I have been in a state of emptiness for maybe three or two years or something.
I no longer have any emotions for anything of existence except for a thought of how nice it would be if it was gone. Nothing gives me pleasure anymore, or sadness or confusion or anything it seems. Every day is just another boring bothersome day. Everything is bothersome, waking is bothersome, walking is bothersome, thinking is bothersome, the people walking by me on the sidewalk are bothersome, the light is bothersome, the dark is bothersome, living is bothersome. Existing is a chore i no longer want to commit. but yet another bothersome chore prevents me from bypassing another. Everything is in my way. Everything prevents me from doing anything. Why would i want to do something to get rid of something if the result is a repeat of the same in a different format. No longer do i want to be bothered. But a problem requires a solution. A solution i don't want to be bothered with.
Everything that exists is bothersome and I have to pay for it. You have to pay for it. Everything has to pay for it. It is a wonder everything accepts this. because I will no longer.