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[William50]

Hello everybody and thank you for letting me join your group.

[Jm954]

Welcome! What brings you here and how can we support you?Jackie

[William50 in reply to Jm954]

Hi my wife was diagnosed with AML last year, after 6 months of treatment all went well, she went into remission and we thought great. Unfortunately last Christmas we had the devastating news that it had returned. She is now back in hospital having chemo and then she's going for a stem cell replacement / bone marrow transplant.Thing is I thought I was OK as in coping, but unfortunately as my wife is having a tough time in hospital I feel I am too, I feel so helpless and I know it sounds daft but guilty too.

[Jm954 in reply to William50]

I'm sorry to hear that your wife has relapsed and you're both going through this uncertainty. The treatment is certainly tough and everyone struggles at some point.

You haven't said but I'm presuming that you can't visit or at least as often as you would like and that is so hard for you both.

You're clearly a lovely man and the feelings you're wrestling with are complex and understandable. Sometimes, the only thing that can help is talking with someone who is trained and really understands the situation you find yourself in. Leukaemia Care have a helpline and also a counselling service that you can access, both free of charge I think.

This is the link about the Ann Ashley Leukaemia Counselling service:

leukaemiacare.org.uk/suppor...

The link for 1-1 buddy support

leukaemiacare.org.uk/suppor...

The free support line, where you can talk to a nurse. Details are here:

leukaemiacare.org.uk/suppor...

I'm sorry to just give you a load of links, it seems impersonal but the help and support you need is there for you and I hope it helps you through this.

with best wishes to you both

Jackie

[2003UK Champion]

Hi William, a great big welcome to our site I am so glad you have found us. I have read your response to Jackie. She has given you some brilliant links. I think being a spouse/carer is the toughest role in the world. You are on the same emotional and practical rollercoaster, yet you are keeping everything ticking over as well.

Living with the unknown, feeling helpless and feeling powerless are the worst.

With your wife in hospital you now have more time to think and perhaps that is when the thoughts and feelings go into overdrive, you are only human. You talk about your feelings of guilt and I have heard that is very common.

What do you feel guilty for?

And who is there for you and the answer in part is we are on here as we are the only ones that perhaps can really understand.

This is a time to look after yourself and re-charge your batteries, take care and stay safe and I look forward to hearing more from you.

[NicoleLeukaemiaCare Administrator]

Hi William - welcome to the group. Really sorry you have to join us under those circumstances.

We're lucky to have a board of really helpful people and yes, all of our support services are open both to your wife and more importantly you - as a carer, you need to look after yourself. You can't pour from an empty cup.

Take your time to read through anything you've seen shared, ask any questions and feel free to send private messages to the team if you think we can help.

Best wishes,

Nicole