Confused, messed up, help is needed.

[notsosure]

I am new here and I felt signing up here and sharing my issues might help me recover my lost self. I am sorry but it;'s going to be long but all I need is your help.

I am 22 years old woman. I feel that I have a lot of questions unanswered. I am in a course of life where I feel that I am not myself. I don't know what's with me but I feel lost.

Ill be sharing some of my thoughts and I need you(who ever is reading it) to figure out whats been happening with me as I cant really figure it out myself.

* just to make it clear I've never been to a counselor or psychologist in my life.*

to start it off I am a highly confused person. I seriously don't know from where all this confusion comes from. I also think that my habit to think over something for pretty long has over power the quality of me making decisions. For example, me buying a piece of cloth takes me more than 5 hours or so just to think whether this single piece will make me look good or not even if I have tried it on. In the end making a decision of not buying that cloth because I am still confused or finally buying it cause my mind will make me think of me as 'WHAT AN EXTREME LOSER YOU ARE". I mean just not to make me feel what loser I am Ill buy that cloth because I have spent a huge chunk of time thinking on whether to buy it or not.

This makes me realize later that because of my this habit I am not able to perform actions to what my mind is thinking which makes me obviously a not so successful person. I am in that part of life where a student has to do something to set their career. I also have huge plans to make myself successful to have a better independent future but the issue is I ONLY THINK. I dont perform ACTION to make that thinking come true.

I have not many hobbies I can say because at this point of time where the struggle in me has made me to get irritated by everything. I have started hating or my interest in doing things that I like is over. I've lost interest in each and every thing.

I have lost interest in talking to someone. I have covered a proper journey from being a happy person with lots of friends to a boring dull person with no friends.

At a point I feel like its depression taking badly over me, eating me slowly and gradually. Making me lose my creativity, making me less productive and I guess suffering from extreme memory loss is also coming from here. I have stopped talking and even if I want to my mind makes me to keep my mouth shut because it makes me think I have to tell the other person all of the story from square 1 and there might come a chance that the other person will judge me and wont understand me.

The bad part is that I know how badly I am declining and I am trying stupid things to cover up the issues of excessive thinking habits I am facing but I am still in the same state. Help me figure out where to make myself a better person and to find what kind of person I am.

[heather67]

You do not need to be a better person. You are a young person at a x roads in your life and it is a scarey thought. You are obviously a clever person studying for whatever subject interests you asa career. Anxiety for the future scares the stuffing out of me too as I figure where to go next on my journey. Don't internalise all this worry as I do. It will eat you up. Get some student support if you can. Speak to your advisers about your options. That is their job. Memory loss and being indecisive are all symptoms of anxiety and a lack ofor interest in hobbies you enjoy could be a symptom of a reactive depression. Get out, get some fresh air, take some deep breaths, there is no rush. Connect with a friend or family member. I got your back too. Hope this helps. Xx

[notsosure in reply to heather67]

Your words totally makes sense to me. Where as the place I study has a serious lack of good advisers or counselors that's why I am here. Moreover your words have helped me a lot. Thankyou for taking out time and writing it down to me!

This is such a relief! Be in touch!xx

[hareem]

Don't worry dear everything will be ok for you.trust your self you are a strong and intelligent woman.Its not that our all decisions are good for us but we should always believe ourself to make decisions. I suggest you to just trust your self.Hey every one is facing some problems in life but it does not matter .We always have opportunity to make ourself happy .Just listen to your heart and do relax.If any incident hurts you just forgive every one for your inner peace and try to see good things in your life.your flight is much high.All the best dear.take care of your self.I wish you always smile and your smiley face make others also happy