I have been asking this question for many years but can not find a plausible answer. I spend a lot of time analysing death and many a night i have gone to bed wishing not to wake up. I managed to get out of really bad depression by trying to think positive thoughts. I had a very good doc but now he has moved on and now feel i have to start all over again. I had 4 sessions with mental health but found that they just listen with no positive action. I am so limited to what i can do as i suffer pain 24/7 i was on liquid morphine but the doc has said it was the wrong pain relief so has switched me to a slow release morphine tablet and paracetamol. To early to say if its for the better? I wish i could work out what causes this illness as i have no money worries with the house paid for and being retired no work worries. I get so annoyed when i see the state of the country and the way it is heading, i get sick to death of all the scroungers that bleat they do not get enough in benefits ( i worked all my life and took any job to earn money) now they want me to fund them with my taxes. Sick to death of the crooked MP'S. The illegal dross thats flooding the country. I seem to take the weight of the country on my back. I wish i could build a wall around myself and shut out the countries failings. I know i have rambled but feel a little better having put it in the written word.