Let's Talk About Depression, Divorce and Autism.

[JR81]

I'm new here and looking for people who's dealing with depression, from a family breakdown and being an autistic parent. How did you manage to carry on and staying put on the positive side?

[Hidden]

I can't speak as a divorcee but I certainly have and do experience depression. Your emotions, feelings and thoughts act together to stop or make it very painful to do anything. It is what you do though that matters more. You should have an idea what you need to do each day, the basic domestics, doing the washing, tidying up, food shopping and cooking the tea - make an effort to do these things irrespective of how you feel, your feelings will have to catch up later (could be several hours but usually is less), in my view this is an extremely important technique to learn. If you find this a major struggle, then do them slowly at least, it is also much better to do a bit than nothing. Use the clock to set yourself targets.

Also just take one day at a time - you only have to get through to the evening, THEN you can relax a little. People develop their own way of dealing with depression.

This above really is to someone who is really suffering with depression, you might not be this bad but it can apply generally also.

Do you believe in God by the way?

[JR81 in reply to Hidden]

Apology for the late response, had been busy at work and non stop sickness... I've been diagnosed having chronic depression 2 years ago and I was on and off with medications (combining with sports) but last year when I decided to fight my depression and stop taking my medication, hubby ask for a divorce. Now, i'm back in this country taking my son at full custody. I can say I've moved on 99% from my divorce but I still have moments of feeling depress for no particular reasons and sometimes leads to anger which freak me out when I noticed those emotions building up again. Procrastination has been like an illness at the moment, perhaps part of depression or partly attitude..?

[msmyth337]

Not very well. I have been married 24yrs & have 2 children (7 & 5yrs) 7yr old has autism which has put a huge strain on our relationship. My husband depression has got worse due to lots of issues with my son such as having to change his school due to physical/emotional abuse, complaining council/transport changing lots. He recently lost his job due to excess time off, but he is having counselling & is trying. Its just so hard waking wondering what mood he in today & I feel like I'm walking on egg shells, he keeps saying its not me its him, but he can be so distant & my head is all over the play. Its first time Iv'e dealt with depression & not handling it very well, I know he not trying to hurt me, but I feel so lost & worried my marriage is over. My husband says he doesn't want to separate, but if he still like this in 6 months I'm not sure if we make it & what the future holds. Iv'e also got the stress of working, which the depression is starting have an effect as me as my mind is else where. I'm also mostly looking after the house, but he will at least look after himself & kids. Sorry just wanted to vent as my husband talks to our friends about how he feeling & I don't want to add extra pressure or get them to take sides...

[JR81 in reply to msmyth337]

Thanks for sharing, really appreciated. I can fully understand your side cause neither has been easy though. My ex-husband find it hard too, however, my depression built up through stress that has been on top of each other and having no one to talk to. We had many issues that make me so depressed one of them is having an autistic child and perhaps I myself is also autistic...In my experience, inside my head at that time, all I need is him to be there and listen to me without pressuring me to get better the next day, acknowledge and understand my silence when I became withdrawn as I need space and time to recharge my energy. For me, the reassurance from the partner that they are there who acknowledge and fully understand our struggles rather than criticizing our suffering is very important. As long as your husband talk to his friends, that's a great sign and some hopes but best you should both seek therapy or counselling. good luck!