I've completely lost sight of what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, and who has been there for me. I am completely shut down. I am scared that if I don't change my mentality that this will ruin disconnect me from everyone entirely. I'm scared that because I don't relate to anyone or anything that I will not be able to get married, have a nice house, a family or a job. I'm afraid that if I don't figure out what my problem is that I will be homeless. I am scared of failure. I am scared of what happens when I fail. I am losing the motivation and enthusiasm to get out of bed. I'm having issues dealing with the skeletons in my closet. Being so I have had a hard time making new friends and meeting new people because I just stopped caring all together. Nobody ever listened to me and nobody ever thought I was good enough, so why should I right? I am getting pummeled by my mind, trying to get things going. I have been running on ice, not going anywhere and falling overtime I try to get traction again. I am becoming my own worst enemy and I don't know how to stop me from hating myself. I hope writing this helps me shine a light on who I am and how to put myself back together.