Want to scream

I've never written on a forum before so I hope it makes sense and not jumbled up, like it currently is in my head.

I feel that people don't like me, that I'm a nuisance and that I'm not good enough or clever enough.  I feel that I say the wrong thing and people look at me like I'm stupid and shouldn't have said that.  

My parents aren't interested in me, I spoke to them yesterday and all they wanted to do was talk about my brother and weren't interested in me (they never have really) when I mentioned it to my other half, he just said they've always been like that so why did I expect them to be different this time.  The problem is I forget when I don't speak to them and and when I do speak to them I feel crap afterwards and feel that I've done something wrong.  My mum once said to me when I was little that if they'd had my brother first they wouldn't have had me.  

I think my husband is getting annoyed with me for moaning about how I'm feeling and tells me not to be stupid and all I want to do is go into a room and cry/scream but for some reason I can't cry it won't come out.

Thanks

3 Replies

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  • You know that saying, you can pick your friends, not your Family.

    I understand what you mean, but like everything, you must not let it get to you. Parents can be a little pain in arse at times. You need to think straight, and etc. Try not to let them get too you, or press your buttons. OK

    Then I told my mother I got PTSD and Depression, from Military experience, my mother told me, you did that to yourself. I just looked at her for a moment, and got up from the chair, and walked out.

    So basically, try to keep your mind of it, if they talk about your brother all the time, just dust yourself off, and say, Right, got to go, got lots of stuff too do. If they turn to you and ask what? Just say, I going now. They soon start getting to know you after that. Nothing worst than saying something out of the blue, and just walking away.

    Be yourself, and if they want to speak to you, let them. But never let them get too you. It hurts, I know. But try to get yourself away from it, and do something for your self, OK

    Take Care

  • I can't cry either, it's such a weird thing not to be able to do. I don't feel much of anything, except stress, worry and anger, lots of anger. I always used to think my mum loved my brother more than me, she always told me it was in my head but tbh I still think it now sometimes. Sorry I'm probably not helping, just trying to say that your not alone Hun and if you ever wanna talk there are people who will understand exactly what you're going thru and who won't look at you like your saying stupid things, or being a nuisance or anything, we will listen coz even tho we don't know you we know how you feel and we know how we feel when people do it to us xxxx

  • You are okay.  Your parents are not.  It's a darn shame that they have done this to you.  It was there obligation to raise you with love and consideration.  Without being cruel to them, you don't have to take it....just get up and leave when they annoy you or tell them you have other things to do and get off the phone.  They may never come around, but you don't need to spend any more of your valued time trying to win them over.  Love and respect yourself and don't take what they dish out.  Also keep positive people in your life.  It sounds like your husband is exhausted with hearing about your family, but it would be kinder of him to at least respond like he cares about your feelings.  Maybe even help you work through it - if you really want his help.  Or seek counseling.   By the way, you are not being stupid, just responding to the lack of caring your family withholds.

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