Now everything in my life is keto

[Subtle_badger]

All my local supermarkets were sold out of toilet paper when I needed to restock on the weekend, so when I saw some in my local Tesco Express today, I snapped up what they had.

Added coconut oil. That means it's keto, right? 🤣

[Leeleepuss]

😂 I bought these for work, you can imagine the hilarity as I work with 3 men!!

[TheAwfulToad Ambassador]

Wait, what? Why does tissue paper need added coconut oil?

Can you imagine the marketing department meeting that produced that decision? I suppose it must be pretty difficult coming up with innovations for toilet paper.

[Hidden in reply to TheAwfulToad]

I think its the same sort of innovation that gave us balsam tissues for when you have to blow your nose all the time...

[Subtle_badger in reply to Hidden]

That's my feeling too.

Constipation puts your nethers through a rough time, as indeed does diarrhea and diarrhea's chilli enhanced cousin, The Johnny Cash's. I don't need coconut oil, but I don't judge those who do.

[BrynGlas in reply to Subtle_badger]

You may well need it some day though! It will keep. I went to the Co op today and though I have a pack of nine in the house, I thought I may as well bring 2 more, rolls, not packs! Does that count as stockpiling I wonder? Couldn't find any with coconut oil though.

Brainwave!!!!!!! I have plenty of coconut oil in the house including one that has very little left in the jar. I can place it beside the loo can't I?????

[Subtle_badger in reply to BrynGlas]

🤪

[BrynGlas in reply to Hidden]

Eggzackerly!

[BrynGlas]

Roflmao!!!!!!!!! I must get some then mustn't I??????

[Hidden in reply to BrynGlas]

they are probably sold out...

[Hidden]

Boom boom

[Hidden]

The trouble is I am too busy reading your gags & drafting careful emails to my MIL to deal with some of the stuff, to do any exercise tonight....

[Subtle_badger in reply to Hidden]

I love this forum!

But please, rebound. I am impatient to see that video!

[Hidden in reply to Subtle_badger]

Hmm.

[BrynGlas in reply to Subtle_badger]

What video? Missed that one!

[Subtle_badger in reply to BrynGlas]

There may be a rebounding video from SFG. It does not exist yet.

[Hidden in reply to BrynGlas]

Nothing to do with wiping bottoms.

I rashly said that I would post a video of me rebounding to show what amazing & fun exercise it is. I originally said I would put it up when I was less of a tub of lard, but I am less lardy now, so then I was waiting until my lungs wererecovered from a chest infection. They are. So it’s just a matter of being a bit less unfit - I’ve done nothing for 6 weeks. Which means getting back on the trampoline. I have done my weights routine now & about to hop onboard...

[BrynGlas in reply to Hidden]

I have one of those too, I love it!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

But Subtle_badger is not allowed to laugh or not so that I can hear.... (nb it’s quite hard to type and trampoline at the same time..)

Update easier while stretching

[MikePollard]

mirror.co.uk/news/real-life...

Could start a new keto trend!

[BrynGlas in reply to MikePollard]

Gross or what? Mind you, I do like the taste of coconut oil, though I have never been able to stomach a Bounty bar!

[Subtle_badger in reply to BrynGlas]

I love bounty bars. It's not my favourite coconut chocolate bar, but I won't share that because I haven't decided to reveal my country of birth on here.

I probably will, but not yet.

[Hidden in reply to Subtle_badger]

Did you know that mango bounties used to be available in Russia?

[Subtle_badger in reply to MikePollard]

Ugh!!! Disgusting!

[SofaJockey]

Comedy gold.

Thankfully I'm well stocked with toilet roll, soap and hand sanitiser (because supermarkets are part of my 'steps' workout) I saw the increased buying coming.

And of course I don't eat pasta any more.

[BrynGlas]

I have been eating vegan you know and bought a few packs of wholemeal pasta today and seeded wholemeal bread, neither which I have eaten for years. I am not losing weight, but I can't lose on Keto/Atkins etc either and I am enjoying my vegan food, so I will keep going for a while longer.

[Hidden]

🤣

[ChubbieChops]

And if food gets rationed, you can eat it

[Subtle_badger in reply to ChubbieChops]

I must say, it smells delicious. However, because of where I am keeping it, I won't be tempted to taste. 🤢

[ChubbieChops in reply to Subtle_badger]

I've never heard that before - that toilet paper smells delicious!!

[Subtle_badger in reply to ChubbieChops]

It's unique on the whole of the internet!

google.com/search?q=%22toil...

[ChubbieChops in reply to Subtle_badger]

Brilliant!! Will try that out right now!!

[Dogpal]

Haha, nice one! 😂😂