Happy Monday everyone! This week in the People of HealthUnlocked series, we're sharing Nina's journey with depression. Can you relate? Let us know in the comments below.
"I struggled with depression on and off for over 20 years. It started as a teenager, though at the time we really didn’t understand that I was struggling. My parents viewed it as me trying to get attention and that I was over-reacting.
It became full-blown depression six months after my second daughter was born. It started as post-partum depression but then developed into clinical depression. I couldn’t believe that I had everything going for me and yet I lived in this deep dark depressed state on and off for 20 years.
I was married, had two beautiful daughters, a lovely home, a stable job, friends, etc. I also went to church, read my Bible, and prayed daily. I couldn’t understand why I struggled with depression. I saw a psychiatrist and started taking medication, but it took almost a year to find the right dosage and type. I also worked with a counsellor. I would be on the medication, feel better, and then go off the medication. Of course, this was done under the supervision of a psychiatrist.
I found reaching out on forums like HealthUnlocked really helped me know I am not alone. There are others who struggle like I did.
After years of this battle with depression, I learned that first, my depression was situational. I lived overseas in Saudi Arabia for over 16 years. Many times we would arrive back from our trips I would struggle with depression upon arriving back to our home. I didn’t give my body a chance to adapt. I had too high expectations of myself at the time. The medication would help regulate the chemical imbalance that would happen, due to my thoughts and emotions. However, I needed counselling along with the medication to truly get to the root of my problem.
I had to be aware of my triggers and avoid letting myself spiral. If I started to have that uncomfortable feeling that I knew could lead to depression or anxiety, I had to acknowledge my feelings, give myself a break, and not push myself too soon.
Through prayer with my friends and trusting God, I received comfort, peace, and strength. I would also journal my thoughts which really helped me let go of what I was feeling and give it to God.
Finally, through becoming a health and life coach, I have been on self-awareness journey that has really helped me learn to beat depression. Self-awareness is huge for true transformation and making changes in our life.
So often we truly don’t know ourselves, what we need, and how to listen to our bodies. We repeat the same patterns of behavior that really don’t help us. You always hear if you just think positively you will feel better. But the saying “easier said than done” comes to mind. So what I had to do was become curious about why I think a certain way or do things a certain way. Instead of being judgmental, I learned to look deeply within to understand myself.
I was so busy in the past doing things for others, focusing on others, I never took time to get to know me. Getting better and making changes begins with looking into ourselves and caring for ourselves. Then, we actually become better not just for ourselves but for those around us.
What truly made my transformation of beating depression was believing and knowing that I don’t have to stay in a depressed state and that I am a strong, happy person. Believing in yourself truly does make a difference in your life. Changing our mindset leads to the healthy person you want to be. As a health and life coach I have learned you cannot do it on your own. "
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Nina has given us consent to share this story. Follow Nina's journey on focusonfreedoms.com
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Stories on HealthUnlocked have an incredible way of raising awareness around certain conditions, as well as inspiring people who might be in the same situation as you. Would you like to share your health journey? Email me at communications@healthunlocked.com
xo,
Leilah,
Written by
MarketingHU
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Dear LeilahHU, please tell Nina that she is not alone, and I admire the way in which she has pro-actively worked to overcome depression. My younger daughter 37, has post-partum depression from 7 years ago when her son was born. She has such a lovely husband. But she will not seek professional help when she is down. Here in India, it’s still a stigma to have ‘mental problems’ so people put up with it rather than admit they have a problem and seek help. She has also been diagnosed with osteoarthritis recently and it has upset her. I’m going to share your story with my daughter and hope she will be motivated to help herself. Do tell Nina I wish her a wonderful life after all her struggles.
Thank you for reply suryakaizen - I'm sure that would mean a lot to Nina. I will definitely pass on your message to her, and hope that her story can inspire your daughter too.
Hi there, as a tutor for people living with chronic pain and associated mental health issues I would like to commend the way you are working through your condition.
There are many things you say throughout your post which many people will relate to.
I really like your approach as it's similar to mine , it's so easy to slip into the negative thought process , it's something our courses focus on.
Usually people don't understand they firstly are using negativity, and secondly they don't see it as one of the problems. I usually explain if we say for instance oh no another rubbish day ahead full of struggles and obstacles, this usually leads to a day of struggles and obstacles. If you get to a point where you can understand that it's some of these negative thoughts that are enhancing your condition, and this is not just true for depression but also things like fatigue and chronic pain, then the understanding that negative thoughts can and do impact your brain to enhance things, then it becomes slightly easier to think if i can train myself to use negativity to worsen my life , then possibly if i change my thought process to positive one that it will improve my life.
There is much of what you say that will hopefully inspire and motivate people .
I hope i have explained properly what I was trying to put across, sometimes difficult to put into words.
Thank you for your encouraging words. I am so glad that you will share my story with your daughter. I pray that it will be motivational and encouraging to her. Let her know she is not alone. That really helped me. Has she ever reached out on this forum? It really helps to talk with others that understand the struggles of depression and how are mind can really affect us. I would be happy to chat with her anytime if she would like. My goal is to help others who struggle with depression and learn that we don't have to be stuck in the depression that there is hope and a way to feel better. I will be praying for your daughter. Hugs and Blessings!
HI ITS JULIE I HAVE DEPRESSION DUE TO CHRONIC PAIN. CAR ACCIDENT. I LOST MY BEST FRIEND AND LEARNED I NEEDED SURGERY ON MY SPINE. WELL THEY TOLD ME THE HEADACHES WOULD GO AWAY WELL THERE BACK WHAT I HAVE LEARNED IS SUPPORT IS EVERYTHING. I DO MY ART, COUNSELING, MINDEFULNESS AND I HAVE LEARNED YOU HAVE TO TAKE TIME TO CARE FOR YOU FIRST BEFORE YOU CAN HELP OTHERS. SO LOVE YOUR SELF. WATCH A MOVIE, MAKE THAT DINNER, GO OUT WITH FRIENDS. MOST OF ALL YOUR NOT A LONE. LOVE JULIE
This is so encouraging Sanmateogirl. Thank you for sharing and keep up your mindfulness and self-care. I agree we are never alone. We have each other and God is always with us.
As a sufferer bi.polar as well as R.A. and all the 'extras' I am interested in Nina's story as it sounds very similar to my own experiences with long term depression . I would very much like have any information on self aware techniques which may be of help to other health unlocked members.
Check out Nina's website. She has healthy tip blogs and videos on those techniques and how she can possible help you on the self-awareness journey she went on. focusonfreedoms.com
Her latest video is on a technique called EFT - Emotional Freedoms training. It incorporates positive self-talk with acupressure points. It is great at changing the way we think and what we believe about ourselves. youtube.com/watch?v=f0ss3s_...
So wonderful to read uplifting powerful stories and it does make us realise that there is always a way out if we search hard enough, however being on that journey alone must be the hardest part, so sharing in this way and on your forum, is such a perfect medium. A thank you to Nina for the honesty. Max
I suppose high expectations from n my parents was one of the reasons why I was ill at 16 . Dad signed for ECT for me and I attribute that to a lot of my yearly childhood being eroded . Aged 17 I walked out of school, went cold turkey on all my meds , got a full time job and never looked back . I have brought up 5 sons all uni educated and above so like you say -you evaluate and sort yourself, Professionals who treat - the majority never experience what we go through
I suffered from depression from about age 6, I was put on antidepressants age 16, in those days they were very strong and badly hampered my final years in school, reducing my concentration. The depression was always there, sometimes worse than others. I had a disastrous marriage and a second very traumatic relationship. I always blamed myself for things going wrong, people pleased, worked obsessively, didn't look after myself. I had two long series of psychotherapy, which helped me understand my issues, how they had arisen, my unhelpful behaviour patterns that had arisen as a child as protective behaviours, that weren't serving me well in adult life. But the depression remained. Three years ago something really bad happened. I had my life's purpose taken from me, my character assassinated and I lost all faith in humans. My three pets all died within 6 months of each other. I was homeless for 4 months. When I came to my new home, I realised that although I had my own roof, all the issues I had from my past were still there. I was isolated, lonely, despairing and suicidal. A Facebook friend picked up on a comment I made in a group, and private messaged me. This person recommended I try Binaural Beats. This is a relatively unknown process that has proven to help depression, anxiety, and other mental problems, as well as aiding meditation and conscious awareness. Within 3 weeks, my depression was gone! After 60 years!!!!
Everything looks different now! I have the energy to work on my issues, to give myself the love and self care that the depression had made impossible. I meditate. I read and listen to Eckhart Tolle. I have started Yin Yoga. I've started walking after 3 years practically in bed.
Binaural Beats involve listening to a musical track using stereo headphones. Beneath the audible music are two very low frequency sounds that are inaudible, sent to each ear. For instance wavelength of 200 hertz and 210 hertz into separate ears. The brain hears both sounds, and makes an imaginary beat from the difference in the two wavelengths, in this case, 10 hertz, which is an Alpha wave. This Alpha wave changes the electro chemical wavelengths in the brain, and with frequent use, restores normal brain function from the depressive state. No drugs!
I started with 10 minutes morning and night Alpha tracks. At first I had slight physical sensations, tingling in limbs, very tired afterwards. These wore off after a few days. Then I used longer tracks. I was advised to use the same tracks for at least a month. Then I added in a Theta track (Theta has helped me process so much past pain). At first a short track, then a longer one. After a couple of weeks I added in a Delta track. My regime at present is an Alpha and Theta track in the morning before I get up and a Delta track at night before I go to sleep. If you find that you have trouble sleeping, you need to do the nighttime track earlier, or spend less time using the Binaural Beats until good sleep pattern returns.
Go to YouTube, search Binaural Beats, and use the tracks from Unisonic Ascension. I will post a link to an article under this post for anyone interested. This is a free, non medication method of treating depression. I know several other people that it has worked for too!
well I've just listened to half a track and subscribed. Not good timing at the minute, but first impressions are wondrous. Felt utterly relaxed but also joyful - very strange, and I am a pretty logical scientific person.
Hi Ruby1, I'm a vet nurse, and from a scientific background, and thought this was rubbish when I first heard of it. But there is science behind it. And my depression was so bad, I would have tried anything to clear it. I'm totally convinced this method works. Good luck!
Thanks for sharing this, I will look into it. Glad you are doing so well. God Bless.
Hi MarketingHU
Thank Nina so much for sharing her story on HU. I admire the way she has dealt with her depression.
I had postnatal depression after my first dsughter was born nearly 38 years ago and often wonder if this is the reason why she has been diagnosed with Bipolar, she is either happy or very quiet and down but not manic.
She tried to take her life back in 2007 and I seemed to handle this but then my mum died suddenly 6 months later and I couldn't cope any longer.
I exercise and find this helps a lot and I did try the Thrive Programme and although it's deemed as very successful it didn't work well for me. I'm sure if I'd gone through the Programme with a Therapist then I'm pretty sure I would have been successful.
I'm focussing on challenges where you raise money for charity, I get a lot from raising money. It pleases me so much to hand money over.
I am thrilled that Nina has turned her life around, what an amazing person she is and she has her beliefs so has comfort as well.
Depression always makes any health condition worse. As a psychologist I work with this daily in my practice with clients with varying chronic problems (pain, cancer, diabetes etc). Can I suggest a brilliant video to watch by Dr Michael Yapko - an American Psychologist who is one of the world authorities on depression (see his books on Amazon). As well as being a psychologist, he is s stunning educator - makes information easy to get!
I have depression through constant pain, my pain medication is that I actually feel stoned at the moment. I went to work yesterday for 4 hours and came home in agony took my tablets plus the extras which I'm allowed to take to try and get the pain so I had some hope of getting some, I didn't do bad but now at 7.45am I'm in pain and I've got 4 hours work to do yet. I'm 64 next week and when I was 58 I tried to get into office work (I was advised to try) but was told by 2 companies who help people get into training and work there was no chance because I was to old and crippled and has for some training you need to be able to pay but don't take a loan out because you won't get a job. I'm working checkouts 16 hours a week this hurts me. Just lately I thought I might meet a lady for some company but I'm trying the internet but when it comes to the crunch I panic because who would want to be with a miserable B. like me. I never been married and never even kissed a woman since I was a teenager. I wish I could pack in work but I would not have any money to live on. I've got Osteoarthritis in my neck through injury at work, I won a claim when I had the injury but that was for neck pain nobody knew it was going to develop into this nightmare. I'm on Sertraline 50mg but this doesn't help much I don't like asking for more because I'm on to much medication already.
I would go back to GP - not asking for meds but advice . I had severe neck pain from car crash . Physio helped me not drugs which made me sluggish which increased my weight adding to my problems.
Please seek out a pain management doctor. I fractured my back in 3 places and am on my 5th round of cancer, and with pain management never feel stoned. I also take an anti-depressive med. There are up to 16 different forms of seretonin in the brain, and I had to find the anti-depressive med that worked - it is a Godsend. I do not feel stoned on this, either - feel very much like myself without the depression. Today is a good example of what used to be a "bad" day because it is raining and the rain effects my back, yet I feel so much better than when I was trying to go it alone. A good therapist and psychiatrist help the depression and the pain management doctor keeps the pain under control.
Thanks for sharing your story. Can I just quote part of what you wrote:
"I couldn’t believe that I had everything going for me and yet I lived in this deep dark depressed state on and off for 20 years.
I was married, had two beautiful daughters, a lovely home, a stable job, friends, etc. I also went to church, read my Bible, and prayed daily. I couldn’t understand why I struggled with depression. "
I've been involved with the charity MIND, a mental health charity, for 8 years. And yes, there is a stigma, still, on those with mental health issues, not just in "India", but in the UK and more than likely in the USA as well, etc. Globally, really.
But in regard to what you wrote above. Can I just say that this was a bit of a loaded paragraph without you meaning for it to be. .. firstly, you assumed that because in your own value system, and I want to stress that it is your own value system, you had "everything going for you", that you couldn't possibly be depressed. Lots of people with money, etc, people who in their own mind have everything going for them, can be depressed. Why do some celebs kill themselves, right? Depression is not only "meant" for people who have "nothing" going for them (eg poor, single, no job, no religion). That in itself is a stereotype.
Some people have "nothing", least in your value system, and they don't necessarily get depressed. Some of course, do. Depression can attack anyone. Regardless of how rich you are, how many friends you have, whether or not you go to church or believe in God, whether or not you are married, etc. Just as cancer can attack anyone.
There is so much domestic abuse in relationships, much of which most people never hear about, that is in part the fault of the media but it's also society, but just to say that being married does not mean you should automatically be happier than someone who is on their own. I actually think that if you trap yourself into your value system above, a system which was of course imposed on you, that can cause depression because it's putting too much pressure on yourself to be "perfect" and "normal" as per that value system. Trying to shove a square peg into a round hole sort of thing. It doesn't work. Yet you seem to attribute your depression to living abroad. Again, living abroad can trigger depression. Any major change can trigger it. Or not. We're all different. Some people are far happier when they move abroad.
Also, severely depressed people so often cannot hold down stable employment. Many cannot even work at all. So there are many different levels of depression and it affects people differently. Some can function, some can function a bit or off and on, and some cannot at all. Whenever someone says they have a stable job yet depressed, I am always amazed because I know so many people who cannot hold down a stable job because of their depression. Some people barely leave their home. Some barely get out of bed.
I am glad you are feeling better and again thank you for sharing your story.
Hi dani777, I agree with your comment that anyone can get depressed, clinical depression often strikes for no reason, it's a chemical imbalance. But I must point out that the opening paragraph to which you refer, is typical of depression. The description of why it shouldn't be happening to me as I have so much, is common to all sufferers of depression regardless of their job or social standing. It is just another way in which sufferers of this awful condition, can indeed make themselves feel worse.
Hello , I thought I would add an experience tip available in our city. We concentrate along with our local theatres on enacting out scenarios that help people release their feeling in theatre productions that includes good & bad feelings, up in leeds they have a music class that allows you to do any movements you are able even if in a chair, to music. It also works at getting people together to share experiences which helps in mental health situations . We just found another area where mental health is ignored in assessing service use which causes more stress but thank you to yourself for showing that positivity can bring change. Self esteem & confidence often go along with this. Good luck with controlling your illness & helping others. Stay positive x
Hello Leilah. Thank you for sharing your life. I am struggling with Depression like yourself for over 40 years. Having tablets daily only a small dosage the last 2 years. I find living with this illness, Raynauds, Systemic Scleroderma is hard sometimes. Like coping losing my dog about 10 days ago to a heart attack. I have always had dogs and lost one of 14 years old about 3 years ago. So rescued Lizzie, yes she turned to have my name about 14 months ago. I knew she was getting on but we needed each other. But it was just such a shock. My neighbours and friends are upset too. They have been amazing with cards and gifts to help me cope. But I am not. I can fall to pieces at a drop of a hat. They are crying infront of me, also on the phone and hurting but it may sound cruel. it is making it harder for me to cope. She will be my last dog because I cannot go through this heartache any more. Also the ilness getting worse It would be a struggle.
Also asked by my consultant last week if there is one thing that she could do to help me cope with this illness. That got me angry inside because there are so many things to this illness that makes my life hell everyday. How can you say this or that. Mentioned a couple of things but I cannot see it getting any better. Changed a tablet and had antibiotics for a chest infection I have most of the time. So just all over the place at the moment.
See my post about Binaural Beats, a non medical but scientifically based method of clearing depression. After 60 years, I am depression free after using Binaural Beats for 3 weeks!
I didn't know that I had depression until I looked back over my years and it now makes sense. And I now realize that it is, and was, probably a symptom of MS, which I've had for over 30 years.
Hi, I am Essam Abusalem, from Libya, my feeling when I read your post like if you are talking about me, the same what happened with me exactly . will done. You are so brave to face the depression yourself. Me also, I suffered from the depresses for 2 years. I agree with you, that first thing, we should defeat our inner enemy and the negative ideas. If you want to be my friend, please do so because I think you are a interesting person, and also you will add a lot to my life. Good luck
I can relate to her story in and through prayer and trusting in my relationship with God. Her story is inspiring and gives me the hope that my future is brighter!
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