Waiting times on councilling

Since I was around 14, I've sensed that something wasn't quite right, with 4 failed attempts to end my life when I turned 17 I decided to go to get help.

Since I'd started having panic attacks around this time, I mentioned this to my doctor and they did nothing about my failed attempts and simply put me on Propranolol. I had some horrible side affects within days so stopped taking them, within a while my anxiety (which was diagnosed at the time).

Around my 18th birthday I began to feel very low again, with it coming in phases, I felt that the doctor's could have failed me as I tried to take my own life again (with this being near to the anniversary of me going to the doctors for the first time) and I dropped out of college even though I was achieving high grades. Leading on to this, I finally got through and was put on the waiting list for counselling, which they said would be 4 months long (with me starting in January) but it hasn't came around yet.

I didn't warm to the idea of counselling to begin with as I can't efficiently talk about my problems, I just pull jokes as I do as a self-defense mechanism, but this means that a lot of healthcare professionals haven't taken me seriously (as it seems). Now that I'm nearly 19, should I just ring up about it even though the waiting list is probably even longer now, or ask to be taken seriously about my (what clearly appears to be) depression?

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  • Aww so sad about to listen to your story...life is so beautiful..every day and every second is a blessing of God .Never disappoint yourself from any failure you can do much better things.Hey you are so strong and loving person.life has too much happiness for you but you should show gratitude and be open for your self.try to open your heart to live this beautiful life and to love others .love your self always .All the best ..take care

  • Hi.

    I feel so sorry to read this. Too many suicide attempts! That's awful. I can imagine your pain and hopelessness and it's really horrible.

    I'm not sure what to say to you. *Sigh* Life is very hard sometimes and life is suffering. But there are happy, good times too and that's what I freakin' cling to. I think you should keep trying to look for a therapist/counselor/person to talk to. I'm a bit of a hypocrite because my husband wants me to find one but I think they won't understand. Still, I've been trying to find one online (I have to do SOMETHING...I can't keep going on like this) and I plan on going and if that one doesn't help, I'll try another.

    Geez. I'm depressed I know so it's hard to give suggestions on how to help, when I'm trying to figure that out myself! I was thinking of joining something...I love to read so maybe a book club. I love yoga so I think I'll try a yoga class. I HAVE found that being alone with my thoughts for long periods of time isn't good for me. I've always loved my own company and been anxious around other people (except for a very select few) so I've always generally been alone. But lately I'm finding that's when I'm most depressed.

    It DOES sound like you're depressed. It seems obvious. You're writing on here for help and there are billions of people in this world, SURELY someone can help you. Keep trying to find someone who will take you seriously. It IS serious. I hope the best for you.

  • Hi, I too was a suicidal teenager, at 16.

    I am now 53. At 30 years of age, I left my commonlaw partner. Once I was on my own, I journaled and was real honest with myself. I discovered why I was so angry. I was once a violent person. I learned that I suppressed anger from childhood up until my adult life. It led me to drink n do drugs.

    I quit all that! Give it a try. Councilling is a good idea too. We all need help on our journey. Nothing to be ashamed of.

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