I've recently had my first baby at the age of 20, (he is six months old now) and when he was 7 weeks old, I was diagnosed with Postnatal Depression. Now, four months after the diagnosis it turns out I do not have PND and I actually have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). This is caused by sexual abuse when I was a child.
I'm on medication (100mg of sertraline & 40mg of propranolol daily) but I'm still not feeling any better. I feel numb, like nothing matters to me any more. I feel guilty that I'm always upset or too busy having a panic attack or crying to spend quality time with my baby but I'm too anxious to let anyone baby sit him either (so I can spend time getting better) as I cannot trust anyone with my child after what happened to me as a child.
Nothing is working for me. I've been taking medication for almost 5 months now, I've been meeting with a psychiatric nurse, support groups and I've had to quit my job also. So I feel as if I'm stuck at home with my baby and not giving him a very good life.
If anyone has any advice, I would really appreciate it. Thank you.