There doesn't seem to be a lot of action on here, but I thought I'd just make a blog post anyway, because there's not much else I can think of doing right now.
I'm 18, and I've been struggling with depression since I was 13, though I was only diagnosed at the end of last year, following a suicide attempt. Until then, I had been told it was a phase that I would get over... Since then I have been put on anti-depressants, which seemed to work for a little while, but recently, my mood has taken a bad turn.
I'm pretty much just in bed all the time. I don't know how to deal with things anymore, and I'm self harming again for the first time in nearly two years. My mum's just been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and I'm freaking out because I don't know how to take care of myself let alone help take care of her. I've lost a relationship due to not wanting to see anyone, and I haven't seen my friends in ages. I just want to live a normal, 18 year old life.
I just phoned the mental health crisis team, whom I dealt with after my attempt in November. They were okay then, if perhaps a little condescending ("do this, do that, and you'll be happy" - anyone else experience this?) but my mum suggested I phone and make an appointment, so I tried. I got told that i had been discharged from their service months ago (despite being told previously I could get help from then whenever), and that there wasn't much they could do to help as I wasn't in "immediate danger". Which I found odd considering I had just told the woman about my suicidal thoughts and self harm. It seems to be that to get help with depression you really need to do something extreme to get someone to listen or pay attention, which is just so saddening, as well as exhausting. It feels like I'm screaming my head off and no one will listen, so I've stopped screaming because it's too much work.
This is all turning into a bit of a ramble but I just thought I'd try and post here, what harm could it do. I just feel totally lost. I want to curl up in my bed all the time (and have been) because just getting up and being awake is simply too exhausting. ):