. Perhaps next time she talks to you like you're stupid, you could try saying: 'Oh I'm so sorry, it must be so difficult for you to work with someone who makes such silly mistakes, I'm so lucky to have someone like you to put me right, I'm so grateful', then you're not the victim anymore, just a grateful 'friend'.

[Hidden in reply to cc120]

Thank you you're apsoloutely right think also I'm going to try and keep well away from her

[cc120 in reply to Hidden]

If you can do that, would be great : ). Nasty person that she is : (

[Hidden in reply to cc120]

I hope so.if she's is wity me I will just go other end of playground and leave her.she is that's right.its a shame because I used to know her brother and he Was nice

[cc120 in reply to Hidden]

As long as you don't compromise the service you provide, that's the tricky thing in avoiding her. But just doing so for awhile will help you to become less anxious, which will make you able to deal with all problems better. Don't suppose you could have a word with her brother without turning her into a worse monster?

[cc120]

I haven't read through this myself, but might be helpful:

yourofficecoach.com/topics/...

And find further info by googling: 'how to complain about a colleague'

[Hidden]

Hello

Sorry you are upset with recent events you are experiencing at work at the moment

I know anxiety can make us feel very over sensitive as we lack self confidence in our ability & therefore can see everything as a criticism

Maybe rather than focusing on her age as when we have work colleagues they can be older or younger than we are but they will still have an opinion whether it be right or wrong could you try & get to know her more by when you have your breaks sitting & talking to her , you could mention that you seem to be getting confused with some of the format & want to do a good job , (maybe if you flatter her and you don't have to mean what you say but flattering can work ) you never know you might start to like her ?

If all this fails however then someone in a higher position maybe the head or deputy head of the school asking to speak to them would be the next on my list of how to resolve this & knowing I had made every effort with this person would give me more confidence to do so but I am sure it will get better

When we all start a new job we make mistakes it can take time to learn the ropes but it doesn't mean that we are less capable than anyone else & I am sure you are more than capable , try not to let your fears & anxiety tell you otherwise x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you feel really upset x

[Hidden]

Hi, it is so awful when someone belittles you. You know you are competent at your job, but I would feel exactly the same as you. I do hope you can sort it out.

Wishing you well.